Selected || H.S

T h i r t e e n

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I decide to stand up, checking what time is it and realize I still have two hours left before breakfast. Sighing, I start gathering clothes to take a shower and I suddenly notice a black material near the foot of my bed. I lift it and frown when I realize it's his blazer which he forgot here. His smell is still present on the piece of clothing and I smile, shaking my head at how much of a dork he is. I hang his blazer on a hanger, placing it in my wardrobe, and make a mental note to give it to him later. Not loosing any more time, I enter the bathroom to take a long and well deserved shower.

The hot water slides down my back, but my mind is not here. I think. I think of everything that happened in just one week. It's crazy how time flies by so fast, it feels like ages since I saw my family, not seven days. My emotions have been quite bipolar, going from extremely angry at Zayn to careless, then heartbroken to excited then happy. Happy because he made me laugh and smile. But negative thoughts fill my mind as I think of what we did yesterday. What did he think? Did he like it? I did, because...well, having sex with someone so beautiful can not displease... But there's that tiny, tiny part of me that feels guilty for doing it. I don't know why, it's not like I'm dating Zayn anymore, but maybe my love for him hasn't completely vanished.

What he did was awful, and I hate him so much for that, but at the same time, I feel like I'lll never really stop loving him. He's been part of my life for so long, we've been friends since as long as I can remember before dating. He knew me more than anyone else, he promised he'll always protect me. Funny how he's the one that hurt me the most. I don't get why he'd do that. What have I done?I've never been the kind of girl that cries all the time, but something snapped inside of me that day and I haven't stopped since then. Not in front of the other girls, but Harry.

He has seen me in my most vulnerable states and it's too late to step back. I've already grew attached to him, I just hope what we did won't ruin everything. The worst that could happen is that he'll send me back home, which isn't bad since I'll get to see my family again. But there's another part of me that doesn't want to. I want stay here, for Alex, Grace, Adeline, Laura and Zoe. For Harry. I want to see how far I can go, how much I can help them. I feel like I can really make a change now, that I somehow have more power to help others. Being a pianist probably is my dream, but I can't change people's lives with it. I can try, but I don't think it'll have that much effect. Maybe I'm wrong, but maybe I ended up in this competition for a reason. I just have to discover which one.

"Madison!" I jump at the sound of my name and almost slip in the shower. Calming my heartbeat, I push the curtains and look inside my bathroom, seeing no one. "Madison! Miss Pearl!" Whoever is yelling knocks on the door and I quickly stop the water.

"Yes? Who is it?" I shout back while stepping out of the large shower and taking a while towel, wrapping it around my body.

"It's Laura!" I walk over to the door, careful not to slip, and open it to reveal a grinning red haired girl. "Good morning Madison!"

"Good morning to you too, is there something wrong?" I ask and take another towel, wrapping it around my hair. 

"No, don't worry" I hear Zoe's voice say and I turn to find her unfolding a new outfit on my bed. 

"You just have been invited to Miss Saddler's room. Her maids told us to bring you over to her room in an hour. Breakfast will be served there" Laura explains and I remember Alex's offer to make me listen to Kevin's music. It doesn't excites me as much as before now.

"Oh" I don't know what else to say to be honest. After what happened last night, the thought of Kevin doesn't really please me. But I don't want to upset my friend at the same time, so listening to his music it's going to be.