Letters to Nowhere #1 (Completed!)

Letters to Nowhere: Part 78

"Doesn't someone live there?" I bit my lip, staring over his shoulder, not wanting to look him in the eye.

            "They're both home for the weekend. They don't care if we hang out there."

            "Okay," I said, even though I wasn't quite ready to decide yet. It seemed silly to stand outside and contemplate something that probably wasn't a big deal to Jordan at all.

            He removed a card from his wallet and stuck it inside the slot on the door. We walked through a hall with boys milling around everywhere. Several waved and said hi to Jordan, but no one looked too surprised to see him or said anything about me coming in with him.

            Before I could even absorb this hallway, Jordan was leading me into a small dorm room and closing the door. A twin bed sat on each side of the room, blue comforters neatly spread over them. I recognized the uniforms hanging in the closet since they were identical to the ones I'd seen Jordan wear every day to school. At the end of each bed sat a desk.

            I shuffled around the room, picking up random objects and looking them over—trophies and scrap paper, anything to keep me busy and keep me from biting my nails. My hands had even started to shake.

            "We can go if you want."

I turned around to face Jordan. He looked like the most vulnerable, worried boy ever, his hands stuffed in his pockets, his eyes not meeting mine. Then he finally did look at me and let out a long sigh. "I'm totally giving you the wrong idea here, aren't I?"

            "Kind of." I wiped my sweaty palms on my jeans. "I'm just nervous, I guess."

My admission seemed to give him confidence, because he stepped closer and took one of my hands. "Just tell me what to do, Karen. I like us. I really like us. And I don't want to screw it up." He smiled at me. "In fact, if you could just give me a list of all the possible ways that I can screw this up, that would be extremely helpful."

Feeling brave all of a sudden, I took a step in his direction, closing the gap between us. "I'd say it would be an epic failure on your part if you brought me all the way here and didn't even kiss me at least once."

"That..." He placed a hand on the back of my neck. "...was a great line."

I looked up at him and laughed. "It was, wasn't it? I'm pretty proud of myself."

He kissed me on the mouth, leaving his lips there for several seconds, long enough for me to want them there even longer. But then he pulled me down onto one of the beds and we lay shoulder-to-shoulder on top of the covers, our heads at the bottom and feet propped up on the pillows. "This is why I brought you here. I just wanted to be able to relax and not worry about anyone else. Not because I wanted to—"

"Have wild animal sex in someone else's dorm room bed?" I finished for him.

"I can't believe you just said that." He laughed again and turned his head. We were so close together, I could feel his breath landing on my cheek. "What's going on with you and my dad this week? I've avoided asking because I assumed you didn't want to stick me in the middle and you probably didn't want to talk about it in the house, yes?"

"I don't know what's going on," I admitted. "It's like suddenly nothing is good enough for him. I'm so tired—mentally and physically—I'm leaving the gym after every practice with nothing left and it's so hard and I just don't know..." I covered my face and groaned.

Jordan rolled on his side and tugged my hands away. "Sorry I asked. New subject? Something we can't talk about unless we're alone. I want to take advantage of the situation."