Selected || H.S

43.

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Madison

"Miss Pearl? We've arrived." Announces the driver as he pulls in front of my home. The sight of the familiar brick house swells my heart and bring tears to my eyes, relief and happiness filling me knowing that I'll be able to return to my old life, even if it's for a short amount of time. Anthony, the driver, opens my door and the moment I step outside, I can see Julie rushing out of my house and running straight into my arms. We both let out sobs as we hug each other tightly in my drive way, glad to be reunited once again. I've missed my little sister so much.

"Mady!" I hear my mom gasp from the front porch before she too runs to wrap her arms around my sister and I, soon followed by dad. We're all crying of happiness and I feel as if all my problems and worries are nonexistent now that I'm back with my family; the only people I entirely trust.

• • •

Harry

Guilt. The only thing I could feel right now, ripping and tearing my insides into shreds and burning a hole in my heart as I remember her face falling and hurt filling her eyes. All because of me.

I tried to tell her the truth, but I know Madison and how stubborn she can be. When it comes to times like these, she always assumes the worse and never lets me entirely explain myself, always pushing me away blindly. Pushing the pain away.

But as frustrating as it is, I get her. She has been betrayed by the first man she ever loved and she has huge trust issues when it comes to me being with girls. Part of me was slightly happy to see that she cares so much about me that the thought of me with someone else sickens her. Another part hurts to see her so insecure about who she trusts, always scared to make the wrong decision and breaking her heart even more. I used to be just the same after what Judith did last year and I know how hard it is to start trusting people back. The fact that I'm the prince makes it even harder since I never know if someone likes me for me, or for what I have.

So knowing how fragile she was-- is -- makes me feel even worse because I fucked up. Big time.

I walk with my head down in the hallways, the only thing I have been doing since she left this morning. Her absence made my heart clench, but I know she needs to be back with her family for a while. We both need to think and I have to find a way to explain myself without sounding like a proper asshole. All of this is a terrible misunderstanding and I don't want her to leave me without explaining myself to her. She deserves to know the truth and after that, I will give her the choice of what to do. I just hope she'll choose to stay with me.

Fuck, I regret so much what I told her. Right, we're not in an official relationship but it was so low of me to scream it in her face as if it was her fault when I knew it wasn't. I was just so angry at myself, at Anastasia for telling her and maybe a little bit at Mady for not trusting me enough. But honestly, after what I did, I don't blame her for not trusting me at all. It was a terrible mistake that I tried to forget, yet it resurfaced and bit me in the arse.

I have to make her forgive me. I need her in my life so much, she has digged herself a place in my heart and I don't want her to leave. She makes me want to be a better person for her, I want to be who she deserves and I don't care how hard it's going to be, I'll do it. For her. And I don't care about the bloody Selection, she's the one I want.

"Oh, sorry Your Majesty! I wasn't looking where I was walking." I look up from the floor after bumping into someone, my eyes meeting Alexandra's blue ones.

"It's alright Alexandra, I wasn't looking either." I try to smile, but it feels like a painful grimace and by the look in her eyes, I can see that she noticed it.