memories

chapter four

I've been swimming in the darkness for what seems like a long time when I'm suddenly yanked back into my body.

I can feel my arms, hands, legs, feet,etc. I give a shout of joy in my head. I try and pry my eyes open.

Once I get them open and adjusted to the light I look around the room I'm in. I'm in a hospital room dressed in one of those horrible gowns.

I can feel the pressure of a bandage on one arm and the iv on my other arm.

I see Valentino sitting in a chair beside me but he doesn't noticed that I'm awake before I slip into darkness again.

A while later I wake again and val is asleep and once I realize I'm fully up I start freaking out. Which is not good considering my panic attacks.

Val immediately jumps up and is by my side in a heartbeat. "Calmarsi bambina, sono qui. Respiro, va bene." (Translation: calm down baby girl,I'm here. Breath, it's okay.)

I calm a little but still continue freaking out. He whispers little nothings in my ear as I calm down.

Finally he steps back once my breathing is normal. " I bet you are wondering why I'm here bambina?" He asks and I nod.

"W-when you fell it was like my heart broke. I didn't know what was going on. Someone pulled your sleeve up to check your pulse and we saw the cuts," he looks down years in his eyes before continuing, " it was all my fault. I was trying to push Joy away that day. We couldn't find you afterwards and I knew you were still at school that day because of your car." He takes a break.

I nod telling him silently to go on. "I hated myself for it. I made you take Anna and leave. I hurt you. I made you cut and hurt yourself because of me. When I arrived at school she attacked me. I couldn't get her off me. It was horrible to get your note. I didn't sleep that night. I punch the heck out of my punching bag downstairs, angered at myself."

I nod not really wanting to talk and just wanting to take in all of this information. A few minutes passed and I ask,"how long was I out for?"

"You have been out for a week. The doctors figured with blood loss before any of this happened, you not eating much and definitely not sleeping much that your brain needed time to heal your body. Bambina why didn't you come to me first?" valentino tells me. (remember bambina is baby girl in italian.)

"I thought you didn't want me so that's why I didn't and why I left. I was ashamed." i tell him tears running down my face. He reaches up and takes my face gently into his hands kissing each tear away.

"Bambina, I care for you. I didn't mean to hurt you in anyway. I'm sick to my stomach just thinking that I hurt you." he says and I hug him tightly.

"Valentino where is Annamarie?" I ask.

"She is with my mamma." he says and then the door busts open and Anna is jumping onto my lap.

"Sissy, why did you sleep do long?" she asks immediately.

"My body needed to heal anna." i tell her and she nods saying she is just glad I'm finally up.

When I look up from Anna I see who seems to be Val's mom in the doorway. " please come in. thank you for watching Anna in these circumstances." I tell her.

" it was no problem. She is a wonderful child. So full of energia." she says.(energia- energy)

"My name is Abrielle. I'm this dumb one's mother." she says while pointing at val with a twinkle in her eyes. I laugh and so does Anna.