Life - Life & Death Book 1

Chapter 9 - Zivena

"Zivena, you've known about our society your whole life. But obviously there are a few things that we haven't told you." Dad starts the family meeting. We're gathered at the kitchen table.
"Who's Leucetius?" I blurt out.
Mom and Dad share a look. Ulfric and Evert are gaping. Ahren looks like he wants to say something but stays silent. Ahren told me earlier that friends of his and Ulfric's had taken over from their searching so they could be part of the meeting.
"So?" I prod.
Evert is the first to react. "Did Ahren spill? What did you say to make him break the rules?" Everyone stares, as the words drip with loathing. And I do what I always do when someone starts screaming at me. I get defensive and scream back.
"I didn't do anything to anyone! I'd never make Ahren tell me anything that'd get him in trouble. Yeah, I've asked him over the years, but I've asked everyone. They never say jack shi–"
"You lying little bitch!" Evert spits. "You think you're so special. You've always gotten special treatment–"
Mom abruptly stands up, her chair falling behind her. A palpable force begins to resonate from her, it fills the kitchen and I can feel it pushing against my skin as if I'm in the way. It's clear by the others reactions that they can feel it too, even if there isn't anything to see. All this power, all this fury, is pointed directly at Evert.
"Don't. You. Dare speak to your family like that! I will not tolerate this sort of behavior in my house! Zivena is smart. It wouldn't be hard for her to figure it out by herself. She did not find out from any of us, so don't jump to the conclusion. The Kovač and Hölzer families have been exceptional, law abiding, Guardians for generations and I will make sure that it stays that way."
I look at her, shocked. Her dark green eyes are gone. In their place are gold cat eyes. Her long honey blonde hair has turned a brilliant gold as well. What the hell is happening to my mother?
Dad stands up and tries to calm her. Evert stays seated and waits, a smirk on his face.
He starts, "You're clinging to tradition, Mom. We should have more power. We deserve more."
"Leave it to the Council, Evert. Amon created us so we could serve and protect humankind, not rule over them," Ulfric says.
"You're all idiots. Humans are weak. They don't deserve to live if they can't defend themselves."
"Son, you're the fool for seeking more power where there's none," Dad says, "I suggest you leave. I don't want you in this house again. You don't treat family like this."
Evert stares down Dad, but gets up, slamming the door in his wake.
Mom takes a deep breath, her hair and eyes turning back to normal. "It's a sad day when family becomes divided."
"I'm sure he'll come to his senses, love." Dad strokes her back, "Zi, I'm sure you have questions."
I nod dumbfounded and point at Mom. "How the hell did your eyes and hair change?"
Mom sits back down and takes a deep breath. I can't even remember the last time Mom lost her temper...
"We will get to that soon, Zivena. There is more important information you need to know first."
"There's something more important then Mom looking like a cat?"
Ulfric laughs, "You can't even imagine, Zi."
Dad smiles and says, "I'll try to keep it short and sweet then. Gods and goddesses are real. They lead the Guardians and help us." I can feel my mouth dropping.
"They make up a Council. Only two people have more power than them," Mom continues, "Life and Death. They make the final call on everything. They create new laws – change old ones and they are called in as the last line of defense."A shiver runs up my spine.
I notice my parents share a look but Mom carries on, "The Council is spread all over the world. London, Dubai, Sydney, Beijing and, of course, New York City."
"So Leucetius really exists? He really created a thunderstorm?" I think back to what I'd seen on the news and struggle to comprehend that kind of power.
Dad nods, "Each deity has an extra 'talent,' you could say. Without them, the world would collapse. So, like you figured out, Leucetius controls thunder and lightening. So we all know when he's in a foul mood." Dad tries for a joke.
I nod, laughing weakly. I can't help wondering what Isis is. She seems different. I shake my head. Focus. "Do humans know about the gods?"
"Of course. It's hard to keep something like this hidden. Where do you think mythology comes from? Humans weaved stories to try to understand the supernatural."
"What about more recently though?"
Dad pauses. "There've been wars between Guardians and humans. Usually because someone saw something they shouldn't have."
"But why? We're here to protect them," I ask, confused.
"There was a time, thousands of years ago, when humans knowingly lived with the Guardians and gods. When the decision was made to keep ourselves hidden from humankind it took over two hundred years for us to become legends then another two hundred to become myths.
