Tour Baby | L.P

7- Truth

"When were...you gonna tell us about this? Me?..." Louis spoke up his voice cracking. I looked up and I was right they all had tears in there eyes, Perrie and El already had some down there faces already. I felt so bad.

"Im...so sorry. They were just thoughts I...I was never gonna do it...unless." I said but stopped myself Louis came over to me and hugged me. I silently sobbed into his arms.

"Unless what...." I heard El speak up. Her voice cracking as well she was crying. She was practically my sister.

"Unlesss......I lost Jackson..." I said in between sobs. I didn't look up I just kept my head in Louis chest and sobbed. He was honeslty my brother, I loved him so much, words can't explain everything he's done for me and how much I love and care about him. That's why this must be so hard for him to hear. He kept rubbing my back while holding me.

Once my sobs were gone I fell alseep. I couldn't talk anymore...it was too painful. I guess I gotta start taking care of myself instead of only thinking about Jackson.

When I woke up Louis was asleep on a chair. I moved a little bit to sit up and he woke up.

"Hey..." he said groggy giving me a tired smile.

"Hi..." I said looking around for everyone else. He noticed and spoke up.

"I told El to go home and get some sleep. She had a rough day and the lads and Perrie had to go, Perrie had practise and Visting hours are over. Lottie and her boyfriend came over while you were sleeping. I told them what was wrong...even the...the.... thoughts. They had to go back becasue they had a plane to catch in a few hours. I just....couldn't leave. I forced them to let me stay...I couldn't leave you C. I worried" Louis said fully sitting up now. His eyes were glossy as we're mine.

"Oh Louis...." I said and opened my arms to hug him. We hugged for a while.

"I love you little wannabe sis....so much" he said and tightened his hug.

"I love you big wannabe bro....so much as well!" I said and hugged him tighter. The rest of the night neither of us could go back so sleep so he layed in my hospital bed watching movies. I was cuddling Louis and he had his arm around me.

You must be thinking...how is Eleanor okay with this? Do we have feelings for eachother. 

No, we've never and will never have feelings for eachother, we are like brother and sister. El, is completely okay with it becasue she knows we don't have feelings for eachother, she loves me and loves him and she knows Louis loves her so much he wouldn't do anything to hurt her. He's actully told me he's thinking about proposing to her later this year.

Not being able to fall back asleep in the night was a hard feeling on me. I we so exhasted, not to mention the doctors made me pump so they could feed Jackson. That makes you feel liked your dead, it takes more energy out of you than normal breastfeeding.

I'm not able to see Jackson for another day. Because of how many times I broke down yesterday, they think I'm emotional unstable to hold my baby! I find it ridiculous but I can't do anything about it. 

Louis hasn't left my side, you would think he was my husband or something , weve actully been asked that, because of how often he's here. He never leaves and If he does to eat or shower he leaves El with me.

Sitting up and rubbing my eyes missing my baby boy, I heard the door click. Harry walked in.

"Hey...how are you C?" He asked softly coming over for a gentle hug. I have to admit I was drained and upset, but oh well. Louis was currently out on a date night with El, I made them go. I told them I would be fine alone.

"Im...alive.." I ask letting out a sad chuckle.

He laughed softly agian. Kissing the top of my head as he backed away.

"That's good...but Hey someone's here to see you....you up for it?" He asked with the most gentle, caring green eyes.

"Yeah...yeah" I said not even thinking about who it was. I thought It would be Daisey or Pheobe or something, I didn't expect it to be him.

None other than Liam Payne walkd into my room. Harry coughed and walked out of the room, probobly giving us some time alone....wich isn't smart.

"Jezz...Chey..." he said breathlessly with a sad and tired expression on his face.

"Please...don't Call me that..." I said tearing up. No this can't happen, I want to see my Jackson, if I keep breaking down in never gonna get to see him. He just kept looking at me with a sad puppy dog expression in his face. He wasn't speaking so I decided to.

"W...what do you want?" I asked weakly trying not to cry. He just had had shocked expression in his face and he looked at me more. As if I hurt him...ha.

"I just wanted to check up on you. I heard what was wrong and the....the...thoughts. " he said gritting that part as If he wanted to throw up just by the thought.

"Why? Why would you care?....you never did? You left us! Remember?!" I said raising my voice but trying not to too loudly.

"I...know...i...I'm so stupid. I thought my career was more important than my family. ..and...and I shouldnt have. I'm so stupid." He said, his voice cracking. This made me want to shush him and cuddle him, saying everything's okay...but it's not.

"Well you should be. You led me in to belive you loved me, cared about me...when I'm reality all you cared about was your carrer!" I said sitting up a bit more with a grunt. He rushed over to help.

"DONT!" I practically yelled putting my hand up to stop him.

"Dangit Cheyenne! Can't you see I STILL LOVE YOU AND I ALWAYS HAVE!" He screamed shaking a bit. I stopped what I was doing just then. I froze, he's lying part of me said...but then the other part of me wanted so badly to belive him. My mouth opened slowly and a tear or 2 fell down my face, no im not breaking down...I need my baby.

"J...just get out..." I said so soft and weak I'm surprised he heard me. I looked back up at him and he had a tear down his cheek and a hurt expression but he obeyed my wishes. He left....he didnt fight it.

Just as he was walking out Louis walked past him and bumped into him. He had a shocked and anger expression as he walked up to me.

"Why the heck was he in here?!" He said rasing his voice knowing not to scream.

"H...Harry said I had a visitor...i..I didn't know it was him." I said sniffling.

"Oh...C.." he said sighing and coming over to hug me. I held it in. The tears, the wanting to break down. I needed to see my baby tomorrow, hes the only reason im still here, the only reason im alive today and the only way I was gonna do that Is If I didn't break down.

He pulled away and kissed my forehead wich made me smile. He gave me a white take out bag.

"On our way back...we stopped by your favorite sandwich place and got you a sandwich." Louis said with a smile.

"Thanks Lou...but you didn't have to..." I said hugging him and smiling. He always put the biggest smile on my face.

"Of course. Love you little sis wannabe." He said kissing my cheek. I laughed.

"Love you too, big brother wannabe" I said chuckling.

"At least I got a smile and laugh out of you. Anyway, eat up I'll be right back." He said and walked off leaving me to my sandwich and smiles. I haven't smiled this big and ment It in so long.