Hey, Stranger

Healing Old Wounds

Zarah's POV
The next day...

"Zarah please can you think about what happened last night it's not like I don't respect your choice is just that I'd really like us to establish our special bond and have our own kids. I know you might think this is an infatuation but every moment i spend with you sends me into over drive and I can barely contain my self anymore, I love you but it's getting too much. You hardly ever speak anymore to me or even look at me and I know what I did isn't wrong because this is allowed... I mean we are married and it is okay..." He said walking into the room after I walked out of the parlour when he came in and held my hands.

"Amir, you of all people should understand that this isn't easy for me. I hardly ever think of sex without having to think of my past and then with little Aliya on My mind it's harder. You've been understanding with me all the way so why can't you understand me now, its like you're a totally different person from the man I married." I said getting angry and our conversation getting heated as Amir dragged me to the bed and walked back to close the door before coming back to face me because his friends came visiting.

"You think it's easy having kept myself for this long. You think it's easy waking up and thinking oh well she won't let me even look at her. You think it's easy raising another man's child and giving that child my name, well it's not because it's very hard and you can't even fulfil My desires and here I am at your every call, I want to be perfect but you won't let me i mean your body is so perfect and then you come out in sexy night gowns and expect me not to get tempted, well its IMPOSSIBLE I'm a man and I have needs. If you can't fulfil them then I can't tolerate it. Zarah don't get me wrong I love you, i love who you've been who you are and who you are going to be but you've got to see things from My point of view. It's hard" He said pacing about the room and occasionally stopping to look at me and then I let the flood commence, I couldn't hold it no more and I was getting angry too that he had to remind me of my past.
"Amir i am no where close to perfect fuck it there is no such thing as perfect but I want to be for you, and I want you to know that it's hard for my old wounds to be healed so easily. I'm trying my possible best to give in but it's hard, you're not the only one in this but Amir you alone understand me so why can't you understand me now. Why?!!!!!" I Said already in tears but he just walked out and left the house leaving me alone. I called Aisha and told her everything that had happened but she seemed indifferent and told me never to add a third party to my marital problems even if it were her, so now I'm left alone to deal with such a big problem and I couldn't do anything about it but pray.
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My first few days as a married woman have been torture, oh let's see... one, my husband doesn't talk to me, look at me, eat my food or do anything that concerns me, two, my sister refuses to see things in my lights, I could go on and on but well it won't change anything. It's been four days since the incident but things have gone from better to worst and I pray everyday for things to get better again. I've been trying my best to reconnect with Amir but things just don't seem easy anymore and today I prepared his favorite meal and plan to take It to him in his room which I stopped sleeping in after the incident and I've prayed alot to Allah that my old wounds heal.

"Salamualaikum" I said walking into his room.

"Waalaikumusalam" He replied turning briefly to look at me before looking at the laptop screen in front of him.

"I made your favorite" I said hoping to start a conversation with him.

"Thank you, I'll eat it later" He replied still not looking at me so I sat on the bed and moved closer to him.

"If you want to talk about the other night I am really sorry I tried to take advantage of you but I hope you know I am really sorry that Is why I've been trying to give you your space so my desires don't push me to do any wrong again" He said still looking at the laptop.