✓ | falling ➝ j. cade

xi. one's breaking point

❝SEE, I NEED YOU, AND SOMETIMES WE NEED TO SHED OUR FACADES AND BE JUST WHO WE ARE, ALL BROKEN AND TORN.❞
- ALESSIA CARA, STARS

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James looked over his shoulder at his best friend. Her arms were folded over her books, pressing them closer to her chest. Her expression reminded James of one of a scared child.

He stepped down the steps of the porch down to Theodosia. He hadn't seen Theodosia look so scared since the night she came to James about Markus. He had nearly shattered Markus's jaw that night.

"Theo?" James asked in a quiet, gentle voice.

"What's wrong with me?"

"What? Theo, nothing! Is this about Johnny or something?"

Theodosia shook her head violently."No! I don't know. Maybe."

"I don't follow," James said calmly, furrowing his brows.

"Me neither."

In a way, James knew what this was about. He knew Theodosia like the back of his hand. She felt too violently and thought too much. Her brain reminded James a little bit of a machine whose gears worked against it, spinning in the wrong direction and causing a malfunction.

But lately, Theodosia had reminded James of a ticking time bomb. He knew it was a matter of time before she detonated. Originally, James had been scared of Johnny causing her to detonate, hence why he tried so hard to keep them apart. Maybe that was the wrong move, seeing how much happier she had been lately. But now, James was scared that Theodosia was going to detonate anyway. Maybe it was inevitable.

"Can we go inside?" Theodosia asked in a small voice.

James nodded."Yeah, yeah."

Tentatively, James watched Theodosia as she walked in front of him into her house. He followed close behind her. He kept his eyes on Theodosia even as she sat down on the couch, sitting rigid with her eyes glued to her shoes. James took a seat next to Theodosia.

"What's wrong with me?" Theodosia repeated, her voice stronger this time.

"Nothing, Theo. What gave you the idea that something was?" James asked.

Theodosia took a shaky breath and broke. She had finally hit her breaking point. James wrapped his arm around her as she furiously wiped tears off her cheeks. It was an unusual sight. Theodosia rarely showed how violently she felt. In fact, the last time James had been in this situation with her, James had been the one on the brink of hysterics. He had walked in on his mother's affair that inevitably lead to the demise of his parents' marriage. And Theodosia was the only person who James could think of that would keep him under control and less likely to hurt someone. (Sometimes, James still found himself hating his mother for hurting his family but mostly for hurting his father. He had created a coping mechanism of pushing it out of his mind.).

"Because I never seem to be good enough to make anyone stay!" Theodosia choked out.

"You have me. I'm here," James said, positioning Theodosia to where she could see him."You have me."

"But for how much longer, James?" Theodosia said desperately, tears continuing to slide down her cheeks.

James faltered, not being able to give her an answer. Life could pull them both in different directions at any moment. They both knew that. He couldn't promise her anything, and that broke James's heart because he wanted so much to be something constant for her. Theodosia needed something constant, but James knew he could not promise himself to be that. Life was too unpredictable.