Heroes Insider Weekly

How Guys n Girls Think - Tops and Footwear

Thor: So here we are again, this time Ursula has managed to bring me down under for a short while.

Ursula: I didn’t bring you down, you got kicked out of Asgard again and had no place to go.

Thor: You love me. *winks boyishly at Ursula*

Ursula: Anyways…we have to get talking now.

Thor: Of course! *Lifts giant hammer into the sky* Lets us bask in the knowledge of fashion nonsense and whatnot that means zilch to men!

Ursula: *Shakes head* You do realize that we’re surrounded by water, if you summoned lightning down here we’d get fried.

Thor: *Sits down sheepishly* I did not realize this, proceed.

*Everything begins to swirl in Ursula crystal ball*

 *******************************************************************************

Shirts, tees and general upper body wear.

         I realize that everyone has their own personal opinion about fashion. But I myself think that, most girls HATE when guys unbutton their top buttons, I’m not talking about one or two buttons with a little fuzz poking out the top, I mean 70's style half way down unbuttoned, or worse. When they go so far down you can see their belly button but the bottom buttons are STILL done up (What's the point???). Do you know what this actually reminds me of? PORN STARS! Tacky homemade porn stars who are fat tom jones lookalikes.

         I also really hate when guys wear turtle necks, I mean some guys can really pull it off, but for the majority of guys out there, I’m sorry, but you look bent, especially when they are light blue, red, green, red, orange, red, or any other color other than black, but especially red.

         Pants, Shorts, general lower body wear.

         I don't really have much to say in this region, Guys can get away with any kind of bottoms. BUT girls HATE it when you wear them sagging under your knees! It’s pretty gross when we can see your underwear and we’re not even on a first name basis yet. We also hate when you go the opposite way and wear them sky high like Steve Irkle (Can you spell this?) It’s pretty disturbing when we can see your bits hanging on one side of pants.

Footwear

    My all-time most hated fashion crime of all time has to be the "Man sandal with socks" WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY! Sandals are summer wear; socks are to keep your feet warm? WHY DO YOU COMBINE THEM? It’s just not logical, and it looks ridiculous! I don't know why anyone would ever want to combine socks and sandals. It’s like you had hot feet, but you also have gnarly fungus toes! Gross.

         Now let me leave to a guy’s perspective.

Tops: We prefer none.

Footwear: We could care less…

*Feels tentacle smack him upside the head*

         Ok, ok, I’ll be serious.

       Let’s see, tops for women that do it for guys… this generally depends on the seasons. If it’s summer, we def love tanks, and spaghetti straps. It just works. But in all seriousness, you really can’t go wrong with tops for a dude, unless you’re rocking granny clothes or the Forever 62 rather than 21.

         I mean, if you got the bod, work it. Don’t use layers, unless it’s freezing cold.

       But then again, there are some things that just push the limits. I was on Facebook just now, strolling down the newsfeed and what do I see?

         Rihanna

        She’s hot or whatever, you know for a celeb that has every single beauty utensil and top notch fashion trend at hand’s reach. But today she was not doing it. Her top was see-through…and not the good kind where you can see a hint of her cute bra. No, I’m talking fishnet see-through why bother wearing it if it ain’t covering nothing stripper top!

         Yuck!

        Even though her tits were nice to look at, because she did not even bother to wear a bra, I could only think to myself. That looks so sleazy, and did you know that her tits are not even that firm? Like, they sag… I was disappointed.

         So if you got sagging boobs that borderline the appearance of man titties—DON’T WEAR SEE-THROUGH FISHNET TOPS!

         WHY!? WHY MUST YOU FORCE THE PUBLIC TO SEE THOSE?!

       But if you got nice perky breasts, then the see-through can be pulled off. ONLY BECAUSE WE’LL BE DSITRACTED!

         So yea, the see-through fishnet thing, does not work. It only serves for us to enjoy your tits.

         Now moving on to footwear…

         Geez, where the hell can I begin? I know next to nothing about this stuff, but I can say some of the things I do like and what I don’t.

         Converse: They look cute on girls; of course you have to have the age range.

        Boots: I don’t know the name, or I forget because I looked it up once for one of my characters. But I LOVE when girls wear those cute fluffy boots for winter. I don’t know why, but it’s such a turn on. That’s my personal opinion.

       BUT BEWARE! I ain’t talking about them leather knee length boots that make you look like some kind of sadist. Nor do I like the stiletto boot things…what the hell are they? As is it wasn’t uncomfortable enough to walk around with knee length boots, ya gotta go and make a stiletto hybrid?

         Speaking of high heels and stuff, some girls can work em, others can’t. I really can’t tell you if it’s wrong or right, but sometimes—more often than not—they look very sleazy. When I think of a girl, or see a girl in stilettos or high heels at a club, I generally think—she ain’t your typical girl next door. More like DTS…? LOL Girl down to snuggle.

         Don’t get me wrong, it’s judging a book by the cover, because they are not all DTS. But let’s look at it from my vantage point. If she’s wearing high heels and makeup, it means she’s looking from attention, and if given from the right person, SHE’S DTS.

         Well before Thor keeps talking out of his ass, we’re leaving it there. See you guys next chapter of How Girls n Guys Think.

Remember, READ RATE AND REVIEW!

@Arch_AlphaSirius

@Knackahz

Thor: Hey Ursula? How the hell am I breathing under water…?

Ursula: *Grins wickedly* Who says you are?

Thor: *Begins to realize he’s been holding his breath and passes out*