Right My Wrongs (Adym Alyxander Yorba)

Chapter 23

It all started in ninth grade. Have you ever hit such a low point in your life, you don't even recognize yourself anymore? That was me at the age of 14. I reminisce back to ninth grade. My sister had recently moved out to live with some friends on the other side of Simi. My sister convinced me to start smoking with her. Smoking pot was fun, it became less fun when it wasn't just pot anymore. It moved on to heavier drugs and I slowly started to lose myself. I did this all because she promised me it would cure my severe depression. I was cutting myself every day just to get by. I had no friends, I was alone. My sister and Adym were the only people I really had. I remember drinking every night until I could physically feel my eyes roll into the back of my head and the only words that were come out were laced with sadness and the inexcusable drunk humor. I remember looking in the mirror and almost screaming my heart out because I hated the monster the reflection showed. I remember it all. My lowest point though, was getting arrested at school. I came to school and everything was fine. I met with some girl I hadn't really known and she wanted me to hold her drugs. She handed my muscle relaxers and xanax. I didn't mind holding it because I had figured I wouldn't get caught. I was smoking in the bathroom because I felt the need to, when this supposed friend of mine ratted on me. The police ran in and threw me outside. The tossed me to the ground and hand cuffed me. They searched my bad and found all the drugs, including my own that I was selling. I was arrested then and there. They consider being arrested, "Reading my rights and agreeing to them." I wasn't even expelled, I got suspended for a whole day. Don't you just love the public education system? I was taken to the office where I had to wait for my parents to come and take me. The look in my fathers eyes were one I would never forget. The fights my parents had for the next few months, I wouldn't forget either. They blamed me for being the cause of them wanting a divorce. I was dumbfounded, how could a 14 year old ruin love? How could a 14 year old ruin herself in the process? That was the night that I chose that life was no longer an option. Life was not something I wanted to wake up to in the morning. I didn't want to hear the annoying birds chirp through my window. I didn't want to go to a school where the teachers would publicly humiliate me. I didn't want to stare into the eyes of my oh so loving parents just to feel their hatred upon me. No more, I told myself. I called Adym just before swallowing about 20 Oxycodon. Oxycodon was one medication I had been addicted to for a long time, so I figured, why not end my life with the one thing I loved. Adym called 911 and I was taken in an ambulance. I remember feeling my pulse completely stop for a few seconds. Death is weird. You don't feel anything, there is no special place to go to, you don't exist anymore. You are no more.

I come back to reality and Adym is looking at me strange, "Are you okay?" He asks. I shake my head and push my hair behind me ear, "Yea, I'm okay." I lie, I'm not okay. Thinking about the past has this negative energy that makes me sick. I didn't realize how sick apparently. I go into the bathroom and throw up a bit. I didn't know such traumatic experiences could do this to me. Adym leaves the room for a bit and comes back with pepto bismol and some water. "You're not okay. What's going on?" I tell him, "9th grade" and throw up again. He holds my hair up for me and says, "Everything after 9th grade was okay, right?" I reply, "For the most part." I feel like it's really easy for me to make life into such a beautiful thing now. I am a very positive person that has really terrible things happen to her. I brush my teeth to get rid of the awful stench coming from my mouth and look in the mirror. All I see is beauty even when I feel awful. I look at Adym who is looking at me with his head slightly tilted. I tell Adym, "You're beautiful." He looks a bit confused and says, "Thank you" with a smile. I finish brushing my teeth and I before I can say anything, my phone goes off. I look at the screen and it's my ex who I've tried forgetting everything about. Luke. I read the text and it says, "I forgot how sexy you are." We ended things in ninth grade because he cheated on me with multiple girls and he sexually assaulted me. He was the one who broke up with me, I don't know why I couldn't leave him. He is the worst person I know, yet I loved him at one point somehow. I block his number so I never have to receive anything from him again. I tell Adym, "Have you ever had an ex try to come back when they realize how great you are now?" He says back, "One. I almost took her back actually. I was too blinded by her convincing words to realize her true intentions. Money." I laugh and say, "I'm sorry. I hope you know I'm very humble and would never do that sort of thing." He kisses my cheek and says, "Of course not, pukey." I playfully slap him and say, "So you combined cute baby words into puke? How beautiful!" We laugh and he says, "Is it ok if Sawyer and I go out for a bit, we want to go vlogging and such." I say back, "You don't need my permission to do anything, love." He says shyly, "Yea, but you're shoulder. I want to take care of you." I look at my arm and say, "If I need you, I'll call. Rebecca will be here. Everything will be okay." He smiles and kisses me on the cheek, "Alright, I'll be back. I love you." I take those words to heart and smile, "I love you, too." And with that, he is out the door. I lay on the bed and try to get some rest. It's incredibly hard to find a comfortable position to sleep in when you get stabbed. I lay and rest my eyes and eventually go into a dream I'll never forget.

(A.N- It was kind of hard writing this chapter because everything I said was from true experience, except without Adym. I hope you guys enjoy. I really appreciate you guys voting and commenting. The more you comment, the faster I update. I usually wait 3-4 days to update. If you keep commenting, I'll speed it up ;)