Elsie-Rae's got Double D's

taxi, for one

Well, let's just say this year has kicked off exactly the same as the last one ended.

I told Aaron that I didn't want to go out, but he wouldn't listen, that's always been his problem - he likes the sound of his own voice too much, never listen's to what anyone else has to say.

Anyway, we started the night off in The Green Dragon; it's not the kind of place you'd want to frequent very often, it's the biggest dive bar known to mankind. Still, Aaron was in his element as he chatted up Adam, the barman - they'd had a bit of a fling last summer, unfinished business is what Aaron called it.

Then we went to Q Bar and had some cocktails; they had some sort of deal on where you could buy cocktails and get a free shot. And, well, who doesn't like free shots?

By the time we decided to head on down to Enigma, I was well passed wasted. I'd wobbled up to the door, sure that the bloke on the door wouldn't let me in - looking back now, I wish they hadn't, it would've been better for all involved if I'd just gone home. But it was Kyle who was in charge, and I've known him for years; we sort of kissed this one time, not long after Ben dumped me, I was out in town and he had a night off, we bumped into each other, our lips touched briefly and then I left the club and got my dad to come pick me up and take me home.

"Elsie, looking good," he said as he kissed me on the cheek when I walked in.

And despite Sam's previous warning or what Ben had said to me that night, I replied with, "you're looking pretty fit yourself." Even as drunk as I was I can still remember every embarrassing thing.

"I'll come find you later, we'll have a drink, yeah?" Kyle said.

And I'd pushed myself closer to him; I could feel his muscles flex under his shirt. It was like I'd died and gone to heaven. Thankfully Aaron came and dragged me away, which was probably a good thing, I mean I might've started dry humping Kyle's leg there and then.

The drinks flowed freely, and my body moved in the same way on the dance floor. I was at one with the music, I was the music, and the music was me. Well, I didn't exactly move gracefully on the dancefloor, I kind of wobbled and staggered about; thankfully the sticky carpet stopped any mishaps - I didn't go arse-over-tit which is pretty lucky, considering the dress I was wearing meant you had to go minus underwear.

"Shots!" Aaron had shouted, dragging me out of the trance I'd found myself in while I listened to the music. "Here you go," he'd said, handing me over two sambucas.

Sambuca is not good! It has never been, it somehow always leads me to make bad decisions. No, not just bad decisions, but the worst decisions ever! That's how that thing with Shaun ended up happening; someone had suggested shots whenever one of us mentioned our ex, and look how that turned out. So I should've said no to the sambuca; I should've had some self-control, but I didn't. I took those shots from Aaron and downed them one after another.

That's my excuse for why I found myself kissing Shaun in the club, and then I'd caught sight of myself in one of the floor to ceiling length mirrors. To say that I was both disgusted and disappointed in myself would be an understatement.

I'd pushed him off me as quick as I could; there was no way I could go through the aftermath of one stupid drunken snog again. I'd only just got rid of him; it was getting to the point where I thought a restraining order might be an appropriate course of action. After that night he started to come to the salon to get his hair cut and sometimes I'd see him hanging around near the local shop down my road. Or I'd bump into him on my way home from work, yet here I was encouraging his behaviour.

"I need some fresh air," I'd said pushing Shaun off me and stumbling outside where I'd bumped into Kyle.

"Whoa, I think you've had a little bit too much," Kyle said while holding my arm to help steady me. "Come on, let me help you to a taxi," he'd said while leading me down the steps from the entrance to the club.

He sat me in the back seat and took my provisional driving license from my bag and showed it to the taxi driver so he could take me home. And I can't be totally sure that I saw what I thought I saw, but there was Ben stood on the steps smoking with his group of friends, and they were all smiling. Why was he smiling? Why should he be allowed to be happy? It wasn't fair! The bastard!

And as the taxi driver negotiated the small streets at what felt like high speed, I just knew that I was going to throw up. I could feel it in my throat, and when I tried to ask him to stop it came out all over the back seat, and the smell was horrendous.

"Oh God, I'm really sorry," I'd muttered.

"That'll cost you," the driver said, "I'm gonna have to charge you to clean this."

Well, I didn't have any money; I couldn't pay him. Even though we were sat right outside my house, I got my phone out of my bag and called my dad, thankfully he was awake. And like a knight in shining armour, or a dad in his pyjamas and slippers he came to my rescue.

"How much?" he asked the taxi driver.

I watched him as he counted out a series of twenty-pound notes.

"I'm really sorry; I'll pay you back. Promise." I whined to my dad as he helped me into the house.

"Nevermind that. What's gotten into you lately?" he questioned me. "Sit down," he pulled out a chair by the breakfast bar and walked to the fridge, took out some bacon and fired up the frying pan.

As we sat there eating bacon sandwiches and drinking tea, it all came tumbling out. I told him everything. How I couldn't cope with life right now, everything had been going wrong for so long that it was hard to see a time when everything would be okay again. And he'd suggested that maybe I could see someone, like a therapist or something, he was probably right, dad always seems to be right about everything.

"I'm going to be single forever," I moaned, as my dad tucked me into bed like he used when I was a small child.

"Don't be silly, of course; you won't. It's just life Elsie; it's sent to try us. Try and get some sleep, it'll be better in the morning," he said kissing me on the forehead. "Although judging how drunk you are now, I'd say that you're going to feel pretty shitty in the morning," he laughed before turning the light out and closing the door behind him.

I could still hear him laughing to himself as he made his way to the bathroom.