The Help // Ed Sheeran

Chapter 17 : Patience Is A Virtue, But I'm Not A Saint

We finished rinsing off, dried up, got dressed, and went downstairs for an afternoon snack. I made light sandwiches for Ed and I then we sat on the sofa eating our food and researching local fertility specialists. We picked one that had really good reviews and called to ask about their privacy policies, they seemed to have a great system in place that allowed you to act as with the same rights as an anonymous client.

After the phone call Ed and I began to discuss things, "Ok Ed, I need to tell you something." Ed looks up at me with a serious face and nods, "Anything Nic." I give a small smile and breathe in deep, "Well I had a lot of health issues after giving birth and I just want you to know that getting pregnant might not be easy or maybe even natural in my case."

Ed's brows went together and he shrugged "What do you mean natural?" I sigh placing my hand on his thigh "It might involve in vitro. I'm sorry, I didnt know how to tell you because I was scared you wouldn't love me anymore if its so hard to give you the one thing you want most, but I'm willing if you are." Ed takes my face in his hands and shakes his head, "I'd never not love you for that, it will still be our baby, and you will still carry it, correct?" I nod "Yes, it will just be made in a lab but it will be ours."

Ed nods and kisses my forehead smiling "Then we'll just practice extra hard before it happens." I laugh at him rolling my eyes, "You're sure you're not mad Eddie?" "Oh baby, I promise. Our babies will still be made out of love and we'll still love them as unconditionally as our current little crazies." I look up at Ed rubbing his cheek "You just said our current." A smile crosses his face as he recalls "Well yes, I reckon I did. I love them Nic, I feel like they are mine, and I'm going to love these next babies the same as I love them."

I place a hand on each of his cheeks and cradle his face as I begin to place soft kisses across his face, ensuring no skin goes unkissed. The freckles on his eyelids, the birthmark in the corner of his eye, the wide bridge of his perfect nose, the peaks of his top lip, the dimple in his chin, the scar upon his cheek, and everywhere in between. "You, Edward, are the most amazing, selfless, absolutely beautiful inside and out, thoughtful, loving human being I have ever met and I love you so much that I don't think I could ever stop. I don't want to ever stop either."

Ed kissed me with a wide smile and laughed "Good because you're stuck with me baby, for good, whether you like it or not." I nod smiling then stop to look at him "Ed, you said 'babies' multiple times. How many are we talking here?" He laughs rubbing my hand "Dont worry, not like 10 or anything. Definitely two, possibly three." I raise my eyebrows at him shaking my head "Its going to be a fucking mad house Eddie." "I know, its going to be hard at times, but we have each other and we're going to be so fucking happy Nic. I'm going to make sure you guys are happy for the rest of our lives."

I kiss Ed once more savoring the taste of his tongue, the feel of his soft pliable lips against mine, the satisfaction his small moans and sighs bring, the curls of his hair wrapped around my fingers, the safeness of his hands and arms around my body, and the warmth that radiated to my entite body from his. The feeling you get in moments like this is blissful, people say its hard to explain but it isn't. Do you remember being a little girl and watching Cinderella? Remember when she was absolutely stupidly happy singing 'So this is love? Hmmm mmm hmmm.' That is exactly how this feels.

I call the clinic back to inquire about appointment availability and they happen to have something for the day after tomorrow so we book it before we have to get the children. Ed is bursting at the seams as he drives to the school holding my hand and kissing it every few minutes. "Baby we should transfer the kids to the school in Suffolk so you don't have to go back and forth to London every day." I nod "How about after this coming holiday I will change them." Ed nods as we pull up to get the kids.