Guess who's back? (I am going to read the entire lyrics to that song in the comments, aren't I) Well, as you see, I'm not finished with this book yet, so let me just upload some other oneshots for you needy little shits out there (I'm talking about you @AtticEmma)
Phil is jealous of Dan, who has so many more views and followers than him. One day, he has enough of holding his anger inside.
"Phil, Phil look at what this fan made. It's so disturbingly hilarious", Dan laughs, next to Phil on the couch. Phil looks at the weird llama picture on tumblr and chuckles a bit, but his eyes don't laugh anymore. Dan notices the cold glance, the bags under Phil's blue eyes, who aren't sparkling with joy as they used to anymore. "Phil... What's wrong?" Phil just shakes his head, turning back to the book in his hands. "Nothing", he sighs. Dan furrows his eyebrows and puts his laptop besides him, something rarely happens. "No, there is something wrong. Come on, you can tell me, right?" All of a sudden, Phil looks different. His expression went from tired to a whole other emotion: anger. "Yeah, you know what, Dan, something indeed is wrong, alright? You and your fans, you and your billions of followers, that's what's bothering me. You know what I have? Some people making picture collections of me. I have half as many fans as you have, Dan. And I worked harder for it, you know that. I make twice as many videos as you do, I edit all of the game videos lately, I made a frikin game and everyone thinks you made it. It's always you, isn't it." Phil points at the window, at the dark night sky outside and the thousands of lights above London. "Look at the stars. Look how they shine for you. Everything I ever made is less important that what you did, you asshole. And you don't even see how it breaks me, how I try and try to be as good as you are and how it never works. How everyone still sees you, the hot one, the relatable one, the better one. I'm stuck in this position of never being enough. But do you notice? No. You never notice anything, do you?" Phil sighs and pulls a hand through his hair, his eyes filled with tears. Dan just sits there, his expression sad, watching as his friend breaks in to pieces, and he can't do anything to prevent it. "Phil, I.." "No. Don't touch me. Don't.. Ugh, why are you always so good? I hate you sometimes, you know. I hate you so much." Phil stands up and walks to the door, until he stands still and turns around one last time to the hurt brown-eyed boy, still collapsed onto the coach.
"Sometimes I hate you so much I think I love you."
Phil leaves the room, leaving Dan, hurt, broken and for the first time in his life wondering what mysteries are hidden in those dazzling blue eyes. "I love you too", he whispers to the empty space, a single tear rolling down his cheek. "And I'll always do."
