Life - Life & Death Book 1

Chapter 6 - Part 1 - Zivena

"Zivena?" I hear Mom call. "Are you ready to leave? The reservation is for one, sweetie."
"Coming!" I call back and find some suitable clothes and get ready.
I give myself a shock when I look in the mirror to fix my hair. I don't know if it has anything to do with the lighting in my room or if I'm just imagining it but my eyes look brighter somehow. 
"Hurry up, Zi!" Ulfric calls up the stairs just as I close the door behind me. "We're getting hungry!"
"Yeah, yeah. I'm coming! Chill out," I call back. The entryway is packed with my family and friends all waiting by the door. My parents and Imogen all turn to stare at me. "What?" I ask, confused.
"Nothing," Mom smiles, "Happy birthday sweetheart."
"Let's go eat!" I fist pump the air and stride to the door.

✲✲✲✲✲

The restaurant is only three blocks away, so we set off towards Broadway. Evert takes the lead and Ahren and Ulfric keep up with him. Owen and Imogen are walking just behind them having an in-depth conversation about their favorite movies, while I walk beside Jared. He barely said hello to me. Mom and Dad are walking behind us, holding hands.
The sun casts shadows down side streets and alleyways. The city buzzes around us with constant car horns and wails of sirens.
There is a sudden onslaught of frustration, anger and - I groan internally – attraction as Jared turns to me and blurts, "You don't like me do you?"
I'm so distracted that I almost run down an old lady and I hastily murmur an apology. Her eyes become slits as she totters away muttering under her breath. She bustles past my parents and I notice how they watch her pass with avid attention. When the old woman notices, her eyes grow wide and dart to my brothers and quickly back to my parents. She ducks her head and hurries off.
"Well?" Jared prods, not having realized that something weird had happened.
"I do like you, Jared...." I say, cautiously. Haven't I dropped enough hints for him to understand?
"Just not the same way as I like you?"
I tread carefully. "To me, you're another brother, like Owen. I've known you half my life."
"Is there a way you could get past that?"
"No."
"Why not? It isn't because of what I did to you last year?"
Memories from that time flash through my mind. Jared's contorted face, trembling fists. My eye swelling up as anger flares through his body. And Imogen – fear for Imogen's safety. Pulling her behind me before he'd gone in for round two.
I blink. Take a breath. "It has nothing to do with that. You know I forgave you the moment I visited Owen in the hospital. I just don't have the time to be in a relationship. Plus," I mumble under my breath, "you don't deserve someone like me."  Even if I were interested in him, nothing could happen there. I'm leaving to train soon. It wouldn't work out.
"Why would you say that I don't deserve someone like you? Shouldn't I be the one to decide that?"
Shit. He wasn't supposed to hear that. "Jared, I'm rude, sarcastic, extremely blunt, and inconsiderate. Nobody should want to be with me."
"That's not true. I've seen the way you are with Imogen. I know it's all an act. I've seen you rush an injured animal to the animal rescue places. The only people you trust are Imogen and your family. They are the only people that know the real you. I've only seen flashes and I know that I like what I've seen." Thoughts of the turtle flitter into my mind but I push them back down as his words sink in.
"It doesn't change the fact that I don't have time to be in a relationship," I repeat after a short pause.
"What do you mean?" He frowns, disappointed.
"I'm looking out for Imogen. I don't want her to be alone and if I start dating someone, it's bound to happen and it would be my fault," I lie, though the part about looking after Imogen is true.
"You don't need to be responsible for anyone other than yourself."
"I don't need to be anything. I want to look out for her, I have since the day I met her. I want to be her closest friend, the person she comes to when she's upset. And I need her too, you know. If I abandon her then she won't have anyone else like that. I know what you're going to say," I blurt when I see the confusion on Jared's face. "I know I'm leaving for a year but she'll still have you and Owen."
"I still don't get it," Jared frowns, "What's that go to do with us dating?"
"There is no 'us' Jared," I say a little more forcefully. "There will never be an 'us'. I'm leaving for a year and I'm looking out for Imogen. I also have no feelings for you. I'm sorry for being harsh but can you please drop it?"
Jared doesn't say anything. He just glares at me before striding ahead to join Imogen and Owen.
I slow down, shoulders slumping forward, and wait for Mom and Dad. Mom gives me a big smile and wraps an arm around my shoulder.
"That sounded like an interesting conversation," Dad grins but his eyes are ringed with exhaustion. Lately, I've noticed it more - how tired he is. The Central Park case must really be getting to him.
"Argh, boys," I roll my eyes and jab Dad in the ribs. "What time do you want me home? Will we have training this afternoon?"
Dad looks at me, "Considering it's your birthday, Zi, I don't think you'll have time for training."
His words are nice enough but I can tell by his tone and emotions that he isn't talking about spending all day eating cake, even though that sounds amazing. I'm left with a feeling of dread sitting in the pit of my stomach.

