The happily ever after we deserve

Chapter 2 (Clarke pov)

It's been one whole month since Lexa left me and all of Skikru at Mount Weather.  A whole month since I--well, actually, Bellamy and I--killed a whole civilization.  I would be lying if I said I was fine.  I lie to everyone, every day.  I always tell them that I am fine.  It's tiring. But I bare it so they don't have to.  I can't tell anyone.  I don't know why I can't--I just can't. The only one who knows is Raven.  She caught me having a breakdown and made me tell her everything, which felt really good to off my chest.  If someone had told me a year ago that my best friend would be a crazy, sarcastic, but lovable engineer--I would have laughed in their face.

*distant inaudible yells*

I get up and half jog, half run, to the gate of Arkadia.  "It's the Grounder Commander, "yells one of the guards at the gate.  My steps falter.  Every day, I have dreamed that Lexa would show up at that gate.  And that I would finally be able to let out all of my anger.  That I would release all of these feelings that I don't know how to put into words.  I just now understand that I have no idea how to do that.  What would I even say?

The gates open.  Sure enough, it's Lexa, unarmed, and alone on her horse. The moment Lexa saw me standing there her "commander face" broke for the tiniest millisecond.  I saw all of the pain and regret that was hiding behind it, but as soon as I saw everything--it was gone.

Abby comes out of nowhere and starts walking very angrily toward Lexa.  I run-up to her and say, "I can handle this."

I walk up really close to Lexa, so no one can hear our conversation.  "What do you want and why the hell did you come here?"  I growl.

" I just want to talk..."  Lexa starts to say. 

"Make it fast."  I cut Lexa off.

"Clarke, Please.  I just want to talk.  You can even spend the whole time screaming at me if it would make you feel better."

Wow, I think.  I have been dreaming of this moment for a month.  And now that it finally happened, I don't know what to say.  "Fine. We can talk in my room. Let's go. You have 10 minutes."  I tell her. 

We pass Raven on the way to my room.  She takes one look at Lexa and says,  "If you so much as say something wrong--I will make you go boom."  I give her what I hope is a reassuring look, then she walks away.  I open the door and Lexa walks through.  As I close the door, Lexa begins to say something, but then changes her mind.

"So,"  I prompt. "What did you come here to say?"

Lexa takes a deep breath.  "Clarke, leaving you at Mount Weather was the hardest thing I have ever done." Lexa looks up at me. Her" commander's face" was completely gone. 

"It was for your people... I would have done the same,"  I state calmly.

"I probably don't deserve your forgiveness or even an alliance,  but when have to find a way to live together. Grounders and Skaikru." Lexa rambles.
I pause for a moment. A month ago she would have let Skaikru die, and now she is trying to extend an olive branch. This wasn't the same commander that left me stranded at Mount Weather. "How do I know that you would honor an alliance."

"I will make you the 13th clan" Lexa states promptly. 

" My people need supplies, help with hunting parties, and to not be in a constant battle with grounders. Can you guarantee that?"

"Yes," Lexa says with no hesitation. 

Someone lightly taps on the door.  "Clarke, Abby needs you."

"Ok, tell her I will be there soon,"  I say back. I hear them walk away.  "I will walk you to the gate,"  

"You will need to come to Polis for the ceremonies to become the 13th"  Lexa tells me.

"I will, "  I say.

"Chose delegates to bring with you" Lexa adds as she turns to leave. 

I watch as Lexa takes her horse from a guard leaves Arkadia.  Time to go see what my mom needs.

"Where were you, Clarke.  You took forever getting here?"  Bellamy questions. 

Everyone else nods their heads like they were thinking the same thing.
"I had something to take care of,"  I answer.
"We want to make supply runs to Mount Weather since there is no one living there,"  Abby jumps in.  "Also, they have state of the art supplies,"  she adds.
"I don't see why we shouldn't,"  I reply.
"Ok, let's do it, Princess. We leave tomorrow,"  Bellamy announces. 

As everyone starts to leave the room, Abby calls me to the side.  Once everyone is gone, Abby says, "How did your chat go with the commander?"  When she says commander she makes a horrible face like she just ate something sour.
"It went well.  I told her that we would agree to be the 13th clan." I tell her.

"You what?" She looks at me in astonishment. 

"She guaranteed help and protection for our people."

"You had no right to do that without consulting me or Cane, you are not in charge here" Abby scolds.

"Fine, ask Cane I think he would agree with me," I say matter of factly. 

Almost right on cue Cane comes in.

"Clarke took it upon herself agree to an alliance with the commander, apparently we are going to become the 13th clan now," Abby says to cane without taking her eyes off me.

"I think that is a good idea," Cane tells Abby.

Abby looks dumbfounded, she looks at the both of us like we just lost our minds and storms out of the room. 

"We leave in two days for Polis," I tell Cane as I excuse myself from the room as well.

On the way back to my room I can't help but think about how relieving it was to see Lexa and that I didn't get to yell at her. She didn't get to see what Mount Weather did to me. What she did to me.