Selected || H.S

24.

I make my way between the most powerful and wealthy people in the world, the one I'm looking for being one of them. When I spot his dark curls near the front door, my body relaxes and I quicken my pace to reach him. He turns around, his face contorted in a worried expression before his green eyes land on me. I see him let out a heavy breath and he walks over to me, both of us stopping as we meet.

"Mady! Where were you?" He asks, his brows pulled in a frown as his eyes inspect my face. No sound can leave my parted lips as I stare at him, still under the shock of seeing Zayn again. "Are you alright?" His hand reaches for mine, making my skin tingle and wake me up from my sudden trance.

"I-I'm sorry, I. . ." I stutter, only making his worry grow. Unlike yesterday, I feel empty inside. I don't have any more tears or energy to waste on Zayn. My heart feels numb and I can't feel that fire ignite.  If I knew that I'd meet him during this trip, I would have never agreed to go in England. And Harry, poor Harry that has to keep up with me and my love history. I feel bad, awfully bad to have him so attentive and patient, waiting for me to open my heart to him, but right now, I can't. I started to, but I'm not so sure anymore. What Zayn did broke something inside of me and now that I'm here, miles away from the people I truly love and who I can trust, I feel lost. Confused, lost, broken. I don't feel like I belong here. . . or deserve him. "I-I need to go, please." I ask, avoiding his gaze. He tilts my chin up, but my eyes don't dare to meet his.

"It's alright, we can go back to the hotel right now. I'll call a car and we'll leave this place. Tomorrow we'll--"

"No," I interrupt him, feeling my chin tremble as I try to keep my composure. Breath in, breath out. "I need to go. Right now"

"What? What are you saying? What happened? Mady, you're scaring me." He stares at me with shock before looking from left to right and pulling me outside the ballroom. The sound of the music is now muffled as the large doors close behind us, leaving him and I in a calm silence, only watched by the several paintings around us. He starts to walk towards his dad's apartment, but I pull on his hand, making him stop.

"Harry, please." I plea, the tears blurring my vision. When I thought I couldn't cry anymore, here he is being a perfect man and making me feel even more guilty. Earlier I felt empty, now I could feel the lump of emotions going up my throat, threatening to spill.

Not again please.

"Mady, what's wrong?" He asks softly, cupping my face with his large hands and stroking my cheek with his thumb. Should I tell him? He'll probably think I'm pathetic for once again crying over someone who doesn't deserve me. He'll maybe think I'm using him even and that he's wasting his time with me. He'll hate me.

But when has Harry been mean or judgmental with me? When hasn't he held me in his arms to make my tears and pain go away? When hasn't he said the right things to make me feel better?

Deep down, I know he's the right one. But fear has now entirely filled me now. Fear of trusting someone else. Fear of being used and manipulated again. Fear of sharing my feelings with someone, only to get the opposite back. Fear of love, more than ever before. 

"You've seen him again?" He speaks, his voice low and pained. I finally dare to look up, but his eyes are no longer on mine. I bite my bottom lip, nodding once at his question. He lets out a heavy sigh, his hands dropping to hang by his sides. "You still love him. I knew it."

"N-No, Harry, that's not it. I-" I start to speak, my voice hoarse. He shakes his head, turning to look at me.

"No, Mady. I agreed to wait for you. To give you time so you could open your heart to me. You know how I feel about you, and even though you told me the same thing, I know it's not true. If you did really like me, you wouldn't be crying over him. You would have moved on." He says, hurt evident in his features. I gasp at his words, feeling like someone has just kicked me in the stomach and making the tears roll down my cheeks.