Life With One Direction

Chapter 12

Mary's Point of View

"Lou?" I gasped. He'd been listening. It was obvious by the look on his face. Oh, and his tears.

He moved like a robot as he came and sat next to me.

"Explain. Everything. Now."

I just shook my head at him and turned to Harry.

"Em if I tell him, I'm telling him everything. Everything," he emphasized the last word.

I shrugged. I couldn't be bothered hiding the truth from Lou any more anyway, he was bound to see the cuts on my arms soon enough anyway.

Louis was crying again and it was all my fault. Again.

I guess the girl at uni today was right. I don't deserve to have him as a brother if I make him feel bad enough to cry.

As though he was reading my thoughts, Lou spoke.

"Em," he whispered. "Em. You can't do this. You can't let jealous fans make you feel this way. You can't let anyone, including mum make you feel this way. You can't let anyone cause you to do this!"

"Lou you don't get it. I don't deserve you, I don't deserve any of you. She's at least got that bit right."

"No she hasn't!" he shouted, causing me to flinch. Harry had stayed silent but tightened his arm around my waist. Well, he had finished my story for me while I had stared into space, so I guess it's only fair that I'm the one that has to talk now.

"Yes, she has. You boys always do everything for me, always try to make me feel better when I'm down, always help me out when I need it and we can all talk about anything! But what have I done for you, huh? Tell me one thing I've done for you and I won't feel as bad, but I've done nothing."

"But you have Em, you have," Harry said. "You're always there for us. Do you know that every time that you leave, Louis and Niall cry themselves to sleep?"

"That just means that I make them miserable Harry. It doesn't mean anything."

"But it does! Because it means we miss you! We all feel down when you leave because whenever you are here we can forget about everything and just be ourselves! We forget all about management, forget about the haters and even when you aren't here, we spend all our time talking about you and thinking of you. It's hard not having you with us. Why do you think we Skype you nearly every night or call you? Because we care as we want you with us!" he stopped suddenly and took a really deep breath.

I had no words.

"Em, listen to me."

I turned to Louis to hear what he had to say. His voice sounded choked.

"I love you, okay? You're my little sister. And if it wasn't for you, I wouldn't even be here. You literally forced me to go audition on X Factor and if you hadn't, we'd both probably be at Doncaster still, living the messed up life we used to live."

"But Lou I-"

"Em. This is a new start for you I London. Forget about everything that happened in the past. Forget about Chris. Forget about-" he broke off, his voice husky with sadness. "Forget about mum. Just be happy, for me. Please?" he begged.

I took a deep breath.

"This is a new start, but I won't forget about the past Lou. I won't forget because the past is what brought us to where we are today a what made us who we are. We will never forget."

He grabbed me in a hug and we sat there for a long time.

Harry, I realized had snuck off leaning us in each others company and getting things for the party ready.