Life - Life & Death Book 1

Chapter 34 - Mictain

Hod stands beside me as we watch two Guardians gently remove Ulfric's wrapped body from the hearse.
​"Why do Guardians burn their dead?" I find myself asking.
​"We believe that once the body is burned, the soul will not be able to find its way back. We create a clear path for the soul to travel so it does not stay in this world," Hod replies. We're both wearing heavy black coats to protect us from the frigid air.
​"Who builds the pyre?"
​Hod regards me with something akin to kindness. "It's tradition for the family members to."
​"Is this something every Guardian family does?"
​Hod dips his head, "Yes, it is. You would've seen your parents and uncle burned, if I'm not mistaken."
​"This is the first funeral I've been too," the words are as quiet as the woods surrounding us. "No one even told me." Loneliness raises it's somber head inside of me.
​Hod and I continue to stand in silence. Snow covers the branches of the trees around us, hardly stirring in the breeze. Others gather nearby as a lone car pulls up. Four figures, bundled in black, walk towards us, towards the pyre cradling their son, their brother.
​Lenia stands tall as she leads her family forward. Lyov follows close behind his wife, Ahren not far from his side. Zivena brings up the rear. Her usually open face is closed off to the witnesses. Her brilliant green hair stands out against the white fields and trees. The wind picks it up playfully, bringing life to the blank world around us.
​Zivena stops for a moment to speak with Artemis, gesturing to someone behind me. Artemis nods but Zivena is already walking away. I watch on as Artemis approaches Nascha and guides her to the front of the group so she can stand behind the Kovač family.
​Artemis comes back to stand beside me and murmurs under her breath, "Zivena needs you right now." I'm about to shake my head when Taregan, who I didn't notice standing in front of us, turns around and grabs my arm. He pushes me gently in the direction of the girl with green hair. I take my first step towards the right choice. Towards Life.
​The moment I stand next to Zivena, I see her posture relax. She doesn't look at me, doesn't take her eyes off her brother. I find I can't take my eyes off her. Movement on her other side catches my attention. A Guardian hands Lenia an unlit torch and as she turns, I assume she will want Zivena to light it. But she doesn't. Lenia passes by Zivena and stands in front of me instead. A cold fire burns behind those gold cat eyes.
​Lenia's eyes never waver. Dark energy courses through me, gathering a fire from deep within. My power flows between me and the torch, black flames flicker and catch on the cloth.

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​
It takes hours for the pyre to burn. Noon becomes dusk and the Kovač's continue to watch the fire. Hod, Artemis and Taregan have remained behind, keeping watch over the grieving family. All the other Guardians left hours ago.
​Darkness falls and the night grows colder still. Our three committee members make their way out the gate and I turn to leave with them.
​"No," Zivena croaks, "don't go." It sounds as if she hasn't spoken in days. I remain by her side.
​The family doesn't move until the pyre is smoldering ash and an unmarked archway of wisteria is left behind, the blossoms shining in the moonlight.
​Feeling awkward, I stand to the side as they hug each other. Zivena places a gentle kiss on her father's cheek, smiling sadly at him before sharing a look with her mother. Something passes between them but I can't make out what it could be. Zivena then looks at me.
​Her bright green eyes hold the world but they also show how trapped she is. One by one, chains have tethered her to responsibilities she never expected, never wanted. Zivena gifts me with a brief smile before glancing one last time at the glowing embers of her brother's ashes. She strolls to the trees bordering the field, her head leaning back to take in the sky above her.
​"Zivena?" I call after her but she doesn't respond. She moves casually through the needle-like bushes. Her green hair is the last thing I see as she disappears. I go to follow her but someone grabs my arm.
​"Leave her, Mictain," Lyov says, his eyes mournful as he watches the space where she vanished.

✲✲✲✲✲

Almost a week has passed since Ulfric's funeral. There hasn't been a whisper from Zivena. Taregan doesn't think she'll be back soon but standing in her family's home with her parents makes me think otherwise.
​"Thank you again for inviting me over," I say. I can't seem to meet their eyes. "I didn't expect it after Ulfric."
​"I thought we'd already discussed this, Mictain," Lyov insists, his stern voice making me look up. He's frowning at me. "Ulfric's death wasn't your fault."
​Lenia steps closer to me and places a hand on my arm, "Mictain, you were manipulated by a sadistic warlock who craved power and revenge. If anyone is at fault for what happened, it's Bloodwynd and the Guardians. If the Guardians had more of a presence in your life when you were a boy, they could've prevented Bloodwynd from ever getting close to you a second time. No one will blame you for the choices you made. They would've made the same ones being in your position."
​The feeling of seeing someone else in my body still haunts me. The violation. The hatred. The revulsion.
​"I don't think Zivena will forgive me," I say, more to myself then to Lyov and Lenia.
​"Forgiveness is a tricky thing, Mictain," Lyov replies, his cup of coffee steaming in his hand. "Even if someone knows they must forgive someone else, it doesn't mean they can do so easily. They will need time to process what's happened. Forgiveness comes last. Zivena forgave Jared within hours of him hitting her when she was fourteen. But she's never forgiven Evert for what he did when she was eight. I don't think she'll ever be able to forgive him. So give Zivena a little more time. She'll come around."
​Silence shifts uneasily through the kitchen. Lenia leans against the black benchtop, her arms folded as she studies me.
​"I never wanted any of this. I never wanted to hurt your family."
​Lenia sighs patiently, "Do you think I would have let you through the front door of my home if I thought you would intentionally hurt my children?"
​I glance down at my shoes, admitting defeat.
​"Well, that settles it!" Lenia claps her hands and starts bustling around the kitchen, humming under her breath.
​"It's best if we get out of her way," Lyov gestures to the entryway, grinning. "She almost took my eye out once."
​"I heard that, Lyov!"
​Lyov laughs before guiding me into the lounge room. He flicks the TV on and settles himself on the couch.
​"Miraculous events have been occurring around the country," a news reader states. A photo of a small town appears on the screen. "Residents of the hillside town in Colorado were prepared to lose everything as they watched a mudslide rapidly approach their homes and businesses, only to be left overjoyed as the mudslide was diverted. Not a single house or car was lost. Some residents believe they were saved by the small barriers constructed by sandbags, however others are convinced that the barriers had not been enough to divert the mudslide completely.
​"In other news, tornados in Texas have been seen missing houses and farms before dissipating far earlier then predicted," the news reader says as an amateur video pops up on the screen. A large tornado is tearing straight for a small collection of houses and farms. Out of nowhere it changes direction before vanishing a moment later. "These two natural weather events are only the latest in a string of mysterious miracles that have taken place recently. Share your thoughts at—"
​Lyov turns the TV off, muted shock on his face.
​"What was that?" Lenia says from behind me. I hadn't even noticed she'd joined us.
​Lyov shakes his head. There are no words.
​It couldn't be her, could it?