The Forbidden Manual// Denis Stoff

t h i r t y - f i v e

"Don't worry about it, Kena", she said to me. "Show that you are mature, you know how to overcome this, maybe I am wrong and this is nothing more than a passing love, you know, those that they call "summer love", she air-quoted once again, "instead of being summer i'd be winter", she said and laughed lowly, celebrating her small joke.

"Well, I hope you are wrong", I muttered.

She laughed.

"Kenadee, I am not going to tell you what you feel, do you love him? Only you could answer that", she advised.

"Thanks".

The afternoon flew by, and ever since I had made my way back to the apartment after getting coffee with Ferni, I stayed sprawled over the couch staring at the living room ceiling. I loved him? How can it be possible to love someone in...a month? A month had passed, or it was about to be a month, I didn't have the exact count of the days, but, I am not a person who can love in a blink of an eye. However I must admit Denis had gained my trust,  affection and kindness in less than a week . He was so...special. Like a raw diamond inside a mine, that even though the light of the sun didn't shine over it , it shined a powerful radiance. Would Dasha notice? Is she aware of what she really has with her? My heart hurt as it beat, I shouldn't think of that. I contemplated  a while longer, speculating and sinking into my thoughts, that were the most coherent and reasonable, to the most dark and illogical. Until the doorbell rung, and all the reflecting went down when my heart started beating  in a decomposed matter expecting what was on the other side. And the pleasure of that beating was so intense that...it resulted painful. Then I understood that I loved him. And if not, I would end up doing it sooner or later; but I was almost convinced that what I felt was far from simply loving, this hurt very much but...I liked it.

It was when the doorbell rung again, insistently with a couple knocks on the door, when I remembered Denis was behind the door. And I finally I got up to open it.

Spending time with him was like never having conscious of the time, to not think or worry about anything, feeling secure and always laughing, even though I knew that was bad. But when I saw him next to me, on the couch, moving his pink lips when he spoke with enthusiasm to then laugh with a distant melody in every laugh; showing his pearly whites; he would make me fly and touch the sky without leaving my feet from the ground. 

But my time would reduce to nothing when Dasha would arrive and there was nothing left but to smile and walk back to my bedroom and say goodnight before disappearing after the door and sighing behind it.

I threw myself over the bed, how I always did, looking up at the ceiling that now knew perfectly. I found it ironic on how others would make me aware of my feelings, if I liked him, if I was jealous, if I loved him. Its cause I was really dumb? But more of my emotional problems  that I'm unable to notice, there was another one even bigger to discover. Dasha. I could hurt her more than I was hurting myself right now, she was so fragile and I had become the witch in her fairy tale; at least that's how I felt.

The next day was very odd, because I had the strange need to be with him. I wished of the night to fall so I could see him, my soul yearned for him. I decided to distract myself with any other thing, since this wasn't helping my plan of "ignoring Denis" when yesterday I didn't dare hold our gaze for more than ten seconds. This wasn't working. I looked out the window and watched the cars ride along the narrow street. I went to my bedroom for my camera and returned to the window to capture the scene I liked the most, I took a couple of photographs until the doorbell rung.

I strangely looked at the clock, that marked six fifteen in the afternoon, who could it be at this hour? I went to open the door without leaving my camera and I was surprised at what I saw. It was Denis who smiled  brightly and making my heart beat in a rushed manner against my chest. His presence made me look once again to the clock, wasn't it to early for him to be here? Maybe it was just an illusion from my brain and I was imagining him standing there, he looked so radiant but...he always looked like that.

"What are you doing here so early?", I asked, letting him in.

"Well, I came to invite you somewhere", he said, without leaving that charming smile.

"Me? Where?", my heart got excited and it couldn't help bounce against my chest.

"It's a surprise. Come on", he grabbed my hand and at the instant my skin burned with just his touch.

"but...".

"It is like of way of saying "I'm sorry" for the other day", he muttered. He saw my camera in my hand and he rushed to say. "It'll be a nice place for you to take photos", he cheered me on, knowing I would never deny an opportunity to capture marvelous places with my camera; but what else can I do, I would accept simply cause he was inviting me.

"Alright, even though I had already told you about our little  discussion was forgiven since you don't really have to apologize", I admitted.

"Don't say that, lets go".

He let go of my hand to give me the opportunity  to grab my jacket and bag to put my camera in and with him, I left the apartment to his car.

"You will love it", he said, while he drove through the streets of Venus.

I looked at him, and he smiled, I sighed.

"What?", he asked, visibly blushed.

I didn't say anything, I took out my camera and took a picture of his profile, a perfect pose of a magazine model, even though he put no effort.

"Hey!", he laughed, self consciously. "If you're going to do that, warn me", he joked.

"Nonsense, if you're aware or not, it comes out great", I admitted, with a strange need to fight for him against...my best friend.

"Thanks", he lowered his head slightly, and I know enough to know he was doing this because he was blushing.

That I loved and was fascinated by it. Him blushing because of me.

____________________________________

now now, no need to make me a tape.

it has been a while now hasn't it?

i would apologize but i am not going to lie here, i have been avoiding translating this due to tiredness and laziness. and until today i pushed myself for you guys.

school is almost over, i will be busy but boy am i planning on putting effort to finish what i have started.

btw i would like to say, i tend to write small stories sometimes when they come out of nowhere, i wrote a very small one recently and im posting it on here after this chapter, i would appreciate your opinion on it and also ideas. kind of want to write another story since its been a  l o n g  time.