In the sidelines

Separated

CAY'S POV

Makuha mo pa kayang

Ako'y hagkan at yakapin, hmm

Hanggang pagtanda natin

Nagtatanong lang sa 'yo

Ako pa kaya'y ibigin mo

Kahit maputi na ang buhok ko...

Pagdating ng araw

Ang 'yong buhok ay puputi na rin

Sabay tayong mangangarap

Nang nakaraan sa 'tin

I am currently blasting my Soapdish album on my iphone while waiting for LA to finish his theraphy. It has been one week since I last saw and talked to Jeric.. I have been successful in avoiding him by not replying to his tweets, text messages and ignoring his calls. Even though it kills me. And it has been one week na I was constantly with LA. I literally did not left his side, kapag may class lang or inaayos lang for Med school enrollment. Ever since he was awake, we were okay... Or at least trying to be okay.

....flashback...

As i entered LA's room, I immediately sat beside his bed, held his hands as if my life depended on it and rested my head above it. I feel extremely tired kahit ang ginawa ko lang was to attend briefing for our graduation and then ayusin yung papers ko for UST Med. This past few days were a little longer than the usual, a little drag and a little boring that is. Was it because I was avoiding Jeric? Wag naman sana. Kamusta na kaya yung instik na yun? As promised, I watched the last two games of ROS vs San Mig and I never felt more proud of him. He already knows how to block shots of his basketball idols, trash talk and even use his body to play defense. Although he has limited minutes parin, I was glad na he has shown his skills and repaid Coach Yeng's trust to him. My little tiger is now a full- pledged pro basketball player. A tear fell from my eyes again.. Kung dati, I was there nung binubuo ni Jeric yung dream niya, and now na he's there, doon pa ako nawala. Stop that Cay, be strong.

I was shocked to feel LA's hands move.

I immediately lift my head from the bed and was surprised and happy to find LA trying to open his eyes and starting to move his hands. I called the nurse and waited for doctor to check him. While he was being examined by the doctor, I immediately called Anton and Tita Ana, his mom, to tell the good news. Umuwi kasi sila because I insisted na ako na lang mag- isa ang mag- bantay para makapag- pahinga sila. When Luigi told me the story of why LA was drunk driving the night of the accident, guilt and shame came over me. The only man who fought for me, stayed despite all my imperfections, the man who loved me during my worst days was in this bed because of me... Because I chose to hurt him. Since that night, my daily routine included talking to him telling him how my day was, asking him to wake up from his deep slumber, saying sorry a million times, promising that I'll never leave him again... which would all end with me crying. Hindi naman kasi siya sumasagot. And now that he is awake, I know I should be here.. because this is what is right. LA and Cay together... And Jeric as the besttfriend.

Doc: Iha, ikaw ba si Isabelle? Luis is looking for you. I'll run more tests tomorrow and talk to his mom for his theraphy. So for now, ikaw muna yung bantay sa kanya. Just ask for me at the nurse's station if something comes up.

This is it. Cay, eto yung tama. It would hurt, but it is temporary kind of pain. Mawalan ka man ng bestfriend for now, I'm sure Jeric will understand it in the future. It is for everybody's sake.. For everybody's peace of mind and happiness. This is were you SHOULD be. I gathered myself and took all the courage I have as I entered the room.. Wishing he is not mad at me. I was shocked but happy to see LA greet me with a warm smile... A sad smile that is.