Mental Institution, N27.

10

"You are something else, Zayn. You're something that will be the death of me."

Zayn gazed at her, thinking about the words she has just said. Death. Death is the reason why he is like this today, Death was the one thing he hated so much, Death took everything away from him that he had no one else to take his hand and save him from the darkness that was taking over his life, he wakes up everyday to be reminded of how death took the only thing that made sense in his life. It took Angeline and he couldn't help but blame himself for her death. He murdered her and there was no other solution than that. He was a murderer yet the girl in front of him refused to believe it, she knew he was innocent, something inside of her made her so sure that he couldn't have murdered that girl.

She looked at him with so much emotion in her eyes, the way he looked at her right now was full of a strange emotion, as if he despised himself. His eyes told her that he despised himself and the urge to hold him has never been stronger, she felt a huge wave of emotions come over her, she felt as if she had to comfort him, she felt responsible of him. She knew that the emotions she has been feeling meant one thing and only one thing. She was falling in love with him. But she was in denial, she couldn't just fall for him, she didn't want to hurt him in any way possible. She knew that if she let herself melt into his arms, a lot of complications will be in their way and those complications will cause Zayn harm, not her and she's not selfish enough to put his life in danger so she pushed her emotions aside and let go of his hands along with all the feelings she started to feel in the past few days.

"You know, there is something i always wondered about life, it makes you meet the most unexpected people and start making you feel the most unexpected feelings towards those people, you start to think that it's going to be all rainbows and unicorns but then life makes the most unexpected thing to you, it takes away those people and breaks your heart." He spoke up, his eyes looking down at his hands as he did. Perrie was shocked that he was speaking to her, actually speaking to her. She didn't know what to feel about it but she picked up her cup, sipping from it, her gaze never leaving the man in front of her as she listened to every word he spoke carefully.

"I was never so..dull. I never felt like I shouldn't deserve even smiling. I thought about suicide once. I was in my room, my father was arguing with my mother about how i was becoming useless everyday, they were arguing about how i stopped caring about anything anymore. My father did seem like he was worried sick about me when he brought me to your hospital but i know deep down i know he was just worried about me consuming a space in his house for nothing, i would give him nothing in return so why keep me in the house? The best solution he came up with was sending me to a mental institution. He took me away from my mother, my sisters and never felt guilty about it. I sat there on my bed for a while and thought..why am i pulling my family into my own misery? I wouldn't even speak to my mother. Do you know how much it killed me seeing the tears in her eyes as she tried to make me talk to her but i refused to say a word?"

"I felt like I lost my voice. I would open my mouth but no words came out, I decided that i should just put an end to everyone's misery and die but then again how can i leave my sisters in the hands of a father who never cared about them? So i stopped walking towards my window and went back to my bed, to dream about her. To blame myself for what happened to her. To remind myself that i'm not worth living anymore but i can't even have that, i don't have the right to just kill myself when i have a woman and three girls in my responsibility. I just wish i died when she did, i wish..i wish i could end my life without having a second thought about the consequences."

By the time he had finished speaking, he looked up at Perrie, his eyes filled with tears and was surprised when he found that her eyes matched his but the only difference was that her tears were already rolling down her cheeks, her lips trembling and her hand holding her the necklace around her neck tightly. He was pained when he realised that he was the reason she was crying, he did the only thing he was trying not to do from the very first day he laid eyes on her, he hurt her. He knows that he didn't mean to but he did.