Life - Life & Death Book 1

Chapter 3 - Zivena

I'm surrounded by an endless array of stars. Their bright light illuminates the heavens as I hang in time and space. Countless galaxies fill my vision and sting my eyes as they adjust to the worlds around me.
It takes me a moment to realize that I can't feel my body. The usual awareness of my lungs expanding, of the nerve endings in my skin, isn't there. I try to connect with my physical self but its as if my brain isn't relaying what my body is feeling. Moments pass before I start to feel myself breathe in and out. I can feel my hands on my arms but I still can't see my body. With so much of the universe shimmering around me, shouldn't I be able to get a glimpse of myself?
Panic begins to rise. Where am I? I tell myself to remain calm; I won't let my mind run away without logic. I'd fight against the feeling of impending doom.
In a huff I punch my hands to my side but instead of hitting air, my nails dig deep into my right thigh. My fingers brush against the scratches and I feel a warm stickiness. I curse into the silence.
You're an idiot. You know that, right? I think to myself and gaze around.
My curiosity flares then. "What is this place?" I mumble. My previous theories rush back, and I can feel my heart pounding.
As if in answer to my question a pair of eyes appear. They are a pale blue, like ice. Curiosity and surprise shine as they stare at me with interest. But I can see the pain and the brokenness that hide deep inside. I have a strong urge to dive into them, needing to tame the fierce winds within.
The eyes disappear. In their place two figures shrouded in black materialize, suspended in space. In an instant I know that it's an illusion - if I try to run towards them, they'd never get closer.
I'm pulled from my thoughts by a beaming red globe. It starts to pulse and an orange layer begins forming. In an instant, I'm transfixed. A harsh light begins radiating and I'm forced to shut my eyes. I can still feel it burning through my eyelids.
Without warning, a rushing noise fills the silence. My head throbs as I try to stifle the sound, covering my ears. Turning to the source, I find rocks hurtling towards me. Fear squeezes my heart as I wait for the inevitable thump against my skin, but it never comes. I suck in the air around me.
When I finally catch my breath, I turn to look at the formation. The rocks have solidified together to create the crust and the mantel. It hits me then. I'm witnessing the creation of Earth. If school had been like this, then I might've paid more attention.
A nervous excitement rises in my chest. Any words of complaint flee from my mouth as the mountains start to form; as creeks turn into rivers and lakes into oceans; plants grow and spread into forests and animals begin to live. I snort with laughter, I'm sure there's something metaphorical happening here. Like was it the chicken or the egg? Everything is happening in a fast forward motion and then it slows to present a living, breathing masterpiece. It's then that I start to fall.
I'm speeding fast towards Earth, too fast. It makes it hard for me to breathe. I can't even scream. It feels like my lungs are filled with wet sand. It feels as if the air is trying to peel me apart one layer at a time. First, my hair. Then, my skin. A bright light appears beside me and, without warning, transforms into a woman. A woman I've seen countless times before.
"Zivena, it's time to recognize who you are. Life and Death are out of balance." Her calm voice carries over the din of rushing air. For a moment it looks as if she's trying not to laugh.
"But I know who I am!" I want to yell but I can't find the energy to speak. I don't need someone making me doubt myself just as I'm about to die. Why would I want to die with doubt?
"You must trust me, Zivena. Take my hand." She holds out her hand and waits like it doesn't even faze her that we're falling.
"Would you rather die or be deceived?"
I don't hesitate. Not because I trust her but because if I want to live, I have no other option. I grab her hand and hold on for dear life as I watch the Earth speed closer towards us. I squeeze my eyes shut against the inescapable.
The rushing air seems to slow around me until it's just a gentle breeze and my body starts to shudder. Why aren't we dead yet?
I muster up all my courage to open my eyes, and see quite a sight.
We're floating above the treetops of a forest that stretches on for miles. Bluebirds are flying to and from their nests, feeding their young. A family of white-tailed deer skip through the beautiful wild flowers and bushes laden with purple berries. Snakes slither on the ground and wrap themselves around the trunks of trees. The trees range from tall and thick to thin and prickly. Every shade of green imaginable overtakes my vision and I revel in the smell of pure, fresh air. No humans have left their chemical footprint here.
All too soon the woman starts to tug on my hand and we glide towards a clearing. My feet land on grass so thick, I could easily fall asleep on it. I look down at my feet and –
Why the hell am I naked? I try to cover myself up as I look for something, anything to use. But with nothing around I do the best cover-up job I can manage, and slowly my tense shoulders relax. Blood has dried on my leg from the scratches, a twinge of pain runs down my thigh as the adrenaline wears off. Now that I know I'm alive, I soak in more of my surroundings.