"In that time humans passed down our stories which morphed into religions based on our gods. As time moved on to become history, no one remembered the real gods and the real protectors. The gods became God and the protectors became Saints. Our history formed most of the religions the humans follow today.
"Now imagine if a believer of one of these religions found out about our gods. They might turn to their religious leaders and demand answers. Those leaders would turn their followers against us no matter how we tried to reason with them.
"Once the wars were over," Dad continues, "those figureheads practically did our jobs for us. They convinced the soldiers that they had been fighting demons that had inhabited human bodies. From there the false beliefs spread."
"The only humans that are aware of our world now work for the Council," Ulfric adds.
We sit there, all of us consumed by our own thoughts. In a way, I can understand where Evert's coming from. Why protect humans who would so easily turn on us?
"I think we've broken Zivena," Ulfric smiles into the silence. "She hasn't spoken for five minutes but there is still so much more to tell you, Zi!"
"There's more?" I blanch.
"She speaks! At last!" Ulfric laughs manically. "Don't worry Mom. We'll get a bit more peace and quiet once she leaves."
"Shut up Ulfric!" I give Mom a pleading look.
Mom leans forward with a smile, "When a Guardian is born, an animal chooses to be their guide through life. Each guide will appear in the Guardian's dreams and when they turn eighteen, the guide gifts the Guardian with a particular power that usually represents the animal."
"Um." What the hell is she on about?
Dad chuckles under his breath, "You're not making it easy for her to understand."
Mom leans back and crosses her arms, "Fine. You explain it then."
Dad rolls his eyes, "Watch and learn, baby." He faces me, "When I was born, your grandmother was told that a lion had chosen to be my guide. Whenever I need guidance – no matter how big or small, that lion appears in my dreams. When I turned eighteen and became a Guardian, my guide gifted me strength, even more then the average Guardian. Does that make more sense?"
I nod slowly, "I guess so."
"When your brothers were born, someone on the Council sent out a letter informing your father and I which animal had chosen each of them. Dad and I decided when our first son was born that we would give all our sons German names to follow my ancestry," Mom smiles.  "Evert's guide is a boar. Ulfric–"
"Mine's a wolf. It's why I'm so popular with the ladies," Ulfric grins, and Mom gives him an exasperated look.
Ahren bursts out laughing, "What ladies? I never see you talking to anyone, especially not someone of the opposite sex!"
Ulfric glares at him, "As a matter of fact, there is someone that finds me attractive."
Ahren snorts, "I doubt that, bro!"
"Ahren, you do realize that you and Ulfric look the same, right?"
Ahren glares at me and is about to say something when Mom speaks up.
"You're both very beautiful boys," Mom says.
"Ugh, Mom! You have to say that," Ulfric groans.
"You boys are lucky you ended up with my unfailing good looks," Dad joins in with a smug grin. "Your mother turned me down more times then I could count but eventually she just couldn't deny how attracted she was to me."
Mom laughs. "Stop being dramatic. I turned you down twice."
"See boys!" Dad winks. "My charms were irresistible. Your mother couldn't fight them for long."
I fall into a fit of giggles as my brothers pepper Dad with questions. Mom rolls her eyes but the smile that spreads across her face makes me realize how perfect my parents are for one another.
"Anyway, Zivena," Mom speaks up above the noise. "Ahren's guide is an –"
"An eagle!" Ulfric cuts Mom off.
"Hey! I wanted to tell Zivena," Ahren frowns at his brother.
Ulfric quickly glances at Mom, suddenly a little kid needing permission to go into a toy store.
Mom laughs, "Go ahead."
He takes a deep, purposeful breath before opening his mouth –
"Lioness!" Ahren calls and quickly dances out of arms reach of Ulfric. "Lenia's guide is a lioness!"
Ulfric leaps up and tackles Ahren to the ground, taking a few dishes with him. All Ahren can seem to do is laugh.
"Boys! I thought I told you not to break anything!" Mom jumps up.
Dad and I share a look before laughter bubbles into the room.
Mom leans over the two of them and slaps them around the head.
"You better stop fighting by the time I get the broom," Mom snaps.
I raise an eyebrow at Dad, "Lioness? Seems you and Mom were made for each other."
"Yep," he grins, "Your mother is the fastest Guardian I've met."
Within moments Mom appears with a broom and pan, shoving them into my brothers' hands.
"So boar, wolf and eagle?" I ask. "Seems like a weird combination to me."
Dad nods, a humorous look on his face as he watches my brothers clean up their mess. "Evert was gifted with thick skin that is hard to cut, Ahren's eye sight is astounding. Ulfric is a –"
"Dad, no! I want to tell her," Ulfric yells from the floor.
Dad rolls his eyes before getting up to pour himself a whiskey. "Alright, don't boast though. Please."
Ulfric grins.
"So," I prod, "What gift were you given?"
"Here we go," I heard Ahren mutter.
