The Way to Truth

Chapter 12: Disappointment

Everything is blurry. I look at her once more, but my legs refuse to move and I feel a force holding me down. I call out to her again telling her that I'll join her soon, but her beckoning smile melted into grimace. Disappointment shone in her eyes as she slowly turned and trudged down the path ahead, almost disappearing from my view. I felt my heart tear into pieces. I had hurt her again when all I wanted to do was apologise. I felt warm tears streak down my face as I called out to her. The silence was suffocating, and in an instant everything became black.

My eyelids slowly blinked, still sensitive to the Sun's welcoming light. Where...where was I again? I felt immensely disoriented, raising my hand to wipe my wet face, as I felt the streams of warm water running down my face. Wait...why am I...? Why am I crying? I rub my puffy eyelids as the sudden sound of someone's strained voice arises in my muffled ears, breaking the serene silence. The raspy shouts continue, but I don't feel like responding. I feel a sudden jerk under my head, realizing that I was pillowed against someone's legs. I felt the warm embrace around me materialize into someone's hands holding me tightly. The voice's clarity sharpens. It seemingly calls me, but I just don't feel like reacting. Too tiring.
"Sesame!" With the sudden hit of realization, I recognize who the panicked voice belonged to. I look up against the sharp sun to see Nathan's head silhouetted against it, his mouth frantically calling my name as his eyes shone with a mixture of panic and fear. Why is he so worried? As the drowziness wears away, I start to remember. I was in the park! With Nathan! Everything was fine, then something happened...and blank. Then it hits me....this must look seriously embarrassing! Almost instantaneously, I jump up and off the floor, my cheeks red. Thankfully there was no one else to witness such an embarrassing thing! I look towards Nathan and awkwardly eye him. "Nathan, what are you doing!? Seriously, I know you like being weird and all but this is just...embarrassing!" My face continues reddening, but he rises rigidly, facing me once more. The worry in his eyes still shining, his face serious, "Sesame this is no time for jokes. Are you alright?" He wastes no time asking me, entirely ignoring my earlier sentence. I don't understand...why is he so worried? I walked forward towards him, but my legs quivered causing me to trip. With his quick reflexes he caught me. "Clearly you are not alright," he repeated himself as he kept his arm on my shoulders for support as he led us towards the closest bench. I wanted to tell him that he's acting crazy, and I wanted to ask him why he was so worried all the same, but I just felt too weak. I'll admit, it was embarrassing for a person like me who never relies on anyone to be dragged across to a bench. He helped me sit as he continued his instructions,"Wait here, I'll bring some water." I wanted to protest that I was absolutely fine, but something firm in his eyes told me that I shouldn't question him. He ran the fastest I had ever seen him run, his face still caked with tension visible even from afar. Did I do something wrong? Did I make him angry at me? I just couldn't remember. It felt as if my mind had been erased. Did I collapse? I saw him return, jogging as fast as he could with a bottle of water and two popsicles in his hand. Whatever had happened, something about Nathan had simply changed. I could sense it. Earlier today, I felt that he was wound up about something, but now I could see his anxiousness radiate, even from a distance. His clear black eyes were turbulent and cloudy, his mouth tightly clenched and his movement less calculated and collected than usual. I don't know what, but something had happened. Was it my fault? I felt guilt rise within me. He slid onto his knees beside me and without wasting any time, uncapped the bottle in a split second. I took it from his hand and gulped mouthfuls of water. Seemingly relieved, he took a deep breath and sat beside me on the bench, opening each of the popsicles and handing one to me. I plucked it in my mouth, its cool sweet tanginess melting on my tongue. "Icecream is sweet. It'll help you feel better in no time," he said as I took the opportunity to tease him, "Alright, alright. Sure thing doc." Normally, he would smile whenever I'd tease him, but now he just turned his head away, a frown appearing on his face.