The Forest (Serious Talk)
Despite Dans continuous denial in telling Phil what he was getting so worked up about, Phil, being the determined and stubborn person that he was, didn't stop questioning Dan, finally pushing him to the edge. By this time, the group had been wandering around the woods for a little while, and without them noticing, Dan and Phil had been separated from the group.
"Daniel! Come on, you can trust me!" Phil continued pressuring him, becoming more desperate (therefore pushy and very annoying) by the second.
"Can I though, Phil? Can I? How do I know you're not just using me, like everyone else has? How do I even know what a real friend is? Dan suddenly burst out, exasperated and almost in tears by this time. After all the times he had been hurt, he'd slowly built up a wall, making it harder and harder for him to trust people, the whole time not even knowing that he was doing it.
Phil stopped in his tracks, dumbfounded. "D-Dan? W-what do you mean?" He asked soothingly. What in the world could have happened to this precious boy to mess him up so much? At this point, all Phil wanted to do was sit down with Dan on his lap and comfort him.
Dan shook his head and slumped down against a tree, now full on sobbing. Why did this always have to happen to him? Why did he always have to mess it up? All the emotions he had been holding back now suddenly came flooding in, and Phil just happened to be in the way when the dam broke.
Phil sat down next to Dan, not quite sure what to do. "Hey, it's okay, you'll be fine." He assured him, shuffling over so he was closer to him. He timidly put one arm around the boys shoulder, to see how he would react, and what he did surprised even Phil. Instead of shoving his arm off like he usually did, Dan collapsed onto Phils shoulder, sobbing into his shirt.
Phil pulled him closer, rubbing Dans back, (rather awkwardly, I must admit) doing whatever he could to comfort him. "Shh, it okay now, you're safe, I'm here." Phil whispered to him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After Dan had finished sobbing his heart out and had finally gathered his bearings, he looked up at Phil. "I-I'm really sorry, y-you must think I'm some kind of immature psychopath or something." He apologized, looking down at his lap, though not moving out of Phil's embrace. He had definitely needed to let out all his feelings, he just wished it wasn't with Phil.
"Oh, Dan, no, it's okay! I don't think anything bad about you." Phil assured him, lifting up his chin so they were face to face. "Honestly, you were kind of cute." He mumbled, grinning, his cheeks starting to go rosy. Shit. I hadn't meant to say that out loud.
Dan grinned. "Really? Y-you think I'm cute?" He asked, giggling. "Even though I just practically ruined your shirt." He laughed, feeling much better now.
Phil laughed as well. "Eh, I don't really care, I have plenty of shirts." He shrugged, avoiding the first question.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dan took a deep breath, mentally preparing himself. He had been going over the scenario a hundred times I his head, but he was still terrified of the actual moment. What if Phil hated him? What if he didn't accept him? What if he was completely creeped out by him? What if he told the whole school? What if- Dan! Stop overthinking it! You're just stressing yourself out! Just say it and get it over with! He sighed, knowing that it really was best just to get it over with.
"Phil? Can I trust you?" Dan asked shakily, bracing himself for the worst.
"Yeah, why wouldn't you?" Phil responded, furrowing his brow. Why was Dan being so serious all of the sudden? Did something happen? Oh god, did I do something?
Dan sighed, closing his eyes. "You promise you won't judge me?" He asked, still not one hundred percent sure how this would go.
"Of course not. Dan, what's going on?" Phil asked, starting to get concerned.
Dan looked down at his lap. Here goes nothing. "N-nothing, it's just that," he took a deep breath, "I-I'm gay." He mumbled, before going into a panic. Oh god, what have I done? He's going to hate me now! I'm so stupid. Why? Just why? "I-I'm sorry, you probably hate me now. I never should have said anything. Why would I ever think anyone would ever like me, or even want to be my friend? I-I should leave." And with that, he stood up and walked away, praying that by the time the tears spilled over the edge he was far enough away from Phil.
//hello again! Pretty intense chapter, right? I'm not sure how much I'm in love with it, but I think it still came out pretty well. I don't really have that much to say, but in case I don't get another chapter out before it (on either of my stories, I probably won't be able to get one out on this story, but maybe on my other one) I hope you participate in the day of silence! If you don't know when or what that is, here's a link to GLSENs (pronounced glisten, the organization behind the DOS) webpage about it:
Link: https://www.glsen.org/day-of-silence
And of course, HAPPY EASTER (sorry I'm late lol) (it's only one day get over it) I hope you had an awesome day and got lots of candy!
Thanks so much for over 200 reads! I never thought that even more than 50 people would read it XD mad all the feedback has been so positive! I really appreciate it! Don't forget to vote and comment! Thanks! Enjoy!//
YOU ARE READING
And You Are? // Dan and Phil (Phan) High School AU
FanfictionPhil Lester has just transferred to a new school, and a month later, is joined by Dan Howell. The only problem? Neither of them has ever heard of the other. Will they ever become comfortable in this new environment? How about themselves? And most im...
