Life - Life & Death Book 1

Chapter 20 - Part 2 - Zivena

After finding no evidence around the camp fire, we resume the search. Two hours go by before we're called back to the arena. Forseti addresses all of the students.
    "Due to Ander going missing, we've decided to cancel this month's challenge. Artemis will be continuing the search from tomorrow morning so after we arrive back at the Hub no one's allowed to leave the bordering fences. Is that understood?"
    All of the students nod before Forseti motions for us to clear out.
    Mictain walks silently next to me as we make our way back. What is wrong with him? One minute he's ignoring me. The next, it's like nothing ever happened!
    He must notice because he turns to me, mouth opened. But nothing comes out. He frowns and struggles a little, trying to say something but like earlier he closes his mouth instead of actually uttering a word.
    Confusion and grief swirl around in him like oil and water.
    When we reach the common room I storm off to my dorm. Why is he acting like this? But before I can figure out the answer to that mystery, I see Mika sitting on her bed.
    Gods damn it! Why can't I just have two seconds to myself?
    Mika is glaring at me like the full force of the sun, burning my skin wherever it touches.
    "What?" I snap.
    "You must think you're better than me now, huh?" Mika snarls.
    "Excuse me?"
    "You heard me. Who told you about my skill? Was it Bikita? That bitch has had it in for me since I started."
    I stare at her. She's an idiot. A certified idiot. "You did! Are you seriously this annoyed over being beaten by someone who's had less training than you? Or are you so self-absorbed that you're angry that someone got past your 'special' skill?"
    She sits there, frozen. No comeback. That's what I thought.
    I shake my head and laugh in disbelief as I walk into the bathroom to have a shower. Maybe that'll clear my head.

✲✲✲✲✲

At dinner I watch as Vulcan picks at his food. There's still be no word about Ander. The teachers have gone out to search again. Hopefully they'll be able to find something that'll point to where Ander went. I tell Vulcan as much.
    "I doubt it. Artemis couldn't find anything when that hiker's body was found."
    "But this is different," Mictain speaks up.
    "Is it? That hiker had been missing for weeks before his body rocked up." Vulcan says, abandoning his food altogether. "The same thing will probably happen to Ander. His body will show up in two weeks, just like the hiker."
    "You can't think like that, Vulcan," Mictain says.
    "Yeah, well too late, isn't it?" Vulcan grabs his tray and dumps it by the trash before leaving the cafeteria.
     We sit in silence. How could one of our own go missing?
    "I hope he shows up safe," I say to Mictain as we continue to eat our food.
    Mictain nods, "Me too."
    "Do you think it's the same person?"
    "I think so. What's the likelihood that there's two people out in this forest kidnapping others?"
    Dinner's gone cold and I've lost my appetite.
    "Taregan wants to talk to us," Mictain says as I stand up to leave.
    "Oh?"
    "He left a message with another student before the teachers left."
    "And when does he want to talk to us?" I sit back down, pushing my tray away.
    "He said he'll be back before dinner finishes. So probably any minute now."
    "Right."
    Silence falls yet again. I sigh, frustrated.
    "I'm sorry," Mictain says, his voice quiet.
    "Are you really?" I shoot back.
    "There's just," he searches for the words. I can feel his desperation. Like he doesn't know what to say to make it better between us. "There's a lot you don't know."
    "Then tell me," I say. Now I'm the desperate one.
    Mictain searches my face. What is he looking for? Before he can say anything else, a tray piled high with food is slammed in front of us.
    "I hate forests," Taregan curses and starts eating. He looks at our startled faces. "Nothing personal, Zivena. There's just nothing methodical about them."
    "Um."
    "Isis always hated it when I banged on about nature."
    "You knew Isis?" I ask, taken aback.
    "Yes," he hesitates. "I knew her and Anubis." Taregan gestures towards Mictain before eating again.
    "Why didn't you ever tell us?" Mictain asks.
    Taregan shrugs, "Not much to tell."
    In an instant I know that Taregan is lying. But it's quickly covered by grief so I decide not to push the subject.
    "What did you need to talk to us about?" I ask.
    "I need to know how far away you are from recovering that memory, Zivena."
    I take a moment before saying, "I'm not sure. Something happened today that helped me to remember a little bit," I quickly glance at Mictain, "But it wasn't enough."
    Taregan nods. "We need you to get past it as soon as possible. I think if you had access to your full power, you would've been a great help today."
    Guilt grows quickly inside of me.
    "Zi," Mictain murmurs. "It's not your fault." He quickly turns to Taregan. "Did you really have to go there?"
    "She needs to understand what's at stake," Taregan shoots back. "The world needs her for a reason so she better hurry up."
    Is it me? Is the memory not coming to me because I don't want to remember it?
    "Something must be getting in the way," Taregan says to me.
    "I don't know what it could be though," I reply.
    "You're going to have to figure that out. And soon. We can't have anymore students go missing."
    "Do you think I want this?" I glare at Taregan.
    "Of course not. But you could help prevent this happening again."
    Before I can open my mouth, someone calls from the cafeteria doors.
    "Excuse me! Taregan, sir?" Mika walks swiftly to our table.
    "Yes, what is it?" Taregan asks.
    A dangerous smile appears on Mika's face. "When we arrived back at the Hub we were informed that we needed to report any strange behaviour or incidents; I have reason to believe that Zivena is somehow linked to the hiker's death and Ander going missing."
    The accusation is so insane that I can't hold it back. Laughter bursts out of my mouth. It's so loud and hysterical that the remaining students in the cafeteria turn in their seats to look.
    "Oh, gods! Are you serious?"
    Mika's face falters.
    "Yes." She turns to Taregan. "Zivena has been sneaking out of our room pretty much every night. She was out last night for hours."
    I snort. "Ander went missing during the day. How could I have anything to do with that? I was with Mictain the entire time."
    "Then why have you been sneaking out every night?"
    "I was training," I say truthfully.
    "Training," Mika scoffs. "Why would you need to train in the middle of the night?"
    "So I can whip your ass twice as fast in the next challenge." Mika had left herself wide open for that.
    She lunges at me, gloved hands ready to hit flesh. Without a sound Mictain leaps up and restrains Mika with little effort. He gives me a look and I smile.
    "Shut it! The both of you." Taregan doesn't need to yell to be heard.
    Mika jerks away from Mictain's grip. She glares at me before looking at Taregan.
    "What are you going to do about it? Are you going to interrogate her?"
    "No." Taregan holds his hand up before she can interrupt. "Now go back to your dorm before you embarrass yourself further."   
    Mika sputters angrily before realizing that it's not going to get her anywhere. She leaves quickly without looking at the students staring at her.
    Taregan sighs. "I can't wait to leave these teenagers behind. Too much drama!"
    Mictain takes his seat again and we share a look. Taregan's leaving?
    "Anyway." He turns his tired gaze to me. "Explain to me why you've been sneaking out?"
    "To train." I shrug. "Isis said that I need to stay away from people if I break past the memory block. Apparently it can be dangerous."
    "Fair enough. I'm not one to question Isis." Taregan continues to eat. "Just keep at it, Zivena. And lets hope nothing like this happens again."

