We Are More Than The Doctor's Paper

9-Borderline Personality Disorder

A serious mental disorder marked by patterns of ongoing instability in moods, behavior, self-image, and functioning. A person with BPD can experience intense anger, depression, and anxiety episodes that may last a few hours to days.

Symptoms of BPD include frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment, pattern of intense and unstable relationships, disordered self-image, dangerous behaviors, re-occuring suicidal behaviors, intense/high changing moods, chronic feels of emptiness, inappropriate anger, stress related paranoid thoughts

(www.nami.org/Learn-More/Mental-Health-Condition/Borderline-Personality-Disorder)

1.6% of adults in the Us have BPD but may be as high as 5.9%

(www.nami.nih.gov/health/topics/borderline-personality-disorder)

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Hi. I am Remi Vega and I am Borderline. I'm seventeen years of age and have been this way since I was twelve or thirteen. I can be normal, angry, depressed, or anxious at any given time. My boyfriend broke up with me because of my BPD. If you only saw I was afterwards. I felt unwanted and misunderstood. I pushed everyone away. I isolated myself without even caring. The only reason why I'm here in Briarcliff Manor is because I realized I needed to get help. It's not usual for someone with a mental illness or disease to say they need help because they recognize the problem. However, I'm glad I did see I needed help or else I wouldn't be here right now.

It was a Saturday night in September and my friend invited me out for the evening. I decided to go so I didn't upset her or anything. We met up at the Secret Place which was a club. For some reason I got very angry after being there for a little while and stormed out leaving my friend there. I went for a walk around town before making my way home. When I got there I was numb-mentally numb. I asked myself what was the point of living the way I was. I decided to end it for the sake of everyone around me. I wrote a note to my family and went to the bathroom. I ran water for a bath and got my pills. I got in the tub and thought about everything. While I was thinking I realized that taking my own life wasn't the answer to anything. That I could get myself help and live a somewhat normal controlled life. I called Briarcliff Manor that evening and reserved myself a spot. Not everyone understands me at times and there's a list of things that trigger me. I hope to get better soon and I know it won't be easy, but everything will be worth it.