Colors (bxb) [DISCONTINUED]

true colors

"Your true colors are starting to get loud."

🔵🔴⚫️⚪️🔘

Justin's Point of View

Something lit in my stomach when I first laid eyes on Kristopher Simmons.

You can call it cliche, I don't care. You can call it anything you want. After moving for the umpteenth time, I was almost convinced that I wouldn't find anyone like my ex-boyfriend, Marquez. I was unhappy and borderline-depressed — which might be shocking to a lot of people, considering who I am and the relationship that they have with me. I'm Charming Justin; I'm Playful Justin; I'm Cool, Witty, slightly Clumsy Justin. I'm not Sad Justin. Never Sad Justin.

Well, I also happen to be Human Justin. And every human has their breaking point.

Fortunately for me, I met Kris, and so I never got the chance to really reach my breaking-point. I don't want to say that it was love at first sight, because it probably wasn't. He was attractive in all the ways that Marquez wasn't; he was a ball of awkwardness, and it showed in nearly everything that Kris did. From the way that he laughed to the way that he frowned, everything seemed controlled and cautious, like he was watching himself from afar. For some reason, I liked that. I liked knowing that he cared about how he looked around me — even if he didn't have to.

And then, as the days passed by and Kris became more than just a friendly-face, he began peeling away at his layers and opening up to me. And, for some reason, that made me like him even more. His flustering was cute, but his cursing and defiance was almost impossible to look away from. The rumors and controversy that surrounded him made him even more captivating, in a sort of twisted way. Some people said that he saw colors in the air — something that I could never even begin to imagine, for more reasons than one. Others said that he was a walking train-wreck; collide with him, teachers and students alike, and you'd walk away with a little more than a few bruises.

There were some people that even whispered about him being a little less-than-straight. I kept that rumor away from him. I didn't want my semi-crush to get the idea that I liked him, and I definitely didn't want him to think that I had a problem with homosexuality. I tend to stumble on my words whenever I get nervous, and I really didn't want to mess things up.

At the same time, I didn't want to know if he had a problem with being gay. Ignorance is bliss. I've had enough homophobic crushes to last a lifetime.

I think something in my heart changed on the day that he revealed his chromesthesia to me. He can see random colors floating in the air, while I can't see any colors at all. I don't know if I believe in fate or not, but that really feels like it. Not only that, but that day was also the day we accidentally kissed. It was sudden, quick, messy — and one of the best things that ever could've happened. His lips plunged into mine and somehow connected themselves to my heart. And even though it was only for a second, I could tell that there was a flicker of a spark between us, just waiting for the opportunity to explode.

I was scared, though. Who wouldn't be scared? I pushed him off because I was afraid of the aftermath, and he ran away for the same reason. The fact that our relationship hadn't suffered from it, though, was testament enough. I don't exactly know what kind of bond we had back then, but it was strong.

. . . And then came the trouble. The trouble that threatened to reverse and destroy everything that we managed to build.

It started with Robin. That much, I know. I was jealous of the guy, for reasons that I don't even understand. I don't think that I'm a very self-conscious person, but he looks at me in a way that makes me question it. He looks at me like he knows something I don't, like he's somehow better than me. It's annoying. The fact that Kris seemed strangely capitulated with him made it even more annoying. I didn't like him from the start.