Chapter 11
AN: i sed stup flaming up prepz! c if dis chaptr is srupid!1111 it delz wit rly sris issus! sp c 4 urself if itz ztupid brw fangz 2 ma frend raven 4 hleping me!
I can't even read this sentence. Thanks @LovelyWhovian for the translation. *Ding!*
"NO!" I screamed. I was horrorfied! B'loody Mary tried to comfort me but I told her fuck off and I ran to my room crying myself. Dumbledore chased after me shouting but he had to stop when I went into my room cause he would look like a perv that way.
Anyway, I started crying tears of blood and then I slit both of my wrists. They got all over my clothes so I took them off and jumped into the bath angrily while I put on a Linkin Park song at full volume. I grabbed a steak and almost stuck it into my heart to commit suicide. I was so fucking depressed! I got out of the bathtub and put on a black low-cut dress with lace all over it sandly. I put on black high heels with pink metal stuff on the ends and six pairs of skull earrings. I couldn't fucking believe it. Then I looked out the window and screamed... Snap was spying on me and he was taking a video tape of me! And Loopin was masticating to it! They were sitting on their broomsticks.
Oh boy, where do I begin?
Tears of blood. *Ding!*
'Star-crossed lover commits suicide because she believes her boyfriend is dead but he's not actually dead' cliche. *Ding!*
Steak. *Ding!*
She didn't actually commit suicide with the steak. *Ding!*
Snap. *Ding!*
Loopin. *Ding!*
Masticating. *Ding!*
*10 points from Slytherin!*
It wasn't cancer. It was THIS PARAGRAPH that killed Alan Rickman. *Ding!*
I know Snape would never take points off his own house, but for this he'd make an exception.
"EW, YOU FUCKING PERVS, STOP LOOKING AT ME NAKED! ARE YOU PEDOS OR WHAT!" I screamed putting on a black towel with a picture of Marilyn Mason on it. Suddenly Vampire ran in.
Who the f*ck is Marilyn MASON? *Ding!*
"Abra Kedavra!" he yelled at Snape and Loopin pointing his womb. I took my gun and shot Snape and Loopin a gazillion times and they both started screaming and the camera broke. Suddenly, Dumblydore ran in. "Ebony, it has been revealed that someone has - NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" he shouted looking at Snape and Loopin and then he waved his wand and suddenly...
Womb. *Ding!*
No explanation for there suddenly being guns in the Harry Potter universe. *Ding!*
Using the word 'suddenly' twice in one sentence. *Ding!*
Hargrid ran outside on his broom and said everyone we need to talk.
"What do you know, Hargrid? You're just a little Hogwarts student!"
"I MAY BE A HOGWARTS STUDENT...." Hargirid paused angrily. "BUT I AM ALSO A SATANIST!"
YOU ARE READING
Everything Wrong With: My Immortal
RastgeleMy Immortal: widely regarded as the worst piece of fanfiction ever written, EVER! But we here at StorySins weren't happy with that assumption, and so we decided to test it! Here are the results. No spelling mistake goes unpunished. No assault to the...
