Would it be this calm?
Yes, I believe so,
If I were to start again.
No longer a puffy sobbing mess.
Calm, cool, collected.
Take a drag of my cigarette
And slice my arm open.
Maybe my stomach or leg instead-
Mother doesn't want me to show my thighs
So she wouldn't know or see it there.
If apathy is the only way out
Then I will be apathetic throughout.
I don't see the point of continuing this way.
I was fine before;
It helped me.
It won't kill me, not necessarily;
Not unless I let it.
And I won't.
If I start again,
I will control the beast.
I'm contemplating it,
Seeing as how my life seems so dull.
It's dreary here,
The boredom is endless.
I've nothing to do.
Nobody to see.
No song to sing.
And what's life without a song?
So I think I might.
Perhaps I'll pick my old friend back up.
And return him to my arm once again.
I feel he's getting a tad dehydrated-
The blood will do him good.
