Two days pass and I’ve found myself seeing more of Jack than Finn. Finn has been burdening himself with so much work lately that I don’t really have much of a choice. Jack admits to being a huge procrastinator, and I don’t have much of a workload to being with, which means we have a lot of free time.
Finn doesn't suspect anything and that makes it just a little more painful for me. I haven’t actually lied to him about anything because he hasn’t asked any questions. I can feel him growing more and more distant… but whenever we do have a chance to spend time together, I feel incredibly close and comfortable with him. I just wish we had more opportunities to be together without any distractions.
My feet lightly press into the damp mulch underneath the swing set. It’s an overcast, gloomy day in London yet everything feels like it’s thriving and full of life and happiness. Last night was riddled with horrendous storms, leaving today with the peaceful and dreary after mass. There have been a few light showers but the day has overall been quite peaceful.
I hear the faint clicking from Jack’s camera nearby and I wonder where he’s run off to. I turn my head and see him leaning against one of the poles connected to the swing set, smiling sneakily as he snaps photos of me.
“Stop it,” I cover part of my face.
“Why not? You look so lovely.”
“I thought you brought me here to have fun. Not just take photos of me sitting on a swing,” I say playfully.
“I’m sorry, are you not having fun?” Jack towers in front of me, his camera hanging from the strap around his neck.
He lowers his head and presses his lips gently against mine. My senses go wild with the touch of his skin and the smell of the trees all around us. Jack pulls away and motions towards the playground with his head. He slides his camera into the case beside one of the nearby trees and darts to the slides.
I can’t help but chuckle as climbs up the playground. I follow him, slowly, enjoying watching him maneuver around all of the obstacles. He’s an idiot, but I know that he’s doing it just to make me laugh.
I awkwardly start to make my way to the highest platform of the playground where Jack is sitting. I finally reach it and find Jack sitting with his back against the metal bars and his knees pulled up to his chest. His eyes are staring out into the woods surrounding the deserted playground. I take a seat next to him and we both remain still for a long time. The only sound is our breathing and the dripping of water falling off of the surface of the playground.
“Do you think we’ll ever be together?” Jack’s words sound odd and they scare me.
After a short pause I whisper, “We are together.”
“I mean… really together?” he tries to smile but it fades away instantly, “Without having to be a secret?”
“Jack we’ve been over this before.”
“I know, I know. I just… can’t help but wonder sometimes. If you’re ever going to have love for only me.”
I reach over and Jack’s fingers wrap around my hand. The metal on this playground is cold and it sends shivers throughout my small body. Jack’s face has become so weary and distressed, with small wrinkles along his forehead and a slight frown along his almost red lips.
“You know I have so much love for you, Jack.”
He simply nods his head and stares at his feet. Maybe it’s the weather that’s bringing him so down. Or maybe it’s that I’m in a relationship with his big brother. What the fuck am I doing?
“You’re the kindest person I’ve met in a while,” my words are very quiet because I’m scared to share such honest emotions, “You… I don’t know. You noticed me. You just really noticed me. There were so many girls in that club, wearing hardly any clothes and throwing themselves at any guy they laid eyes on… and you came up and started talking to me. I didn’t realize at the time how sweet you were.
“Now look at us… Months later, in a different country, living together, sneaking around. Look at everything that’s happened. We’re together now. Whether it’s a secret or not, we still have each other. You talk to me like I really matter and you look at me with so much love… I feel so special when I’m with you, Jack. The love I have for you, this unique sort of love that I feel… I only feel when I’m with you.”
Jack raises his head to look at me, not smiling or frowning. His face is blank and vacant of all emotions. My heart starts to beat faster because I’m scared of what he’s going to say. I shouldn’t have shared that sort of honesty with him. Is that giving him more false hope? Am I giving myself false hope?
While my mind is going crazy, I don’t notice when Jack leans in. His lips crash against mine and he cups my face with his hands. Jack gives me sweet, loving pecks on the lips while he tries to conceal his smile.
“Let’s go somewhere,” his eyes are full of happiness and so is his voice.
“Okay, where?”
“France.”
“What?” I can’t help but laugh.
Jack falls into laughter with me, “I’m serious! Let’s go!”
“We can’t just go to France?!”
“Why not?”
“Because… well,” I don’t want to say Finn’s name.
“Forget about him. We’ll wait until… your mom leaves! And we’ll tell him you’re going back with her for a visit and you’ll come back soon.”
“So I lie to him and tell him I’m going to California?”
“Yeah! I’ll pay for everything. Just you and me in a warm cottage.”
“Jack… that sounds a little risky.”
“We can go skiing,” he muses, “And spend an entire day in bed.”
“I’d have to make sure my Mom knew about it. I can’t tell her.”
“Will you just think about it?”
Jack furrows his eyebrows together in a cute stubbornness and I bite my lip as I nod. It does sound absolutely perfect, but I’ve managed to not actually lie to Finn so far since Jack and I started things up again. I guess I’ll have to lie to him eventually. This is just so wrong, but I can’t help myself. I love them both.
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Travel (A Jack and Finn Harries Fanfiction)
Fanfiction"It’s something that should have never happened. It’s so hard for me to regret it, though. Everything about him was perfect. Everything about him still is perfect." Ashley is hesitant to travel back to California, the place she used to call home. Bu...