The clearing is a flat plain surrounded by a ring of trees. Bunches of wild flowers are scattered under the sunlight, their floral scent mixing with the fresh air. As I begin to turn away I see a shadowed figure standing among the trees. When I look back, no one is there.
Forcing away the feeling of unease, I turn to see the woman. Her face is turned upwards and is studying the sky with interest. I stare in silent awe at the woman who has been plaguing my dreams for weeks. But I had only ever seen flashes of her. Now she stands in front of me in vivid detail as her flowing green hair seems to shimmer like a rain forest when the sun comes out.
I can tell from the way she stands that she is like me, one of the many that fight to protect human kind.
"There should be no shame towards your body, Zivena. You were born into this world naked and you were created to fit what this world needs." She turns to me and smiles. I want to wrap myself up and let her voice lull me to sleep.
However, what she says clicks in my mind.
"I never said I was ashamed of my body," I reply, looking down at my feet. But the blood that rushes to my face betrays me.
"Then why are you still trying to cover yourself up?" she asks, her head tilting.
"Because you at least have some vines and leaves covering you." I gesture at her nature get up, "What am I left with? I never said I was ashamed of my body but I also never said I was comfortable displaying it to the world."
She stares at me before chuckling and saying, "Touché."
Her laugh is like bells chiming on Christmas morning.
For a split moment she studies me; it feels as if long spidery fingers are sliding through my mind. Searching for something. "How did you stop us from falling?" I ask quickly so it would stop.
There is silence for a few seconds longer before she answers. "A simple trick that you will learn eventually."
"What's that suppose to mean? Guardians can't stop themselves from falling."
Again, she studies me. "What do you know about Guardians, Zivena?"
"I know that when they reach the age of eighteen their senses are enhanced. I know that they kill demons and keep order among vampires, werewolves and the Fae. I know that they protect human kind. I know that on my eighteenth birthday I will become one of them and I will serve until the day I die."
"Whom will you serve exactly?" she asks.
"I-" I pull up short. My parents have always told me that I would serve for the entirety of my life but they never told me who, or what, it was I'd serve. I've always assumed that higher ranking Guardians made the decisions. However, from the sounds of what this woman is telling me, there is more to it than I thought.
"There are many things you don't know yet, Zivena. This week will be stressful and confusing but you will make it through. I know it."
"There's nothing confusing about it. I know what to expect - my parents explained it to me. What aren't you telling me?" I ask, persistent. She doesn't reply. "Who are you anyway?"
"My name is Isis and I will be your guide and teacher. That is all you need to know for now." She looks toward the sky again and frowns. "It's almost morning. We don't have much time."
I look up and notice that the sun is clearly in the middle of the sky.
"Zivena, we must hurry! Come quickly!" Isis starts running deeper into the forest and looks back to see if I'm following her. I'm not.
"Come on."
"Ah, I don't really like running, you know, naked," I say awkwardly and glance down.
"I'll make you a dress if you'll come here," she calls from the tree line.
I nod in reply and walk towards her. Isis places her hand on a nearby tree and concentrates. Vines start to detach themselves and wind up her arm.
I approach her more cautiously now. What kind of Guardian of Life is she?
"How'd you do that?" I point to the vines now slung over her shoulder.
"Just another trick that you will learn in time, my dear." She smiles again but there is a glint in her eye. Is she enjoying this? "Now, I think I've got enough vine to cover you." She looks me up and down and frowns when she sees the three deep cuts on my leg. "Well that isn't good."
"You can say that again." I brush her off, "So what did you mean when you said that I'll be able to do tricks like that?"
"Here, let me put the vines on you first, then I can deal with that wound of yours," she says, ignoring my last question. I'm not sure how she is going to 'deal with that wound' unless she has a first aid kit hiding somewhere on her. It doesn't exactly look like her dress has pockets.
She holds out her hand, the vines hanging limp down her back, as she tries to reach out for my shoulder. I step back. This woman, Isis, speaks as if she knows all about Guardians but where's her proof? The Guardians I know definitely can't do 'tricks' like that.
"What do you think you're doing?" I jerk away from her hand.
"Calm down, Zivena. I'm not going to hurt you," Isis says, confusion clouding her face.
"How can I be sure of that?"
"Trust me–"
"I don't."
"-when I say," she continues like I didn't interrupt, "that you are far too valuable to this world. We can't afford to lose you – or kill you."
"Why would you say that? You don't even know who I am."
Her hand shoots out with impossible speed and grabs my shoulder. She still hasn't answered my question. The vines spring to life and are already moving towards me before I can step further away. They weave around my body and quickly turn into a dress like Isis's.