✲✲✲✲✲

When we reach the restaurant, we notice the price to size ratio isn't exactly what we had in mind. We share a look before Ulfric jumps on his phone to find somewhere more suitable. Imogen gives us an exasperated look as we set off towards another street off Broadway.
Our next stop is more fruitful. I try to hide my laugh as the waitress's face flits from 'this must be a joke' to 'they can't be bloody serious' to 'I'm going to get such a big tip from this.'
"How do you guys eat so much?" Owen gapes at us. His order is only a fraction of mine. I shrug in reply.
We sit there and talk about stupid nothings. Ahren, Ulfric and Owen joke around but Jared barely says a word and keeps glancing at me. Even though the conversation is casual between my friends and family, there's a pressure in the air. It's the horrible feeling of watching someone trying to pop a balloon; you know there's going to be a bang but you don't know when.
The bang comes in the form of Jared. The idiot. He leans across the table, cutting off Imogen as she tells my mom about her little jewelry business and says loud enough for the whole table to hear. "So what do you do in the family business Evert?" I freeze, food half chewed in my mouth. What the hell is he doing? And why Evert? Evert of all people!
Evert looks up from his food, a look of annoyance on his pompous face. "Excuse me?"
"You know, the security business your parents own. What's your position?"
I choke on my food and shove Jared on the shoulder. "What's wrong with you?"
"Seeing as you won't tell me where you're going for a whole year," Jared sneers, "I thought I'd ask your family."
"Seriously, Jared?" Owen shakes his head. "Can't you just let it go?"
"Nope." Jared doesn't even look at Owen, he keeps his gaze on my parents. "So? What are you making Zivena do? Does she have to manage a whole team or is the security business just a front for organized crime or something?"
Ulfric burst out laughing. "Whoa, Zi! A security business? That's a good one!"
Jared stares intently at Ulfric, trying to gauge the situation.
"Are you serious, Zivena?" Evert snarls. "Isn't one friend knowing enough?"
"Calm down, Evert," Ahren sighs and takes another big bite of steak. "She obviously hasn't told them anything otherwise Jared wouldn't be asking these questions."
No one says anything for a moment. The silence becomes a bit stagnant and then Owen finally breaks it, "So you already know what's going on Imogen." It wasn't a question.
Damn, he clues on quick.
"Umm," Imogen looks like a deer caught in headlights with those big doe-eyes. "Well, I've sort of - sort of known for a while."
"What!" Jared explodes, Imogen flinches.
"Can you shut the hell up?" I snarl in his ear. There are too many people watching now and things could get awkward if my family's secret gets spilled in the middle of a human restaurant.
Jared opens his mouth but Mom interrupts him, "You are being incredibly rude Jared Wilkinson."
Oh, shit! The look on my mom's face could scare the fire right out of a flame demon! I haven't seen that look since Ulfric accidentally set fire to his bed when he was seventeen.
Jared shut his mouth so quickly that I think I hear a tooth crack.
"Now, if you'll lower your voice we can talk about your obscene accusations without someone overhearing."
I try so hard not to laugh at the shocked and horrified look on Jared's face.
"Right," Mom turns to me, "Why didn't you mention to me and your father earlier that you were having trouble keeping Jared and Owen out of this?"
The laughter dies in my chest and I know that my face now matches Jared's.
"What?"
"You heard me, Zivena."
"I - I don't know. I didn't think about it."
"That much is obvious," Evert hisses from the other end of the table.
"Keep a lid on it, Evert," Dad says as he eyes off the cake stand near by.
Mom doesn't look at either of them as her gaze softens a bit, "Zi, I would I have told you that it's fine to tell Jared and Owen. Yes, those two have made some seriously bad decisions but they have proven to be good friends."
"Are you serious, Mom?" Evert asks. "Are you seriously going to let them in on it?"
Mom shrugs, "I've said my piece, Evert. Just don't forget the friends you told when you were younger."
"It'll be awesome not having to hide it around them," Ulfric grins. At this Jared and Owen look at me, curiosity burning.
Evert rolls his eyes and huffs. "They'll find out eventually anyway," Ahren says to him. "What's the harm in it being now?"
Evert doesn't say anything. Instead he stands up and glares at me. "Once again, Zivena gets what she wants." He storms out. The prick.
"Who wants cake?" Dad asks, breaking the tension.
"Oh my god, yes please!" I scramble to finish the rest of my salad as Dad goes up to the counter and orders the entire cabinet.
"I'm sorry, Mrs Kovač," Jared says.
Mom gives him a humorous look. "It's alright Jared but for gods sake, please call me Lenia."