✲✲✲✲✲

    "Don't worry about what Taregan said, Zivena." Mictain and I walk back to the common room. The night is cold as I shiver in my jumper.
    "Hard not to."
    "I can't imagine the amount of pressure you're feeling."
    I shrug and change the subject. "Aren't you cold?"
    Mictain looks at me with a small irritated frown. "No, not really."
    "Well I am," I begin to move faster towards the common room doors.
    "Zivena," Mictain calls. "You were the one who told me that I have friends here I can talk to. The same applies to you too."
    I turn to look at him. Recently, I hadn't noticed the scar on his face but tonight it stands out like the moon on a cloudless night. Standing there he seems so open, so... himself for the first time since I met him.
    Before I realize what I'm doing, I take a step towards him and kiss him on the cheek. His skin is cool beneath my lips but as I pull away I can see the blood rushing to his face.
    "Thank you," I say. I can feel his breath on my face. Mictain's eyes flicker to my mouth and something in my chest tries to pull me closer to him. But Mictain takes a step backwards; my hand is left hanging in the air.
    When had I grabbed his arm?
    I let my hand fall.
    "Ouch. Twice in one day. One more and I'm out." I don't look at him as I pretend to swing a baseball bat and walk through the common room doors. He doesn't follow me.
    I crash onto my bed the moment I get to my room, covering my face with a pillow. I try to relax my breathing. Could I let this pain in and use it to my advantage?
    I turn the light off, throw off my shoes and strip down to my undies before snuggling under my blankets. I fight the instinct to ignore the horrible emotions and bring down my mental wall. It's time to face them.
    At first it seems like all I can think about are the flashes I've already seen. Purple sneakers. Evert's angry face. A Central Park footpath. As I continue to force myself to relax, my chest begins to swell. With joy.
    Behind my closed eyes, I see small hands drawing something on an equally small desk. It's mine, filled with pencils, crayons, charcoal, pastels, paper and everything my eight year old self loved.
    An ache spreads through me, a tinge of homesickness and nostalgia. I miss my little studio. Sure, I have my iPad but it isn't the same as oil paints or the feel of a brush in my hands.
    I let myself revel in these momentary good feelings.
    The memory jumps. I see little legs wearing purple sneakers, running. Running fast. Behind me, I hear someone yelling but it's as if they're yelling through water. My heart is beating fast. Certainly faster than it should as I run and run and run.
    The trees around me are wailing. Wailing for a sorrow they can't fix. All they can do is help to protect that small person running past them.

✲✲✲✲✲

I start to stir when I feel my scalp burning. Jumping out of bed, I find a thick jumper flung over my desk chair and throw it on. The burning is getting worse and I gingerly touch the top of my head.
    Rushing into the bathroom, I'm furiously scratching my head as I check in the mirror. But nothing's there. I shove my head under the shower nozzle and run the water as cold as I can. It doesn't help. The burning and itching is getting worse. I rummage through my things to find some aloe vera gel and empty half the bottle onto my head. It does nothing.
    Throwing the bottle into the corner of the bathroom, I start to scratch the hell out of my scalp and soon my nails come away with blood and skin.
    Angry, tired tears build in my eyes. Could the worst day in recent recorded history please just give me a break?
     I carefully dry my hair, and my towel comes away covered in spots of blood. I climb back into bed. I let my power form in my hand, placing it on my head to heal the small scratches.
    I collapse back onto my pillow and force myself to sleep. I figure that I'll need all I can get from here on out.

✲✲✲✲✲

The beeping of Mika's alarm goes off, waking me up from the very little sleep I had. I yawn, sit up and swing my legs over the side of my bed. After rubbing the sleep out of my eyes, I notice Mika staring at me.
    "Do you mind?" I snap.
    Her mouth opens but nothing comes out. Her black eyes wide, she points at me.
    "What?"
    "You... your... your hair. Are you...?"
    "My hair?" My hand goes to my ponytail but it's still there. Nothing had been burned off or cut off so what the hell is she going on about?
    "You're the Goddess of Life!" Mika exclaims.