Petekey oneshots {petekey}

just words to me

Days after days of no sleep and just touring sat itself on Pete's chest, suffocating him greatly, not that he wanted it to end. It was an endless distraction which he was greatly appreciative without it he would break, he would collapse under the countless things he could be doing with his time, but this, it seemed real, it was actually something he was doing. He wasn't letting himself waste away like years before. 

Mikey handled warped tour just fine, unlike pete he didn't overthink the endless possibilities of things he could be doing. For him and many others the thought of warped ending in less than three weeks was exciting, it didn't hang above his head like a nuisance. 

It was mid week, but both Pete and Mikey needed a break from the tour busses, and the presence of others. It was midnight when Pete knocked on Mikey's tour bus door, and instead of Mikey got a sleep-deprived Frank staring at him, not even upset. 

"What're you doing here, Pete, it's almost one?" Frank grumbled, rubbing his sunken in eyes. 

"Hey, I was just wondering if Mikey was still up, I just wanted to talk to him." His voice trailed off as he spoke, lost in a thought and now second guessing his idea to come. "Y'know what, I'll just come back later, I didn't mean to bother you guys."

Frank waved his hand dismissively, "-don't worry about it, he's watching tv and eating leftovers, I'll get him," he said reassuringly. 

Inside came a small bit of bickouring between Frank and Mikey over inviting Pete inside the tour bus, but as expected Mikey won for his 'lovers' sake, and he was invited inside. 

Pete seated himself on the couch that lined the wall, a hideous flower print that got under your skin in an all too petty way. 

"Pete, my dude, what's up?" Mikey asked, tossing his bowl and fork in the trash, sinking into the couch next to Pete, seated too close to him for there to not be chemistry. 

Pete stared past mikey, sighing, not wanting to talk about it here, so he'd rather just lie, he'd rather make up excuses. For him, being there was painful and uncomfortable, uneasiness filled his stomach, and tears-his eyes.

"Can we go outside?" He asked, his voice unsteady. 

Mikey was silent and just followed Pete out into a daisy field. A flower aroma filled both of their noses, making both of them at ease and almost home there. In the distance tall pine trees swayed gently in the summer breeze, moonlight shining through between branches. 

Pete broke the silence with a small kiss to mikey's cheek. "I love you so much," He mumbled, between small pecks. 

Mikey kissed back eagerly, wrapping his arm around Pete's waist, securely and not letting go anytime soon. 

"Pete,-" Mikey's voice was practically dripping with lust "-I want to see the side of you that you don't show anyone." He was being as romantic as he could, sliding his hand to pete's hips, his callused fingers rubbing the soft skin gently. 

Pete pulled away, anxiety bursting from every inch of his tongue. 

"Mikey, I have needed to hear those words for so long," He muttered, carressing Mikey's cheek, and slowly kissing him again, however there were misconceptions between the two. 

Mikey thought they were going to have a hot make-out session, but Pete was ready to pour his heart out in the moonlight. 

"Mikey I love you so much, and I wanna be with you forever, but sometimes i don't know how long my forever can last. Sometimes I feel like a ticking time bomb, I feel like any minute it's all going to become too much and my life will be gone. I don't feel youthful, I feel like I'm drained and stretched thin, nothing good about me is left, but i want to live. I want to grow old and i want to have kids, y'know, i want to experience life. Me and the guys are just starting- we could be something someday. 

But i'm so busy tearing myself apart I just don't know if i can take it. My head's spinning with all the possibilities of life and death and us. I didn't mean to be so close to you, and don't think i regret it or anything, but when I found you, MIkey, I wasn't even looking for a friend, I was looking for someone to listen to all my troubles. Sure, you do that, but us being together in this sense of romance and love- this feels like obligation, our interactions feel forced. Kisses aren't what they're supposed to be, they feel like prescribed pills that we have to take in assigned doses every day, but all the pills i take make me feel fake, and i don't want that for us. I want love that has me on the tip of my toes, not teetering on the edge of taking my life, but it's not your fault. You fell in love with a monster."

Mikey stared off into the distance, not focusing, zoning out Pete's words rattling in his head of all the things they're not and all the things they could be. They weren't in love, that wasn't them and mikey knew it from day one. He knew they couldn't be together. they worked in theory, but this practice wasn't ever going to make them good enough for the real thing.

"These are just words to me," Mikey whispered back into the void of darkness.