"Will this stay up?" I ask and tug at the vines. They obviously don't like that because they start to further constrict around me. "I take it back, sorry," I squeak. "So what are you exactly? Are you a fae of some kind? You kind of look like one with the green skin and all."
Isis' face darkens and hatred etches itself into her eyes and mouth.
"Do not associate me with those foul creatures," her voice trembles.
"Sorry," I murmur.
Isis starts towards the outskirts of the clearing.
"Hey, wait!" I call, "Who are you? Really?"
Isis stops in her tracks and turns back to me, a small smile on her face. "It may be hard to understand at the moment but you need to trust me when I say I can't tell you anything." She holds up her hand to stop my protests. "I am not trying to be cruel, Zivena. I just can't give you the answers yet."
"Well that's stupid," I mutter.
Surprisingly, Isis starts to laugh. "That's exactly what I thought when I was in your position. You and I are fairly similar."
"We're nothing alike."
"Well, suit yourself. Soon you'll come to realize differently," she laughs again and glances at my leg. Isis crouches down and places her fingers on the cuts, closing her eyes in concentration. An odd tingling rushes to the gashes. Before my eyes, they sew themselves up and turn into scars.
"How in the hell...?"
"Like I said. Don't ask." Isis stands back up and starts running.
"I hate all this cryptic crap," I mutter before following close behind her. Leaves and twigs crunch and snap under foot as we take a sharp turn right and start to sprint down a slope. From the corner of my eye I see a few hares poke their heads out of their homes.
Running along beside me are two gray wolf pups. Their clumsy tumbles make me smile.
After what has to be a few miles, we arrive in another clearing. A river stretches on for as far as I can see. I try to catch my breath while Isis paces along the bank. Minutes pass, and silence reigns. It's becoming clear we've finished our unexpected workout.
"What? We ran all this way to look at a river?"
Isis raises an eyebrow, "Yes."
I sigh.
"Zivena, how long have you been able to sense the emotions of humans?" Isis stops pacing and asks.
"How do you know that?" I ask, taken aback.
"Like I said before, you and I are very similar."
"And like I told you, we're nothing alike." I pointedly look at her.
"How long, Zivena?"
I stare at her for a while. How can she possibly know that? I sigh before answering, "I've been able to sense the emotions of humans and animals since before I can remember."
"Animals as well?" she asks, surprised.
"Yeah, of course. I could sense the wolf pups when we were running here."
"Interesting," Isis continues to watch me. I can almost feel her hands handpicking thoughts and memories from my mind. I shake my head in an attempt to get her out.
"Hang on. If we're 'similar,' does that mean that you can sense emotions and scars too?"
"Scars? What do you mean by scars?"
"Well, if we were similar you'd know about that," I say.
Isis looks at me, blank-faced but I can feel a sense of urgency running through her veins.
"You don't know about a person's emotional scars?" I ask her. She shakes her head in disbelief and gestures for me to go on. "I don't know how to explain it. It's like scars on someone's skin but it's on the inside. I can see how old or new they are; if they are healing or not. It shows me if someone is regretting something they've done or if they haven't gotten over something. You can't see that?"
"No. And I can only sense the emotions of humans, not animals. I've never heard of anything like this happening," she says, "And Zivena, not one of our reincarnations has been able to sense the emotions of animals. They're minute in comparison to human emotions. You must have tremendous power."
"What reincarnations? What power?" Confusion sweeps through me, "All I have is a sixth sense, nothing more. My parents even told me that."
"Now, moving on," Isis claps her hands, ignoring everything I just said. "Zivena, tell me what you see in front of you," Isis says.
I stare at her. Does she think I'm an idiot? "A river," I say, trying to keep the agitation out of my voice.
Isis sighs in exasperation. "Yes, Zivena, but what else? Think about what you can see, smell, hear and feel."
I try not to look annoyed as I concentrate on the things around me. I can see hundreds upon hundreds of fish swimming near the water's edge and birds flying in the distance. I can smell the clean, crisp air radiating from the trees and the deep, rich scent of the soil beneath my feet. I can hear the water lapping on the shore, the birds singing for their families and wolves yapping at each other. And I can feel the wind blowing softly through my hair, the sun's rays warming my skin and the grass between my toes. Everything is living and breathing.
After a few moments Isis speaks again. "Now factor everything together and what do you have before you?"
"Life."
"Yes, Zivena. Life is a very important part of the balance."
"What balance?" I ask.
"You know I can't tell you that. But I can tell you this: the next few days are going to be challenging. It may be a lot to ask but you must promise me that you will not take this out on your family. They understand a lot more than you think."
Isis smiles at me until suddenly she starts to crumble. A few moments later she is nothing but a pile of soil sitting at my feet.
Slowly the beautiful, green world fades away.