Elsie-Rae always fancied having Double D's and that's exactly what she got after her boyfriend Ben dumped her, since that night in McDonald's car park her life has been one disaster and dilemma after another.
Now, she must learn to live her...
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I called in at Dean's house on my way back from work, I didn't plan it, I left the salon and the next thing I knew I was sat on the sofa in his living room, with his mum handing me a cup of tea.
"But I thought he was doing okay?" I said sounding quite pathetic. As if Dean was suddenly going to change because of that non-existent, sort of relationship we'd had.
"Unfortunately, Elsie as much as he doesn't want to hear it, Dean is too much like his father. Acts before he thinks; never thinks of the consequences of his actions. He knew he had to attend his appointment for drug testing, and he turned up still drunk from the night before and high; he'd been offered a job as well." Val said, wiping her eyes. "Six to eight weeks and he'll be out, I wish they'd keep him a bit longer, let him stew a while."
"Do you think I could write to him?" I don't know if I even wanted to write to him. He'd messed things up for himself and ignored me.
"No. The best thing you can do is forget him. He's not the right guy for you. Mr Right is out there somewhere Elsie, but Dean isn't him."
Maybe Val was right. Dean wasn't the kind of guy for me. Truth is he probably wasn't the right kind of guy for anyone, but maybe I'm not the right kind of girl for anyone either.
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That's it now, I'm off guys, for real this time. It's just one massive disaster after another - Ben, Shaun, Dean - honestly, I can't be bothered with all that dating malarky, I mean what's the point?
Aaron's told me that he can set me up with a guy he knows, but I don't want to. And he keeps going on about online dating, but I'm not doing that, knowing my luck, I'd end up with a right weirdo.
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Right, I know I said the dating app was a stupid idea, but well, we went for drinks after work and then it suddenly didn't seem like such a bad idea.
And before I could change my mind, Aaron had downloaded the app on to my phone and set me up with an account, and I was looking for casual sex within a ten-mile radius of the WR11 postcode. My profile picture was a photo of my tits in a push-up bikini that Aaron had taken in Benidorm two summers ago, and apparently, my name was Ellie - so I was pretty much 'catfishing' guys on the internet, the name was a lie and so were the tits.
"You just tell these guys what they want to hear," Aaron said, "it's not like they know who you are. And if you want to meet one of them then you can, it's not like you're being completely dishonest, and you've got to remember they probably aren't being truthful either. It'll just be a bit of fun," he said with a huge grin on his face. "I've lost count of the number of guys I've met up with on here." He was clearly proud of the multiple hook-up's he'd managed to bag himself.
"Whatever," I said before knocking back another vodka. It wasn't like I was actually going to use the bloody thing.
