DOKI, DOKI | ouran headcannons

069

since this is our 69th chapter, i'm going to present the crack au of ouran high school host club.

tamaki souh ; the dealer. he's often seen handing over suspicious packages to other students. he only got laid by sherry the bong, which, fortunately, was broken by haruhi. "what mysterious white powder?"

kyoya ootori ; the queen bee. he's a part-time rapper, full-time mom. he's dropping his mixtape soon. his stage name is k-cash. he's part of a sub-squad called, pretty in pink. "can you feel that sass?"

mitsukuni hanninozuka ; the asshole. he may look like a nice guy but he really isn't. he gives everyone a nickname. (haruhi's is hoe-chan) he's that one douchebag in your squad. you sometimes wonder why he's there, but then you remember that he brings food. "you want to fite meh?"

takashi morinozuka ; the lit princess. he high-key talks smack about everyone, he doesn't even hide it. he's a featuring artist in k-cash's mixtape. pretty in pink squad. "yeah, she's a lil bitch. so what if she's standing right here? i want her to hear me."

hikaru hitachiin ; the pornstar. he's not really a pornstar, but his nudes did get leaked. low-key always horny. he cries during disney films. dank memer. "*plays all star by smash mouth*"

kaoru hitachiin ; the gay one. not really since everyone acts pretty gay. he's fabulous af. he's like the stereotypical gay fashionista. he snaps his fingers sassily. he's dating the queen bee. he's also a part of k-cash's mixtape. pretty in pink squad. "oh no she didn't!"

haruhi fujioka ; the somewhat normal one. literally questions everyone there. she's chill tho. pornstar's side hoe. the dealer's main hoe. she's a student who joined a gay club because she accidentally broke a bong. "why does shit always happen to me?"

commoners condoms ; the equivalent to commoners coffee.

sherry the bong ; the equivalent to the 8 million yen vase.

gay club ; the equivalent to the host club. (that's honestly a no brainier)

ouran gay club is now open. . .