✓ | falling ➝ j. cade

viii. old folks home

❝I THINK I'M FALLING. I'M FALLING FOR YOU ON THIS NIGHT AND IN THIS LIGHT. I THINK I'M FALLING.❞
- THE 1975, FALLINGFORYOU

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Theodosia walked home that night in a daze. Johnny had walked her home, of course, but neither said much. They hadn't even glanced at their copy of Romeo and Juliet that night. She had asked him to go with her to the old folks home on Saturday. Johnny had mentioned that he hadn't been in years, so Theodosia sprung the invite on him without even thinking twice about it. Reluctantly, he had agreed. Maybe it wasn't as bad as he remembered it, or so the Greaser hoped. Johnny quickly realized he had a hard time saying no to her.

So, that night after wishing her mother a good night, Theodosia walked up into the confinements of her bedroom. It was small, only her bed, a nightstand, and a bookcase to be seen. The walls were covered in pictures of her friends and family. There were numerous photographs of her and Alexander. Some of her with her nieces and nephews. But the most were of her and her friends from Indiana. Since she only saw them a month out of the year, Theodosia took a lot of pictures of them together. Part of her wanted to take them down as it was almost too painful to see Thalia Jefferson's face. In every picture Theodosia had of her, she seemed so happy and full of life. Clearly, though, she hadn't been. It was a hard thing to think about, someone who was family to Theodosia suffering so greatly, and she didn't even notice. She didn't know if she'd ever forgive herself for that. Theodosia couldn't imagine the burden her friends back in Indiana felt as they had saw Thalia everyday and were supposed to see the changes in her person.

Pushing the thoughts away before they became too much, Theodosia opened her closet door to find herself some pajamas. Instead, she found Alexander's old leather jacket. Her breath hitched in her throat. After all this time, it was still hard to look at. With trembling hands, Theodosia reached out and grabbed it. The leather felt cool against Theodosia's finger tips. At the touch, she could almost hear Alexander's voice as he had smiled down at his then eleven-year-old sister.

Hesitantly, Theodosia slipped on the jacket. It fit her now. When she had last worn it, the sleeves fell far past her finger tips. It had been far too big, but she hadn't minded as she looked up at her big brother with a toothy grin. Theodosia closed her eyes, pressure building behind them.

"One day, you'll blow us all away, Theo. You're gonna do great things."

And like that, the dam burst.

Theodosia pressed a hand against her mouth, trying to muffle the sob that had inevitably escaped her mouth. She never cried much. She never had, even as a child. But every now and again, something inside Theodosia would break and it all would come rushing back to the surface.

Sinking to her knees, silently sobbing, Theodosia whispered to herself,"Damn it, Alex. Why'd you react? Why'd you kill him?"

Apart of Theodosia had always felt cheated because of her brother's mistake. He should've been there to play baseball with James and his younger brother, Eddie. They would've been best friends, Alexander and the Lewis brothers. And Alexander should've been there to go after Markus when he hit Theodosia. Alexander should've been there that night to interrogate Johnny even though Theodosia and Johnny weren't together. And Theodosia would've said that, telling her overprotective brother to lay off and that Johnny was a good guy.

Damn, it should've happened like that. Alexander should've been there. His older brother instincts should've taken over and made him try to intimidate the Greaser. Alexander would've intervened between the two, but Theodosia wouldn't have let Alexander go too far. (The one time she didn't, it all went to hell.). It shouldn't have been just Theodosia and Johnny both wearing sheepish smiles before departing that night. Alexander should've been there.