Journey's Child

38

Thad was right. A few weeks in his care and my mother was much better. She could eat soft food and was speaking, although she sounded like her mouth was full of marbles. On this particularly warm and bright afternoon, I watched from the couch as my mom walked in from the kitchen. I noticed how straight she was standing as she took one step after another without shuffling her feet.

She sat down on the other end of the couch and leaned back with her hands resting in her lap. All the bandages had been removed from her face except the gauze over her left eye. There was still some bruising and swelling, but she looked like my mom.

The sun pushed in from the window. Rays of sunlight streaked across the room, highlighting my mother's profile. I studied the illuminated trail as it ran through the room to the couch. Little flecks of dust floated in its glow and appeared to flutter down the beam towards her.

There was a long red scar that ran from her ear just under her jaw almost all the way to her chin. It only showed when she lifted her head, but it reminded me of a border between beauty and peace that crossed over to ugliness and hate.

My mother glanced over at me and I immediately looked away. She gave me a knowing smile and then she brought up the weather. This marked the change in our conversations. My mother had always spoke up about whatever was on her mind and she encouraged me to do the same. Before the accident, our talks were honest and educational and for the most part adult. Now, that seemed to be shadowed in uncomfortable silences and short, vague responses. She avoided making eye contact as much as possible and human contact even more. She often sat on the couch for hours at a time, without doing anything but staring out the window. I asked if she would like a book to read because I never knew her not to be reading something.

"I can't seem to concentrate on a book right now, Gilly," she said.

It scared me to see her just sit and look off into space, but Thad told me to give her more time.

*

Halloween was fast approaching and still my mom wasn't well enough to go back to San Jose. I was happy to be with Thad and Ben, but I felt the loneliness of my situation, too. Ben being in school all day and the isolation of the cove, made me feel like I had been banished to a castle tower for a crime I wasn't sure I had committed.

Ben had been coming over less and less lately. I felt the sting of being tossed aside, even though he told me he was rehearsing for a play he was cast in. The play 'The Legend of Sleepy Hollow', was scheduled for the weekend of October 25th and 26th, with a dress rehearsal for the school student body on Friday the 24th.

On the Monday before, Ben told us that he got permission for me to come on that Friday to watch it with the students.

"Or we can go together this weekend," Thad offered.

"I want to go on Friday," I said. "It will be like I'm part of the school."

Thad seemed to be considering this.

"In a way, she is part of the school. Mr. Hanson and Mrs. Carey are both her teachers," Ben added in my favor.

Thad nodded. "I'll take you and pick you up after."

"Or Ben can walk me home," I added but immediately saw that my suggestion was shot down by the look on his face.

The play was chosen to be part of the Halloween festivities. Ben was playing the part of Brom 'Bones' Van Brunt. The girl I saw in town with Debbie was playing Katrina Van Tassel. Ben told me that he didn't like her but that she was his brother, Rory's girlfriend. Her name was Judy and she was in eighth grade. Rory was a freshman in high school this year.

All week I looked forward to Friday. I was really excited to be a part of something outside my inner circle of isolation and tragedy. I wanted to look special, but all I had was summer clothes. Thad said we could shop in Eugene on Wednesday when he took my mom in for her doctor's appointment.

*

Thad and I sat in the doctor's waiting room reading magazines while my mom was in with the doctor. Suddenly Thad stood up.

"I'll be right back," he told me.

I watched as he walked over to the nurse waiting at the door and then they both disappeared through it. Looking around, I noticed several people had arrived and were waiting to see the doctor. They all looked okay to me and I wondered if my mother was his sickest patient.

After a little while Thad and my mother came out. I noticed my mom seemed uptight and angry. Thad was harder to read. He seemed a little more serious, but I wasn't sure.

"Okay, let's go shopping. There's a Macy's at the mall," he offered.

"That sounds good," I said as a rush of excitement ran through me.

My mom didn't say anything. I sat in the backseat and worried about her mood.

When we got to the mall and parked Thad looked over at my mom and asked, "Ready?"

"I'll wait here," she said as she stared straight ahead.

"Okay, we'll hurry," I said as I reached for the door handle.

Thad continued to stare at my mom. "You can walk or I can carry you, but we are taking your daughter shopping."

I sat frozen in the back seat with my hand still on the door handle. I was trying to understand what was happening. It sounded like they were fighting.

"Fine!" my mother said, "let's get this over with."

She jerked her door open and stepped out. Thad looked back at me and winked.

"Let's go," he said.

I got a pair of jeans with embroidery and bling on the back pockets and a long sleeved white tee shirt with orange glitter stripes. Thad insisted that I get a new pair of shoes too. I got a pair of black Converse high tops that I really liked. My mom kept quiet although she smiled at my choices.

On our way out, Thad asked if I would like to get a cinnamon roll. My mother seemed uncomfortable with his suggestion.

"People are looking at us," she complained.

"Well, if you would take those sunglasses off..." he told her.

We all had rolls, even my mom, although she refused to take her sunglasses off. I listened as they talked or maybe argued would be more accurate. What I learned was that the doctor wanted my mom to get out and around people more and not sit by herself so much. Thad was just following the doctor's orders.

*

The drive back to Drakes Harbor was washed in warm golden sunlight. The trees were full of fall colors and I enjoyed watching the landscape rush by from the back seat. It appeared that Thad and my mom had made up, because they were visiting with each other as if nothing had happened.

Main Street was decorated for Halloween. There were ghosts and witches and bats taped up in the old store windows and pumpkins sitting in every doorway. Some of them were carved into jack-o-lanterns with twisted scary faces. I thought about the play. Drakes Harbor with all its ghost-like qualities could have been Sleepy Hollow. Right on cue, out my window standing in front of the grocery, I saw Debbie, Rory and his girlfriend Judy, who was playing Katrina in the play. Rory had his arm hung loosely across Judy's shoulders and Debbie stood beside him with her hands in her back pockets. She glanced over at the Land Rover as we passed and glared at me. The sneer on her face was hateful. Suddenly I was glad that Thad was taking me to the play and picking me up.