The Forbidden Manual// Denis Stoff

s i x t y - s i x

In the afternoon I talked with Fernie and told her the good news, avoiding of course, the plan underneath. Besides she made it very easy for me, not trying to talk about Denis too. She told me about how good her relationship with Chris was going and that he sent his greetings, then some trivial things that took place in the conversation.

I had to maintain the farce, making the people around me believe that this was not for me but the pleasure of good work being rewarded and not a hope for my madness

Tuesday came promptly, despite my frenzy for time. I watched how they fixed the photographs on the wall, trying to find the way to make them look elegant and perfect. But for me they already were. I bit my lower lip nervously and then noticed Kellin talking with Blade in the other corner, while he showed him some papers and the old man nodded.

There was less than a few hours for the doors to open and the people to come in. I put my attention to the left side from where I was standing and looked at the waiters fix some appetizers in different trays to serve. Despite that everything was a different situation from the other, my mind did not stop flying to one thing with a name of its own.

Not that I had the hope that he would appear, right here. But at least look for me later on, that he should know I was close by here, for him to know I needed him. I saw Kellin come towards me and I gave him a nervous smile.

"Everything will start in a moment, are you ready?" He asked and not letting me answer he added: "There's lot of people that wish to enter'".

"I'm nervous, it's the thing I have wanted the most since I started working in this and now here I am".

"Dreams come true", he smiled, "Or do you doubt it?"

"I'll answer that later. What did Blade tell you?" I asked, when I saw him enter through the revolving door, aside from wanting to change topic.

"Oh, he has to go, but he told me to give him a report on how everything comes to be. He too is excited and anxious. Oh, and he wants you to try the appetizers".

"Blade wants that?", I said, strangely.

"No, in reality the one who wants that is me, relax, Kenadee. Come on", he took me by the arm and dragged me to where the waiters fixed the trays.

I nibbled with anxiety a pair of appetizers that quickly appeared in my throat as I swallowed.

Soon the time came, the clock marked ten in the morning and February first, the doors opened and people began to enter, turning their head towards every photo and walking towards them. I turned around and closed my eyes, heading to sit somewhere else because I didn't want to see peoples faces as they looked at the photos, not wanting to know what they thought of them, what crossed their minds. In that moment I regretted having said that.

That's how fourty minutes went by of the two hours that were of the exhibit. Forty long and torturous minutes of seeing -even though I did not want to and done everything to avoid it- the peoples faces that smiled and moved their heads in assent and fascination as they contemplated the photographs that had been taken by me. "Manuale del Proibito" was being a success that people liked it for finding inspiration in those black and white images.

Someone touched my shoulder and my heart stopped for a second. I turned on my heel and a girl with big grey eyes smiled at me. My heart continued its rhythm, disappointed.

"Excuse me, are you the author?" She asked, while with the other hand she held a small notepad.

"Yes you could call it that, yes", I returned the smile she had given me before.

"Hi, I'm Natalie Robertson and I work for the local newspaper", she offered me her hand in greeting of presentation and I took it. "You must be feeling proud that your photographs are fascinating everyone who walks through that door and sees them, it is?"

"Well, Thank you", I said, timidly.

"Personally I have loved it, but could you tell me, why the title? What does it mean? If I am not wrong it's italian, correct?"

"It is. It means, Forbidden Manual", I said, suddenly feeling uncomfortable, having not visualized this plan.

"And, why?", she insisted.

"Well...", I stuttered, I wasn't going to give her an extensive explanation nor tell her my life, I only said the first thing that came to my mind when thinking of Denis, "Have you ever desired something forbidden? Like if that thing was on the list of "Do not touch" but every moment incites you more and more to...have it".

She looked around after what I had said and quickly looked at all the photographs. Then she smiled.

"I understand", she said. "Your set of photographs form a manual of one thing forbidden, correct?"

I opened my eyes in surprise that she had actually understood.

"It is", I said.

"Thanks for answering my question", she smiled and once again gave me her hand. "It has been a pleasure to meet you".

"Likewise", I answered and then saw her walk away making notes in her pad.

I stayed standing in the same spot for a few minutes, watching where the girl had walked off to and then gave the air a sigh.

"Penso di essere quello proibito nel manuale"

My heart beating with devastating force and then collapsed suddenly in theatrical form. I turned disorientated finally finding the owner of the voice, without knowing if it was a fantasy in my head or a hallucination in my mind.

But there he was, including more beautiful than the projection in my head, smiling at me nervously. It was him! My legs lost balance and trembled, I stayed static. I took my hand to my chest, just to confirm that my heart was beating, because I had felt it had exploded inside. I didn't notice the exact moment my tears overflowed, since my vision had clouded and everything became blurry silhouettes. Was I breathing? I forced myself to remember to do it, because truly the air had left my lungs; and I wiped my tears, hoping my vision would clear. Then I saw him again, his beautiful face seemed worried and the unrest was painted on everyone of his fraccions.

"Denis Stoff?" The feminine voice of a girl cut the scene but I didn't look away Denis, of fear that he would disappear like if he had been a hallucination.

Denis looked at the girl and his eyes opened wide, giving off an unknown glare.

"Kristen", He muttered, surprised.

And that's it, I lost conscience because I could no resist having jelly feet and I couldn't force myself to breathe. Did I fall to the ground? Or did someone hold me? Who cares, I couldn't tell what was going on.

I just thought you guys might want some more to read before the grande finale