Everything Wrong With: My Immortal

Chapters 21-30

Chapter 21

"WHOSE THERE!" he shouted angrily. We saw Filth come. He went unda da invisibility cloke and started to meow loudly.

If Filch changed his name to Mr Norris upon marrying his cat, would that mean Mrs Norris also changed her name to Filth? OMIGOD, THAT'S EVEN CUTER. Remove another two sins! *!gniᗡ* *!gniᗡ*

"EXCUS ME! EXCUS ME WHO SED DAT!" yelled Mr. Norris. Den he heard Filch meow. "Filth is der any1 unda da cloak!" he asked. Filth nodded. And then….Vampir frenched me! He did it jus as….. Mr. Norris was taking of da cloak!1

How the heck am I supposed to pronounce "â¦" for my dramatic reading?!? *Ding!*

"I guess though." Draco weeped. We went back to our coffins frenching each other. Draco and I decided to watch Lake Placid (c isnt da deprezzin) on the gothic red bed together. As I wuz about 2 put in the video, my eyes rolled up and suddenly I had a vision of something that was happening now. There was a knok on the door and Fug and da Mystery of Magic walked into the school!1

'Deprezzin' is a word that shouldn't exist, not here, not anywhere. *Ding!*

Chapter 22

Standing in front of me where.... B;loody Mary, Vampire, Diabolo, Draco, Dracula and Willow!

The grammar nazi in me would like to point out that that's not how you use a semicolon; this is. *Ding!*

Darkness (who is Jenny) was there too. She was weaving a ripped gothic black dress with ripped stuff all over it and a lace-up top thing and black pointy boots. So were Crab and Goyle. It turns out that Darkness, Diabolo, Crab and Goyle's dad was a vampire. He committed suicide by slitting his wrists with a razor. He had raped them and stuff before too. They all got so depressed that they became goffik and converted to Stanism.

"They've got Ginny!" *Ding!*

"Enoby something is really fucked up." Draco said.

That line is My Immortal in a nutshell. *Ding!*

So I just put on some black eyeliner, black lipstick and red eyeshadow and white foundation. Then I came. We all went outside the Great Hal and looked in from a widow. A fucking prep called Britney from Griffindoor was standing next to us. She was wearing a pink mini and a Hilary Duff t-shirt so we put up our middle fingers at her. Inside the Great Hall we could see Dumbledork. Cornelia Fudged was there shouting at Dumbledore. Doris Rumbridge was there too.

Dolores Umbridge isn't giving Ebony detention in this scene. *Ding!*

"YOU ARE NOT FIT TO BE THE PRINCIPAL ANY LONGER!" yelled Rumbridge. "YOU ARE TOO OLD AND YOUR ALZHEIMERS IS DANGEROUS! YOU MUST RETRY OR VOLDEMORT WILL KILL YOUR STUDENTS!"

"Very well." Dumbledore said angrily. "Butt we cannot do this. We can't close the school. There is only one person who is capable of killing Voldemort and she is in the school. And her name is.....Enony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way."