"I'm special, you see," Ulfric wiggles his eyebrows.
"We've always known you're special, Ulfric," I smirk.
"Hey–" he cries, outraged.
"Get on with it already!" Ahren yells.
"Way to ruin it, guys," Ulfric pokes his tongue at us. "I was given two gifts."
"That can happen?" I ask.
Dad nods and Ahren rolls his eyes.
"Yep!" Ulfric grins. "It doesn't happen very often though. Apparently it shows 'strength of character' if a guide gives a Guardian more then one gift."
"What are they?"
"My sense of smell is heightened and I can communicate with wolves," Ulfric shrugs, "I don't have much use for it unless we have a case where they're located or something."
I frown, "You can talk to wolves?"
"I wish! Nah, I can use them to help me hunt or help me find something. I can't 'talk' to them."
"That's pretty cool though," I say, then grin.
"Yeah, it is." Ulfric grins back.
It hits me then, and I feel stupid for not thinking of it earlier.
"What animal is my guide?" I ask, eager.
"You're only allowed to find that out when you reach the training facility, and a Council member is present."
I deflate a little at that.
Ulfric gets up to grab some drinks for everyone from the fridge, and it reminds me of that first morning he was back.
"Did you really fall down some stairs, Ulfric?" I ask him.
Ahren and Ulfric start laughing and the mood in the room shifts.
"Yep, but I didn't fall on some pot plants," Ulfric sniggers.
"What was it then?"
"A werewolf," Ahren snorts.
Mom clears her throat. "You both know it's not a laughing matter. You could've been seriously injured."
"But I wasn't! I fell down the stairs and onto the thing just perfectly enough for my knife to accidentally stab him through the heart," Ulfric explains to me, his face lighting up with the story.
"So in other words, it was the biggest fluke ever," I laugh.
We continue to tease Ulfric and I notice Mom slip out of the kitchen and return with two massive boxes. She places them on the kitchen table and waits patiently for my brothers to quiet down.
I look at my parents expectantly, "Is this my present?"
They nod and I race to open the smaller box that sits on top. Inside is a pair of black leather boots with thick soles and armored plating. Neat. It was better than any Doc Martens I owned. I place them to the side as I rip into the bigger box and find a pair of soft black gloves. Small pieces of armor fleck over the knuckles and a weird grippy material cover the palms and fingers.
Under the gloves is a high-necked, long sleeved shirt. It has the same armor and shiny material. There was a definite theme here. I pull out the final item: a pair of pants made of the same materials.
"You know, usually when someone has their eighteenth birthday they get a car; maybe an apartment, if their parents are loaded. But no, my parents give me an awesome scuba suit."
"It's not a scuba suit! It's Guardian fighting gear," Mom says, sounding offended.
"Mom, I'm kidding," I laugh. "What's it made out of anyway?"
"It's a material that we nicknamed demon hide. It's been infused with magic, so it makes it almost impossible to cut."
"But it's so thin and soft," I say, wonder flooding my voice.
"Trust me, you won't be saying that when a demon tries to claw your leg off," Ulfric jokes.
I look at him, surprised. "Did that almost happen to you?"
"Yeah, before I cut the thing's head off."
I blow a breath of hot air out. "Do these things happen to you a lot, Ulfric?"
"Yep," he grins and I just shake my head in exasperation.
"You might need something else to help kill those demons you have to go up against," Ahren smiles and hands me a large gift bag.
I take it and peek inside. Well, that's not what I expected. I let it fall out of the bag. What lay before me is the most beautiful dagger I've ever seen.
"It's an Indian katar; a punching dagger. It can penetrate thick armor and it's the perfect weapon for close combat," Ulfric says, with a matter-of-fact tone.
"It's amazing," I breathe.
"In the first year of training, a Guardian chooses one weapon to master before they graduate and we thought that maybe the katar could be yours."
I nod and look back at the weapon in my hand. The scabbard is a dark rich mauve material; a gold buckle in the middle tightens it to the blade. Gold thread is weaved through the velvet to make intricate patterns and gold plating covers the tip and edges, so the blade doesn't cut the fabric.
I take the scabbard off and see a double-edged blade as long as my forearm. The hilt is shaped like an H and gold is inlaid in the silver, matching the patterns on the scabbard. I take hold of the middle grip, and I punch forward, away from my family, feeling the blade rip through the air like it's paper.
"I will definitely be choosing this," I sigh, whirling around the kitchen punching the air.
"You'll have to learn how to use that properly first." Mom laughs as she takes the present from my hands. "Speaking of which, you better go pack. Your flight leaves early tomorrow morning."
I hug everyone for my gifts and race upstairs to shove them in a suitcase with everything else from my life.

