CORRUPTED FILE [Lumina Chronicles Past Drafts]

Level Thirty-Six

[KINDLE'S PoV]

Lydia returned two days later, during a storm.

Maybe she planned it that way. The weather was far too cold for me to escape to the roof, and Faye had requested time to lose herself in a new art project and recover from her encounter with Seraphim, so I was alone in my room with my thoughts and nightmares and memories when Lydia breezed in the way she always did. Like she owned everything her eyes fell on, especially me. And maybe she did.

"Tell me you missed me," she began as always. Under her heavy fur coat, she was wearing red, deep and shimmering, and I was sharply reminded of my nightmare.

"I missed you," I responded, willing my eyes to meet her despite their desperate desire to look anywhere else. She had a leather bag with her—gifts, probably. She always brought gifts when she returned from feast days in Nox. Expensive things I never had any use for or any desire to wear.

She set the bag down next to her on the bed as she kicked off her shoes and unpinned her curls. Meticulous, practiced. "Tell me you love me."

"I love you." The words always came so easily. They were just words, after all. They didn't mean anything. What was love to her, anyway? Obedience? I was always obedient if it got me venom, if it quieted the nightmares and the guilt for a few hours.

It had been days since my last dose. My muscles and head were aching, and my thoughts were erratic. There was a reason for me to be on alert. There was something I was expecting punishment for, wasn't there? Now that Lydia was in the room, and I could smell that sickeningly sweet floral scent that always traveled with her, venom was all I could think about.

"Say it again," she pleaded, her gaze intent on mine.

"I love you." The words could have been coming from someone else entirely for how little they resonated. My body moved on its own, opening my arms to her. Venom was next, and then I could get my first decent sleep in a week.

She smiled and wiggled her way into my embrace. Her skin was ice against mine. She was always cold, fairies just were compared to dragons, but her time outside made her even colder. And that was enough to jolt me to my senses.

"Is this the first stop you've made since returning to the manor?" I asked, careful not to sound too interested. Careful not to seem too eager to remove myself from her touch.

"Yes, I was so woozy on the carriage ride, and I just wanted to see you," she purred. "Tell me, what did you do while I was gone?"

"Nothing," I answered. It sounded guilty, but it was true in a way. What, really, had I accomplished in her absence? Seraphim was still under her control. Faye was still beaten down. The Order was no closer to being free.

She nestled her head into the crook of my neck, exhaling contentedly. "Did you dream about me?"

I stared at the far wall. "Always."

Her icy fingers trailed under my shirt, up my chest, and maybe she mistook my shudders for something of pleasure, because she giggled. "Kiss me," she ordered, her free hand tearing roughly at my hair.

I did, but it was just a kiss. Lips, breath, no venom. No numbing rush of oblivion. I kissed her again, harder, angry, thinking maybe I could force it out of her. All she did was wrap her arms around my neck and pull herself fully into my lap, chest to chest.

I pulled back with a growl of annoyance. "Lydia."

Her eyes were sharp when they met mine. "No. I want you alert. I want you looking at me, and saying my name. If you can be a good boy and do that, then I'll give you venom afterwards." Her nails trailed down my cheek and dug in as she gripped my face. "I don't want your thoughts wandering anywhere else, my love."