Inside These Prison Walls(TWD fanfic)

Chapter Two

I wake up and roll over on my side to face the wall. Outside, I can hear soft voices, but I ignore them. I must have been asleep for fifteen, maybe twenty minutes. Exhaustion still seeps through my body, making my eyes heavy.

I press my cheek to my pillow, closing my eyes again, feeling a wetness. I look down and see a giant wet spot. My cheeks are wet too. I must have been crying in my sleep.

As I sit up, Daryl walks into the room, hurriedly. He pauses at the doorway when he sees me sitting up.

"What?" I ask.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Tell you what?" I ask, picking at a hole in my jeans.

"Don't play coy with me. You know exactly what I mean." he snaps.

I narrow my eyes at him. "So I'm the one you get angry with?"

"Don't say that. You know very well that I'm not angry with you."

"So what, then? What are you mad about?" I yell.

"He touched you! He fucking raped you and you didn't even tell me?" Daryl yells right back.

"What was I supposed to say? 'Oh, by the way, that guy who tortured you? Yeah he raped me.' Is that what you wanted? So you could have turned around and done something? So you could have gotten yourself killed? Left me alone to deal with that bastard and deal with all this shit?" I scream at him.

"You didn't have to be alone! I would have protected you! Taken care of you!"

"How? You had the crap beaten out of you. You could barely stand, let alone protect me!" I get so angry that tears begin to well up, but I brush them away.

"So what then? You planned on not telling me? Just living through life, keeping that secret to yourself, never saying a word?"

I give a bitter laugh. "What life? You call this a life? Living in a prison, get kidnapped, fighting walkers everyday? Killing the people we once loved? This is not a life! It's a phase, another page in a book until we all die! That is what this is! It's not even worth it anymore!" I spit out at him.

"So none of this is real to you?"

"No." I spit out angrily. "It's not. Just something to pass my time before I eventually die. That's all any of this is."

I push past him and walk out of the room. He stops me at the top of the stairs by grabbing my arm.

"That still doesn't explain why I had to find out, from my brother, about what happened. You went to him instead of me?"

"Yes, Daryl, I did"

"Why? Do you not trust me? After everything, you don't trust me?"

"No that's not it."

"Then why?"

"Because I'm selfish!" I scream at him. "I'm a selfish bitch who didn't want you to know because I didn't want you looking at me like I was some-some dirty piece of trash. Like I was something you couldn't love. I didn't want you to have to wake up everyday and see me beside you and think of that. Just something to add to everything else. I didn't want that for you. So I chose to just keep it all in. I told your brother because he was the only one who wouldn't make a big deal about it. All I want is to just forget everything that happened yesterday and move on. But no, obviously I can't do that." I storm down the stairs, not caring that he'll follow me.

"You really thought that? That I couldn't love you?"

 I stop and close my eyes, letting a tear escape. "I don't know. I don't know what I thought. All I knew is that I didn't want to hurt you. Even if it meant lying and keeping secrets from you."