✲✲✲✲✲

A knock on the front door distracts me from my packing. Guilt and shame flare as I realize that my thoughts have been consumed with gods and false history and I haven't thought of Owen once since before the family meeting. I rush from my room and down the stairs, almost tripping over my feet. I stop on the bottom step, hand gripping the railing.
Voices fill the entryway. My brain is too frazzled to take them in. But it's strange that the emotions I sense are processed in an instant. The dread. The disbelief. The grief.
An unfamiliar Guardian is standing by the front door. The rest of my family crowd around him, speaking quietly. I know it's not to keep the information from me. There'd be no point now that I've transformed. Instead it's the tone that's reserved for a funeral. For mourning.
For the dead.
Dad turns to me, his young face showing his eighty years of life. "Zivena." God, he even sounds old. He holds out his hand, offering comfort but I can't take that last step.
I turn and walk back upstairs. My bedroom door closes with a soft click behind me. The smallest of movements sap all my energy, leaving me wafer thin and breakable.

✲✲✲✲✲

Some time later there's a quiet knock on my door. I don't remember opening my mouth to talk but I must have as the door cracks open, letting in a small sliver of light.
"Hey, Zi," Ahren says. "Do you mind if we come in?"
I nod and sit up in bed, my arms around my knees.
Ahren and Ulfric enter my room, closing the door behind them. One sits on the edge of my bed while the other leans against the wall, arms folded.
None of us say anything for a long time. There are distant noises coming from downstairs but I tune them out. Details don't matter now. My friend is gone.
"I trained and worked with a brilliant Guardian called Orson," Ulfric says to the floor. "We brainstormed a lot of great ideas together and even the Council approved a few of our inventions. He couldn't stomach a lot of violence. He preferred his lab and focused on things he could build rather then what could be destroyed. He was shot in the head a few months ago in a drive by shooting."
Ahren and I watch our brother and wait for him to gather his emotions.
"Every death reminds you of the last. It never gets easier no matter what people tell you. What I try to remind myself is that if I miss them this much, then they must have been someone truly worth while. And I'm glad I had even a small amount of time with them."
His grief fills the dark corners of my room. It's rare to see him so serious and that's what hits me the hardest.
I get up and wrap my arms around my sweet brother, holding him tight as he does the same for me.
"I know how you're feeling Zi. Owen was a great friend to you and he was always so kind, even when he fell off the rails. You deserved a friend like him and he deserved your kindness in turn."

✲✲✲✲✲

My brothers leave soon after that. Ahren pulls me into a tight hug and tells me that he'll be coming with me to West Virginia. I hadn't realized how much I've been dreading leaving home and leaving my family behind. The relief of knowing that Ahren is coming with me makes it seem less scary. Less lonely.
I crawl back into bed and under the covers. What Ulfric said runs in my head and I try to breathe through the pain and I remind myself that I'm happy I met Owen all those years ago.