Silence is Golden

Chapter 6

The chair beside scraped back and he sat down inching closer to me. What’s he doing? Why won’t he just leave me alone? Why won’t they all just leave me alone? I just want to be alone what about that don’t they get.

“Do you know who I am?” he asked leaning in to whisper in my ear making me shake with fear, my knuckles going white from gripping the edge of the desk so hard.

“Answer me” he growled.

I shook my head quickly trying to keep my tears from spilling over and down my face.

“I'm Blake, best player on the football team and the guy every girl wants to date and you ignored me, no one ignores me” he said angrily.

How did I supposedly do this? Was it because I sat in his seat and then didn’t speak to him or because I didn’t drop at his feet and worship him the second he walked through the door? I'm surprised he can even get through the door considering how big his head is. The snide remark suddenly appearing in my mind shocked me. That’s something the old me would say, to his face. Where the sudden spark of defiance came from I don’t know but it didn’t last long. He chuckled enjoying my obvious discomfort. Giggles broke out from the other side of the room. I noticed his body turn slightly telling me he had turned round to look at them. He turned back and leaned closer making me instantly flinch which seemed to amuse him. He was playing with me, he knew his presence made me uncomfortable and he was trying to see how long it would be until he could make me snap. He just wants to humiliate me in front of everyone. But this revelation still couldn’t stop me from reacting the way he expected and wanted me to.

“Look at me” he demanded.

My heart continued to beat furiously making my chest ache and I could feel the sweat on my forehead. The room began to become bleary blackness tugging at the edges of my vision.   I saw his hand reaching toward me in my periphery vision, my fear kept me frozen unable to move as I silently screamed at my body to move. His strong fingers gripped my chin pinching slightly. I regained control and wrenched myself from his grip jumped up grabbed my bag and made a dash for the door the laughter of his groupies following me as I fled down the corridor. I dropped my Ipod twice due to my shaking hands before I managed to get the little headphones in my ears. I turned the volume up as far as it would go and pulled up my hood shutting out the rest of the world.

I was home before I knew it relief flooding my body. Every time I start to feel minutely comfortable something has to go and happen then I have to start all over. I should have realised from the beginning that this is all pointless. I'm never going to be left alone so I can try to keep my head above the water that is continually trying to drown me. It’s all pointless.

I pushed the door open and drifted inside silently. My mother’s head pocked round the kitchen door way when she heard the door shut. Her bright red lips spread out into a smile as she stepped fully into the hall way. My mother has a slightly strange taste in clothes, well strange for a forty year old woman. If she was sixteen her outfit would look perfectly normal, the denim skirt she had on stopping just below her butt exposing her long tanned legs with their slight orange tinge and her feet encased in sparkling stilettos. Her hair is dyed blonde and perfectly straight and her makeup is like a riot of colour, at least it’s not smudged and half way across her face like it is some days. She obviously did her make up this morning before having her morning bottle of wine. My mum always liked to look nice and feel young but when her drinking started getting out of control so did her fashion sense. She wobbled towards me in her ridiculous heels, why she feels the need to wear them in the house I don’t know.

“Your home early how was your day? I have a surprise for you” she exclaimed excitedly.

She headed back into the kitchen and I followed silently wracking my brains about what this surprise could be. The things her drink addled brain think are exciting and good ideas really aren’t. She waited impatiently by the kitchen table a small grey box sitting opposite her. She pushed it toward me smiling brightly. The box wasn’t very big and there was a picture of a phone on the front. I stared at the box unsure of what to make of it.

“Well what do you think? I thought I would get you a new one as you haven’t replaced your old one, you can text that lovely Daniel boy now” she said happily. 

I just stared at her unsure of what to do.

“I wasn’t sure what you would want so I got you a blackberry, all the kids your age has BlackBerry’s” she said continuing to babble to herself happily.

Cautiously I picked up the box and left the room not bothering to listen to whatever she is babbling about. I sat down on my bed and placed the box on my bedside cabinet just staring at it. I don’t know how long I sat there but eventually I passed out from exhaustion.

Watery sunlight hit my face making me slowly come to. I shielded my eyes from it until they adjusted to the light. My head was pounding and the whole room seemed to spin. I hate to think how many hours it’s been now since I ate last. I staggered across the room and down the hall to the bathroom. I pulled off my clothes and stepped into the shower trying to clear my head. Once I was dressed in my school uniform and big hoody I staggered down the stairs the smell of toast and bacon making me gag. I perched on a stool and forced down some orange juice and half a piece of toast before silently slinking out the house with my school bag.

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