The Turn Around.

The Real Guy.

It was the day before my birthday when I met Ben. I sort of see him as God's birthday gift to me.

He came to my youth group and gave his testimony.

At this time, I pretty much believed the God hated me, and so he cursed me with all this misfortune.

I had a REALLY bad attitude about Christians, because at the particular church I was at, all the girls looked, talked, acted, dressed, and carried themselves in the EXACT same way. They all seemed so fake..

I just never fit in with them.

So naturally the freaky emo girl was rejected by them. And sort of bullied.

I only attended youth group because my mom made me.

Anyway, on this particular day, Ben had come to give his testimony.

He told everyone all these stories of his former self,

How his dad died,

He joined a gang,

He became a drug dealer,

He should've been in jail,

and more equalling scary things.

Then he told us about how he found God.

LITERALLY, when he found God, he was lieing on the floor for 4+ hours being electricuted over his entire body.

That might sound crazy but I believe every single word of it. I have even heard similar stories from other people's salvation experiences.

Anyway, I could tell that this guy, (unlike the rest of the people in my church) was the real deal. And it sparked my interest.

Ben started a prayer meeting at our church that met an hour before youth group.

I actually enjoyed his prayer meeting alot, even though I was still struggling with cutting and suicide and the distorted image in my mind that God hated me.

After Ben and I got to know each other a little better, and I had gained a certain respect for him, and trusted him, I told him about my struggles.

Never once did that man judge me, or ridicule me.

He just listened, and he put his arm around me, and he comforted me.

The night I told him I decided to talk to God for the first time, in a LONG time.