Life - Life & Death Book 1

Chapter 15 - Zivena

It's now the end of September and training is blurring together, creating whirlwinds of fatigue, anger and satisfaction. I can now heal minor wounds, and I help Airmid in the ward. In return, Airmid gives me advice.

Isis has taught me how to bend the elements and I'm able to manipulate all four well in my dreams, but not so well in real life.

"I don't want to alarm you, but there seems to be some sort of wall blocking your powers," Isis says cautiously.

"What do you mean?" I reply, annoyed.

"I mean what I say. Let me explain," she interrupts my protests. "It looks as if your mind is subconsciously blocking them. You should be able to do more with healing and definitely more with the elements. By now you should have shown obvious strength in one of the elements, but you haven't."

"What's causing it then?"

"It may have been caused by the sudden change in life and it isn't uncommon, so don't worry."

"Okay... is there a way to get rid of it?"

Isis hesitates. "Yes, but it can be quite dangerous." How bad can it be? If I can remove that wall I can access my full power, but as I watch Isis I know something is amiss. There's something she isn't telling me, and it's something big.

She sighs. "Well, it depends on how much power you have. If you break past that wall and you don't have full control of the elements, then it's likely you could kill someone."

Isis still hasn't told me everything. I have a feeling that she isn't going to. "So can I do it without killing someone? 'Cause you know, that would be preferable."

Isis gives me a flat look and says, "You're going to have to be by yourself in an area where there's no one around."

"The forest beside the center," I think aloud.

"I'll guide you through what you have to do," Isis offers.

For the rest of my lesson I don't practice manipulating the elements. Instead I learn how to open and relax my mind, how to sort out my emotions, and how to remove that wall.

Just before Isis lets me out of my dream, I hesitate. A question that's been building up for months finally tumbles out of my mouth.

"How'd you die?"

Isis's face falls. Unimaginable grief swells around us as Isis paces in front of me.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked."

"Don't apologize for something that I should have told you sooner," Isis says. She takes a steadying breath before facing me.

"I'm guessing you've found out about Life and Death falling in love, which," Isis rushes to add, "I can tell you right now it is not something you can control. The universe guides two souls that are destined for one another into the new incarnations of Life and Death. You could say that Mictain is your soulmate."

I pull a face.

"Anubis, the God of Death before Mictain, was my husband. My best friend. Our souls merged to become one. We were and still are madly in love with each other, but even we can't escape death. Only Amon and Marzanna can live for eternity," Isis pauses as if trying to choose her next words with care.

"One night I was woken up by the worst pain I've ever experienced. It was as if someone had rammed their fist into my chest and was trying to claw out my heart. Anubis lay next to me, his power too much for his body to cope. Our souls were being ripped apart. They don't tell you, Zivena, the emptiness you feel once someone's soul separates from yours. You become hollow. I knew I couldn't live with the emptiness. Eventually my body came to the same realization and my power overtook me. Forcing my soul to follow Anubis to the next world. To this world."