CORRUPTED FILE [Lumina Chronicles Past Drafts]

Level Twenty-Three: I Can't Eat My Feelings

*Kindle's PoV*

The two of us sat at the breakfast table in complete silence, Blondie frowning into her cereal. She was thinking, obviously, and I could pretty much guess what about. Tonight was the ball, when she'd be meeting prince Casimir. He was going to love her, that much was clear, and although it was stupid I found myself worrying that she would love him as well. Goodness knows I was never meant to be a prince, so how could I compete with the Casimir? He had a cereal named after him for crying out loud! And what did I have to offer, apart from an oh-so-tragic backstory? Absolutely nothing.

Still, Blondie was clearly upset, so I asked, "Is something wrong?" I'd been asking her that a lot lately, and I hoped it wasn't bothering her, but what did she expect from me after I found her crying like that the night of Faye's party? She'd told me it was nerves about the ball, but I doubted that. I let the subject go, not wanting to upset her any more, but it still bothered me. Especially since Carlyle refused to tell me anything about it.

"Nothing's wrong," Blondie said, looking up from her cereal. Her sleepy hazel eyes met my firestone ones and I relaxed a bit, though I hadn't even realized I'd been tense.

"I was just thinking," she explained, a soft smile spreading across her face. I found myself smiling back automatically.

"Fascinating! Do elaborate," I said jokingly, leaning forward in my chair with sarcastic enthusiasm.

She hesitated for a moment, seeming torn, before she said "I was just thinking that, when I first met you, I thought you were a shallow, arrogant jerk."

And I thought you were an annoying little girl with a really strong bite, but thankfully there's a lot more to you than that, I thought to myself, fighting back a laugh as I nodded. "Is there a but?" I asked, curious as to how she would finish that statement.

"I'm getting there," She laughed, seeming to have relaxed as well. "But now that I've really gotten to know you, I've realized that I must be more messed up than I thought..." She trailed off, snapping her lips closed instantly.

I raised my eyebrows at her, remaining silent in anticipation. Where are you going with this, Blondie? I knew where I wanted her to go with it, and I sincerely hoped it wasn't just wishful thinking. The month I'd spent with her seemed like forever and yet only moments at the same time, as cliché as that sounds. Sure, it was going to end tomorrow, and she knew that just as well as I did. Maybe, after realizing how little time we really had left with each other, she'd decided to tell me how she feels about me. And if Carlyle was telling the truth, she felt the same as I did. I hoped so.

"I'm more messed up than I thought..." Blondie repeated, pausing once again.

She needed to hurry up and spit it out quick, before I died of a heart attack or blurted my feelings first. Neither seemed like the greatest of options at the moment. C'mon, say it. Please just say it.

"Because you're one of the best friends I've ever had," she blurted, casting her eyes back down to her cereal. 

Friend. Who knew such a normally kind word could hurt that much? I found myself wishing for the heart attack, at that point it would have hurt less. I guess I was wrong about her then. I guess Carlyle and Faye and Serpina, who all told me that she felt the same towards me as I did toward her were wrong. I opened up to her, I allowed myself to be myself around her. I really thought we had something, but I guess it was just wishful thinking after all. Fine. If she wanted to be friends, we'd be friends. I nodded stiffly, running a hand through my hair and looking away from the girl I'd only moment earlier been ready to confess my love to. "Yeah," I said, my voice coming out harsher than I meant it. "You're a um, good friend too."