Can you Love me?

c h a p t e r 38

Is it surprising to say that I have never worn a floor length gown till today? And I hated it. It made walking difficult, I have to endure the pain of heels accompanied with it and it showed off my rotting in the poison green skin.

Silas sent me the black gown and accessories with it as if I was in a mood to dress up for this occasion. I wore the gown alright but I never touched the ostentatious necklace or the makeup kit I had no idea how to use.

The ticking of the clock and my heart beat was the only sound resonating in my ears and for some reason that made my stomach churn in discomfort.

My red eyes stare back at me and I can see my reflection begging me to do those red eyes justice and be completely evil but there was something lacking.

Don't be something you are not. Jayden said something along the same lines.

But who am I? I bury my face in my hands and try to inhale and exhale properly.

The knock on the door pull my out of my misery but I avoid it anyway. Whoever wants to come in might want to die or it is Silas.

"Come, it's time." The way he said it sounded ominous. It was ten at night and after two hours I will be nineteen.

I gulped down all the surfacing emotions and looked up, keeping my head high and chin straight. It was showtime.

"How does this work? I just stand in the center of your hall and one by one people start dying?" The coldness in my tone was not surprising anymore.

"No, we will be sitting on the upper floor behind the glass while the celebrations and function will proceed downstairs."

Wow, how intelligent.

"Learn to control power, Annalise." His reproachful tone made me snap.

"You send me a minion to make me evil and now you want me to control. You are a typical parent, never satisfied with your child's progress."

He sighed and gave up on me.

I reached the room where the semicircle glass window allowed me to see whatever was going on down below. And even though it has been just two days. Some sharp emotion hit my chest as I saw all the familiar faces. Surprised at myself my hands fumbled on the tears resting on my cheek.

I am still a weak pathetic fool, still crying, still wishing. I don't learn from mistakes.

Kasper was escorting his grandmother who was the only smiling one in the gathering. I guess that old fairy had some hope in me. Blade and rest of his family seemed struck with fear. Jayden was not in the picture yet.

My "parents" looked pale and unwell and I saw Rose had puffy red eyes. As much as I thought she deserved it, one part of me was breaking to see her this way.

"Who do you want to kill?" Silas asked eyeing me the crowd carefully.

"Everyone."

He remained silent at my answer.

"Jayden said that you offered him a dance?" He asked and I ignored the panic in my heart.

"Does he report you everything?" I asked pertly.

"No, we had to pull him out from the torture chamber for the party. He is being healed as we speak." My fist clenched tighter, nails digging into my palm.

Jayden never told me he was in the torture chamber, I felt nauseous.

"Why did you send him there?" I tried all calm and collected.