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The Past has A dirty face

November 2008
"Mum, I'm heading out for pizza with Uncle Jibril" I called out to my mum already on my way out of the door with my uncle.
Uncle jibril my dad's only male sibling was staying at our place since my cousin Firdausi who was just 15 was getting married in two days and I had grown fond of him in the two days he was around. Firdausi was getting married to a man older than her because according to some weird traditions since she had started menstruating she was meant to be at her husband's house by now and so was I because we were age mates but my mum refused and so my grandmum had refused to speak to my dad.
Uncle jibril promised me pizza so we had headed out but he took another turn and instead drove us towards a hotel he told me he was meeting a friend and didn't want me to stay alone in the car so I followed him out, he went to the counter and collected a key which was off because he was coming to see someone and not collect a room but I didn't bother to ask because I trusted him. We got to the elevator which was empty and he started moving too close to me and whispered in my ear words that sent thrills to my mind but I still wasn't bothered because he was my uncle we walked into a floor after the elavator dinged open and he lead us to a suite which he opened with the key he collected but I still couldn't see any one in there he asked me to get comfy while he goes outside to call his friend. A while later two men entered the room and they were all sending dirty looks towards me which made me want to crawl out of my skin but then I stopped myself from getting scared unnecessarily and walked towards the door while announcing to my uncle that I was going to go wait for him by the car but the unexpected happened when one of the men dragged me away from the door and towards one of the rooms while locking the door and that was when it dawned on me that I was trapped with a strange man and alone for that matter I tried screaming but he held my mouth shut and used a handkerchief to close my mouth and then proceeded to tie my hands with a rope before removing my clothes, I was young and here I was experiencing things I only read in the news I was going to be raped and possibly murdered but only one thought ran through my mind and that was if my uncle had an idea what was going on but how couldn't he, he was just in the room outside and he couldn't save me. I layed there nude in front of this strange man with tears in my eyes and hope in my heart so some one would come save me he took his own clothes off and proceeded to snatch away my innocence from me when he was done the other man he had come in with thrusted inside me and had his own turn in ruining my life before my uncle came in, 'Alhamdulillah' I thought to myself thinking he was there to save me but then he took his own turn on me and left me there to cry. An hour or so later he came back to open the door and untied me but he didn't spare me after what I had gone through but warned me against telling anyone about it, he pushed me inside the toilet and cleaned me up because I was bleeding and asked me to put on my clothes. I was lost of words, my own blood had just taken away my innocence and that too with his friends.

We got home and I refused to talk to anyone about it including Aisha who was my best friend and confidante. Days became weeks, and the weeks, a month and I still told no one until the day I woke up and started throwing up and mum suggested we go to the hospital and after the check up I realised I was a month pregnant, mum wasn't happy about it but kept her cool about the situation and when we got home she told dad about it he was furious and barged in to my room asking me who the father was but I was scared, my dad knew me but right now he was mad at me so he dragged me to his study pulling me all the way we got to his study and he paced about for a while before calming down and asking me patiently, I couldn't hide it anymore so I told dad everything that happened while weeping heartily he got up and sped out of the house leaving mum in terror of why he had left in that manner, hours later after mum had given up on dialing his number.  My grand Mum had called telling mum to come quickly that my dad was going to commit murder and should come stop him, so she quickly called Ya Faruk to go get the driver so she could head out to our grandmum's place, i hurriedly followed her and when we got there she ran to dad trying to pry him off Uncle Jibril who he was at the moment beating to a pulp after much persuasion he got off him and walked into the parlour with mum in tow followed by ya Faruk and I. Dad narrated what I had told him to my grandmum and stood up to leave leaving the poor old woman and mum weeping in each others arms but It wasn't long to when I passed out and had to be rushed to the hospital while Uncle Jibril was arrested. I woke up six hours later to meet my mum and dad with pity in their eyes I guess by now they already think of themselves as bad parents but no it was my fault too.

Days later mum came into my room at night only to tell me that we were invited to my grandmum's house the next day, that night I slept in fear of what the next day might hold.
We got to my grandmums house and I was ask to sit in the middle but I didn't miss the eyes of all my relatives who were all present.
"Zarah, Zarah, Zarah" Came my grandmums voice or kaka as we addressed her.
"You know that whatever I say here is final and I want you to know it would be best for you to follow it" She added and I nodded
"Well I have decided that you would keep the pregnancy and hand the child over to your mum when he is delivered and move on with your life and by Allah's grace you will find a good spouse" She said and left the parlour not minding if I was okay with it, I didn't miss the fear that was evident in her eyes.
How could I be my life was just snatched from me i was young and still schooling so now that means I have to quit school for a while. We left there for home in silence and when I got home dad told me he wanted to see me later that day. I prayed and went to meet him in his study.
"Salamualaikum" I said entering his study.
"Walaikumusallam" He replied as commanded.
"Aba na you called for me" I said as he offered me a place to sit in front of him.
"My princess, before I begin I want you to know that no matter what your mother and I would always be there for you and your brothers, I understand that you need us now more than ever that is why I called you" He said and paused for a while before continuing.
"What your kaka said is the right thing, you know that aborting a child is a grave sin so I would suggest you keep it and when the time is right we shall see what Allah has predestined to happen in the life your lives. You may think that whatever Is happening would stop your education but don't worry I have plans for that, but now just focus on your health, make sure to eat at the right time and take your drugs. You may now leave and please don't cry again you're my princess." He concluded.
As I stood up to leave he called me back and reminded me to keep it a secret from my friends.
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