A week passed. Courf was going insane. He missed Jehan, more than he'd ever missed anyone. He missed gossiping about the other Les Amis. He missed the movie nights, the snuggling. But he would trade all of that just to see Jehan again. Jehan had literally barricaded himself in his apartment. He'd heard that Enjolras was going today, and he would have to prove that no one else was with him before he'd let him in. Enjolras was going today. Courf flung out of bed and rushed to the kitchen. His phone had been charging. He texted Enjolras as quickly as he could. "What time are u visiting Jehan?" He got a reply back almost instantly. "Now. I'm getting him some food. ill be there in a bit, why?" Courfeyrac hesitated. Enjolras texted again. "YOU arent going to visit him right? He told me to come alone." Courf responded, "No, I'm not visiting him. so dont worry bout that."
Enjolras had wanted to come to Jehan's with Grantaire, but the two as a couple would literally break Jehan.
Jehan spent the entire time crying on Enjolras' shoulder. He didn't tell him anything that happened. Enjolras had simply arrived with some lunch and asked Jean what was up with him. When he was finally allowed in, Enjolras set the food down on the counter and turned to the poet.
"What's up?" Jehan bit his lip, his eyes watering up. "Courfeyrac?" At the sound of his name, Jehan ran toward Enjolras and began bawling on his shoulder as the hugged. They spent the next few hours like that. Enjolras didn't mind, these things happened, but he was still confused as to what happened between the two. Jehan sniffled after a few hours and pulled back. They had moved to the couch and Jean just sat there, cross legged.
"I'm sorry." He said, his voice cracking.
"It's okay. Whatever happened, whatever's happening, I hope you get through it." Enjolras said, strongly.
"Thanks." After a not-so-awkward pause, he quickly said, "Oh, you can leave if you want to now. I used up most of your day, and you probably had plans- sorry. I didn't even think about if you had plans-"
"No, I didn't and I don't. All I had to do today was come check-up on you."
Jehan flashed a smile, though he wasn't happy. "I appreciate that. Thank you," So after Enjolras assuring that Jehan didn't need anything else, he headed out the door.
"Do you need anything else? You want anyone else to come visit you or something?"
Jehan shook his head. He led Enjolras out the door, giving him one last thank you, and watched him walk down the hallway to the apartment's lobby.
Jehan quickly shut the door after Enjolras was nearly out of sight. But something was caught when he slammed it. He opened it again and carefully took the now-bent envelope off the doorknob on the outside of the door. It was Courfeyrac's handwriting. He wanted to shred it and not read it. But this was Courf, he would never be able to damage something that Courf made. But he didn't have to read it. He wasn't going to read it. He was just going to put it back on the doorknob.
One minute later, Jehan was hungrily ripping (but being careful not to damage the contents) the envelope open and splaying out the letter.
Dear Jehan,
I'm sorry. I know that you feel bad about what happened the other night. DON'T. I know you don't think I was actually going to ask you out. Stop stressing- because I WAS going to.
It's all my own fault. I was planning to ask you out, but I was so nervous. I mean, I didn't think you'd say yes, and…
If I had asked sooner, then we wouldn't be spending this week apart. Yeah, this last week has been torturous for me. I've been so upset and I just don't feel complete without you. The cafe sucks to go to without you. You'd think that it'd still be okay with Grantaire and the others and all, but no- it's not. I sat in the corner, sad and angry with myself, hoping that I'd see you in your white hoodie and flower shirt and light blue jeans through the window. But you never came, which broke my heart.
And I know this is all lame, and no where near the amazing poetry that you make, and I know that you also probably ripped this up and threw it away (although if I REALLY thought that, I wouldn't be writing this, would I?) And you're probably just mad at me for not asking you out, and you should be, so that's why I really need to see you so we can do it in person. Unless you don't like me anymore after that whole thing, then I understand. Just text me and tell me that you don't like me in that way and I'll back off and stop texting and calling you 100 times a day.
I'm sorry that I'm just wasting your time with my apologies, because now that I think about it, you probably are going to say no and I'm just writing for myself right now.
And, honestly, go ahead and say no. Because I can live if you say no (barely, but still), but I don't think I can go another week without even SEEING you. I don't think I can go half a week without seeing you. I don't know how I'm going to stand the next two days until our next cafe meeting to see you.
Scratch those last sentences- I CAN wait however long just so that I can see you again. I can wait a while to see you again (I don't want to, but it still means I get to see you. And that's better than not seeing you at all.) Because I'd wait a year just to see your wonderful flower tee shirts, and your glorious smile, and your freckles, and your pale, thin fingers, and...
And I'm blabbering now and I really need to stop, so okay bye.
I'm sorry,
Courf
The 'O' in his name was a smiley face, as usual. It took Jehan thirty minutes to read this. Partly because his eyesight would get blurry from tears sometimes and he'd have to stop, and partly because every sentence he read he'd have to reread it because he didn't believe it was true. Every now and then, another person who lived in the building would pass him in the hallway and be completely frightened to see Jehan crying on the ground by his door; Jehan didn't much care about them, though.
Jehan just wanted to run to Courfeyrac and hug him and cry on his shoulder. After his outburst, he just figured that he might have been wrong. And even if he had been right, he thought he might have scared him off. And now Courfeyrac was saying that he had the same fears as Jehan? Jehan laughed. They had both been worrying the other would reject them for so long now. Jehan grabbed the car keys and his phone and darted out the door.
Jehan raced into Courfeyrac's apartment building, trying, but failing, to hide the massive grin on his face. He was immensely happy.
He knocked about twenty times. He anxiously waited to see the door to swing open. But it didn't. He waited five minutes, but didn't hear anyone rushing to the door. He rang the doorbell. He waited ten more minutes. Did Courfeyrac not like him after putting him through all that? A part of him told him that Courf would never do that, but another part thought about if the letter didn't mean anything. He began to cry again and returned to his car.
He sat in the front seat, wiping his eyes over and over.
