I love how everyone sees me as the "golden child" just because I have good grades and I somehow respect my parents and adults. Just because I have those things doesn't mean I wouldn't like to have a little fun. I have done so much that if the younger me saw me, I would of been terrified. I never thought that my life would come to this madness and craziness but somehow I honestly find joy in it. The only thing that somehow lights a fire under me. I love how everyone is saying that my friend is doing all this stuff but when I think about I'm doing that stuff and no one is even pointing a finger at me. Even if I told everyone that I was doing that they wouldn't really care, because it's me. Which I don't understand because my friend is getting all this shit about it but if I confessed everyone would be all cool with it and not even care. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad way but I couldn't care less. No one really knows me. Only 3 people have actually seen the real me, and I know I terrified all of them when they saw me. But I guess I'm grateful or whatever because they are somehow still by my side not even judging me (well to my face at least). But yeah the real me is my demon and thoughts on the outside. I might cry or laugh or get mad hysterically but hey that's just from everything that's going on in my mind.
