My True Colors

Sara

   I closed my book letting out a sigh and looked around the small café. The sweet smell of coffee and the smooth jazz they always played would normally keep me calm and relaxed; today I was anything but. It had been almost two weeks and Sara still hadn't come back. I felt lonely. Sure, I had Evan to keep me company but it was nothing like having a girl friend to laugh and talk with. I huffed and put my book down taking a sip of my coffee. Staring at the door I couldn't help but feel a bit helpless. School started soon and there was no way I would be able to go without her. If I asked Emily I'm sure she would just laugh and I didn't want to hold Evan back from hanging out with his friends, even though he had offered several times. I stared at the entrance wishing she would walk through any moment, instead Evan did. He waved and smiled and I did the same. Sitting down across from me, he put his bag down and pulled out his book. He smiled at me and eagerly looked at the coffee cup next to mine. I sighed and smiled pushing the cup towards him "Yeah, you can have it." He smiled even wider which I didn't think was possible. "You're the best." He said grabbing the cup, I smiled and looked down at my hands, my smile fading.

   This was our daily routine. I would come buy two coffee's one for me the other for Sara and eventually Evan would come in from work and ask for it. "Don't worry Scar I'm sure she'll come back soon." Evan said pulling my attention back to him. "I don't know. I'm worried." I said. "Hey, I just told you not to worry little missy!" He joked. I half smiled "Seriously Evan. She wouldn't tell me what happened or what she had but I know it's bad.." I said starting to tear up. "Awe Scar no, please don't cry." He standing up and walking over to my side to give me hug. I clung to Evan letting my tears soak his shirt. "I really don't know what I'll do without her." I cried. "Shh. It's ok. She won't bail on you. It's alright." He said calmly. I pulled away from him and wiped my tears trying to steady my breathing. "I want to go see her." I said. Evan looked at me with a worried look on his face. "Scarlet...are you sure that's the best thing for you?" He said taking my hands. "I have to see her." I said firmly. He sighed, "Ok, when?"

   "Right now."

   Evan looked at me in shock "Scar the day is almost over. Besides visiting hours are only on Saturdays. You know that. That's tomorrow. Surely you can wait that long." He said with a sincere voice. I huffed like a two year old. "I need to see her now, Evan." He stood "No Scar. Now lets go home. I'll drive you over there tomorrow." He grabbed his book put it in his bag and picked up his cup of coffee. I shouldn't have acted like such a child, now he's upset. "Come on Scar." He said walking to the door. I picked up my book and coffee and followed him. I got home and went to bed setting my alarm for the morning.

   I woke up and jumped out of bed. Walking into the hallway, I knocked on Evan's door. There was no answer so I opened the door to see him sleeping soundly. I walked over to his bed, "Evan" I whispered, touching his shoulder. "Evan, come on it's time to get up." I said once again, shaking him slightly this time. He rolled over and groaned "What time is it?" He asked. "Nine." I said. "Ok" and he rolled back over. I smiled and walked back out and into the bathroom. I took a shower, brushed my teeth, got dressed, and ate breakfast. As I was finishing my small breakfast of toast Evan came in rubbing his blue eyes with a yawn on his lips. "Evaaaan, what are you doing?" I whined. "Come oooon. Get ready! We have to gooo." I said pushing him out of the kitchen and back into his room. "Ok, ok, ok. I'm getting ready, I promise! Would you mind making me some toast?" I nodded pushing him into the doorway and closing his door. "Get ready!" I yelled, walking away.

   He walked out awhile later and I handed him his toast. "Come ooon, we have to go!" I said pulling him along and grabbing his keys. I opened the front door while giving him the keys and we walked over to his car. I pulled the door open and happily hopped in the front seat. Evan sat in the drivers seat and put the key in the ignition. "I can't wait to see her!!" I sqeal, as we pull out of the drive way. He smiled "You really miss her, huh?" "Yeah, I really do." I said, staring at the cafè as we passed. He grabed my hand making me look at him and giving me a comforting smile. "I can't help but think maybe she got worse becuase I left or if...she didn't..make it." I said my voice cracking. "Oh, Scar please don't think that way. I promise, everything will be ok." The rest of the ride was silent.

   I got out of the car and stepped onto the familiar sidewalk. The green bushes that I had left were now bursting with pink flowers. I could hear faint laughter coming from the window. My stomach did backflips. I didn't want to be here. She wasn't ok. I could feel it. I turned to Evan "Lets go home. I dont want to be here." I turned back to the car opened the door and sat down in my seat. I stared out the window as Evan got in. I know what he's going to say 'It'll be ok Scar. I promise she's ok. She wouldn't let you down'. My cheeks get hot and a lump in my thoat forms. I can feel the hot tears pool in my eyes but I blink them away. I can't do this. I wouldn't be able to go up to her and see her covered in cuts just like we used to. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if she died becuase she was lonely when I left. I wouldn't be able to live with myself.

   He sat there for a moment before speaking "Ok, I'll make a deal. I go in first to make sure she's ok and then I'll come out to get you ok?" I hesitated but nodded. He hopped back out of the car and opened the door to the entrance. I sat there watching the flowers wave in the wind. 'Pathetic.' That's probably what they're thinking. He has to sign in with my name. 'Hi, yes my sister is too sad and pathetic to come in here before I do so I have to sign in with her name. I'm sorry she's such an inconvenience.' Waste of space. Pathetic. Worthless. Hot tears licked the backs of my eyes and pooled onto my cheeks. I wiped them away but they were quickly replaced again. I must have been sitting crying alone for about five minutes but my tears came to a stop when Evan came back out, motioning with his hand for me to come over.

   I took a deep breath and opened the car door. So, she was ok...unless he was just messing with me. But he wouldn't do that, right..? No. He wouldn't do that. I stepped down onto the sidewalk again and looked at Evan. He walked over and took my hand and as we walked up he opened the door for me. We stepped in and automatically I was surounded. My old therapist had wrapped me in a warm embrace and the staff all gave me brief hugs and some of the ones I was closer to gave me a kiss on the cheek. I didn't hear much of what they were saying and I tried to keep up with everything but it was all a little too much. But never once did Evan let go of my hand and when I squeezed his hand he stepped in front of me and asked to give us a little room, which was easily given.

   He turned back around to me "Are you ok? Do you need anything?" I shook my head and started walking towards the front desk. The lady at the front smiled "No need to sign in, hun. You can go right in." I gave her a smile and walked through the door making my way to the main room. I looked around the tables, my eyes skimming over each one but I didn't see her so I checked again and then once more but she wasn't there. I felt the tears coming on again and I turned to look back at Evan but he wasn't there. His green eyes were now hazel and his short hair was now long and dark brown. I blinked an cleared my vision and she was standing right there. I pulled her into my arms and rested my face into her purple sweater letting my tears soak her sweater. She was here, she was ok.