One of the Bullied | ✔

Chapter 48 - Nightmares

Everything really is great. It's so great, I can't quite believe anything. Seth and I have now been kind of together for just over a month. It's just a week before I go to London, and that kind of scares me.

I don't know what will happen when I'm away. What if he gets over-excited and tells someone? What if everything has been a prank and I show up to the party to everyone laughing at me?

I'm also scared to leave because I don't want him to forget me, or find someone else, or replace me in some way. And I don't want him to get close to Luke and the others again, either. And I don't want Nate to persuade him about anything.

God, I really shouldn't fucking go.

On the other hand - I've spoken to Jean and he's told me that I can go and stay with him and his family and his huge dog whilst my parents go and see some friends in Paris.

It'll be great to see Jean again: it almost makes up for not seeing Seth for a month. I smile to myself, rolling over onto my back. Seth states explicitly in his text that he demands to be invited back to my pool, and whether he should bring his trunks with him now.

I laugh, texting him back to say he can swim tomorrow. I'll get my mum out of the house for a couple of hours, and it'll give Seth and I another chance to talk and be together.

I'm not quite sure why I'm so nervous about leaving. All of this was too good to be true. If he does find someone else, or realises that what he's been doing is stupid, then maybe things would be better off that way.

While I wait for him to arrive, I make toast and dress, putting contact lenses in instead of glasses. I've had lenses stashed away for months, but Seth was the one who actually convinced me I should wear them.

I have to admit, they do look good. I grin as the doorbell rings.

Although Seth is coming to the pool tomorrow, we're both aware I'm leaving in a matter of days so I invited him over today, too, just to talk and hang out (and maybe even do some work).

"Hey!" I lean in to kiss his cheek. I like how familiar we've become. It's sweet. But on the other hand... Everytime I kiss him, I feel guilty. Awfully guilty. For letting myself cave so easily.

"Hey, Zoe." He follows me inside, closing the library doors behind us. I told my mum he was coming, and begged her to leave us alone. I'm still sort of mad at her about the whole Nate thing.

I yawn as we sit down.

"God, I stayed up until like three last night." I murmur, collapsing onto one of the sofas near the piano.

"Why?" Seth asks, glancing at the piano for a moment before sitting down beside me. He stands up quickly, going over to a bookshelf. "Woah, Zoe, can I have a look at these?"

"I didn't know you liked reading." I tell him.

"Wow, thanks." He replies sarcastically.

"Well, yeah, I knew you like reading, but not as much!" I exclaim, watching him as he sorts through one of my collections of hardback classics. "The rest are there." I point to the bookcase opposite him, and watch with an amused smile as he goes into raptures over how many books I have.

"Where do you even get the money for all this?"

"I've been collecting that particular collection since I was eleven." I tell him. His eyes widen. "A couple of them are second hand, but I mostly used birthday money and stuff. I always get a couple of boxsets every year."

"You're lucky."

"Surely you can afford books too?"

"Yeah, but..." He trails off, and I understand. He's not the kind of person that would spend money on books. He probably spends it on alcohol and god knows what else, and on partying and going out. I sigh to myself.