The Twitter Scandal - Jauregui

IX

l a u r e n ' s p e r s p e c t i v e

I heard her seatbelt click as it came off — I didn't look at her, I didn't speak to her. She grabbed her sunglasses from inside the cupboard in the car and sighed before opening the door. I struggled trying to to look at her "bye," she whispered and leaned over to kiss me in the cheek — but before her lips could brush my face I leaned away "just go." I said and with that she left slamming the car door.

I felt a tear stream down my left cheek and another filled with guilt and regret in the other. I looked at the glove box for a second knowing what was inside.

Instantly I opened the glove box and pulled out a half filled bottle of tequila. Not even caring I untwist the cap and lift it to my mouth — more tears streaming down my face as the tequila burned down my throat. I put it in between my thighs and began to drive, at first I didn't know where but then it hit me. "Open up its Lauren," I said knocking on the door after the guess let me in. "Why are you here?!" Y/N said from a speaker next to her doorbell. I pressed the button down — "please..." I whispered for some reason.

I heard the door open in front of me and I took a step back.

"What are you doing here?" She said and I just walked inside her house — "I'm sorry," I said my words almost slurring towards the end. "Can I come in?" I think I asked as I pushed through her and went inside her house "hey!" I though wrong...

"I-I'm sorry..." I said again the word began to lose meaning every time — "where's Lucy? I'm calling her," she pulled out her phone and I shook my head "don't!" I said overly aggressive, i tried to reach for her phone but her hand caught my wrist, I don't know why but I began to break down — it wasn't because it hurt me — it wasn't because the way she glared at me angrily as she held my wrist, and it definitely wasn't because she was calling Lucy.

"I'm sor—"

She cut me off "stop apologizing for fucks sake, what the hell is wrong with you," she let go and looked at me. I couldn't look at her back, I tried but failed, she sniffled deeply "are you fucking drunk?" She said and I looked up at her this time "no." I lied but it's okay because she knew. "I'm sorry!" I did it again.

"I said stop, Lauren." She left me standing there crying — I felt so embarrassed I tried to wipe my tears away but it wouldn't hide the shame. She returned with a water bottle "what's wrong?" She said gesturing to sit on the couch, and I did. "Everything." I said softly — "you look like a mess." She said and I laughed slightly — "no shit." I said as I took a cracked open the water bottle and took a sip.

"Like this whole shit with Lucy..." She sighed.

"What's going on between you two?" She crossed her arms and laid back on the couch her attention still completely on me. "She's just been a—" I tried to find the right words to describe her actions but "bitch" found its way through my voice. "Lucy and I's relationship is so complicated and I don't fucking want it to be complicated." Y/N looked at me "so you were a thing." She noted in her mind "is this because you didn't want to be outed?" She asked and I shook my head with a smile "it's the other way actually," I said taking another sip from my water. "Ah...so all those paparazzi and the cameras and talk got to her?" She said it as if she had already known yet she hasn't.

"Yes!" I said a little too loudly.

"But she's out now right? So why doesn't she want to be with you?" She asked and that made me go silent for a while until I figured out how to answer that question. "She told her mom that she had a little too much to drink and asked me to tell the media the same shit and after the whole fiasco she just didn't speak to me." I paused. "But almost like 3 months ago we started to talk again as friends and just two weeks ago I told her I want to fix things and she said to give her some time." I explained almost all in one breath. "Then when I bring it up again she told me she never believed in second chances. And just today when we were leaving your house she brought up the fact about how you're giving Kendall a second chance, and I told her that I thought she didn't believe in them." Y/N cut me off "second chances aren't easy but it sounds like she doesn't want her parents to know if she's gay or not, be ashes from what I'm hearing it sounds like she confused or maybe still questioning her sexuality. You need to listen to her give her more time. She's struggling right now. Let her figure herself out." She said almost as if she was a shrink but it helped, her advice actually made me feel less tense about this situation I just wish Lucy and I were on the same page again.

"Thanks y/n," I said my elbow resting on my thigh and my head resting in my fist. "My head really hurts right now..." I said as my head spinned. "Do you want some Advil or Tylenol?" She asked and I nodded "Tylenol please." She stood up and I stared at her walking away, my eyes fixed on her body shape — its was perfect. "Here," she passed me two tablets — I looked down at them before opening my bottle again — as I took the first one she put her hand on my shoulder "don't worry, you and Lucy will be fine." She said and I swallowed the last pill. "Hopefully..." I said after closing my water bottle, her hand was still on my shoulder.

I glanced at it for a second before looking back at her eyes, her eyes were fixed on my lips but as I caught her staring she looked away in guilt retracting her hand with her. It was awkward for a few seconds. I looked at her again this time to see if she was looking at me but she wasn't, then she did her eyes met mine — I don't know why I felt so nervous all of the sudden but that's when I leaned in and almost the entire way but her lips met mine 20% of the way. That's when they crashed softly into each others meeting for the first time — I didn't want to pull away but I couldn't say the same for her. She pulled away her eyes filled with confusion and almost pity as if she had done it out of charity or because she didn't want to lose me as a friend. That when I huffed from my nose with a smile on my face, "why did you lean in if you didn't want me to kiss you?"

I blurted out.

"Lauren — I..." She paused and I stood up "don't talk to me, I'm so tired of mixed signals I can't right now." I wanted her to stand up and follow me out the door but that didn't happen — as I made my way to the door she said "wait." I almost smiled until she said the next words "your bottle." She stood up with the bottle in her hand walking up to me "whatever." I took it and opened the door only for it to be slammed in front of me by y/n. She pushed me up against it and kissed me, I didn't have time to react but I kissed back. Her hands trailing on my waist and my arms wrapping against her neck.

I'd say it was my fault but I'm just going to blame it on the alcohol.